Millennials: What funeral are you waiting to go to?

This is a Millennial Safety Alert.

Hola. I’ll make this as brief as possible since it is my understanding that most Millennials can’t read or comprehend anything beyond 140 characters or more recently 280 characters.

Millennials: To be seen at night and to avoid being hit by motorists and cyclists, you must wear reflective clothing. If you insist on wearing your conformist, conservative and mandatory all-black Millennial Shroud UniformTM that you wear every day of the year — I hope you wash it occasionally! — you must wear something reflective in addition to that to be seen at night. Otherwise, you run the risk of being hit. Do you want to be hit? I think to most people this is basic sense/very remedial, but unfortunately most Millennials missed this along the way. No one ever taught you that conservative all-black funeral attire (head-to-toe black clothing) cannot be seen at night? Or you haven’t observed that for yourself? No I suppose you wouldn’t, because that would require your having to look up from your phone. Not. About. To. Happen. And motorists and cyclists (such as myself) can’t see you until we’re right up on you, at which point it can be too late. Understand? Now I know that you’re very afraid of colour (what idiots brainwashed that into you?) and you prefer to look completely zombie-like and conformist in clothes that one would normally wear to a funeral. But for your own safety — and assuming your safety is more important to you than being seen in your conformist drab and depressed-looking “uniform” — please wear some reflective clothing/item on your person with pretty bright colours in it so you can be seen at night when you’re jogging in all black, walking across the street in all black or riding your bicycle in all black and without any lights (not very intelligent). Muchas gracias. Chau.—el barrio rosa

(roll eyes)

Whoever thought I’d have to write this? People without basic sense. Stupid is in. Who are these Millennials? They are among the most stupid people on the planet with their phone in their face and absolutely no social skills whatsoever. They come with their self-entitled, self-absorbed enormous egos — they’ve been told by their parents and others how wonderful they are and that they deserve the best — with their blank stares or angry-looking facial expressions and their miserable/nasty personalities. A chip on both shoulders best describes them. I think it would break their face if they ever had to smile. And don’t expect to hear the words “excuse me” from them because that’s not in their vocabulary. All they can do is grunt or say the word “like.” This defines most Millennials from my unfortunate experience with them.