San Francisco: From the Gay Mecca to the Closet Case Mecca (2020)

Hola a todos. As I wrote some time ago, closet cases have moved to San Francisco’s Castro in droves. That’s stunning really when you think about it. Why would closet cases move to — what used to be — an openly Gay Mecca for Queers where they could be “out and proud” and be themselves. Open and honest with themselves and others. Did closet cases deliberately move to The Castro and Upper Market to get some dick on the side when “the wife” or “the girlfriend” is not looking? Is that why they moved here? And she’s with a closet case and is too damn thick and dense to pick up on it? Or is Mr Closet Case the only guy who would ever give Ms Needy the attention she craves and thinks she deserves 24/7, 365 days a year?

San Francisco has been like this for awhile: A Closet Case Mecca. A Breeder Mecca. It is no longer a Gay Mecca. I’m probably the only person who will tell you this because from what I’ve observed, most (Queer) people, the conservative merchants and the corporatists in San Francisco don’t like to talk about this. Or if they do, they speak in code language so you still have no idea what they’re talking about. The conservative Castro merchants say, “the neighbourhood has changed” or “the neighbourhood is changing.” That’s all they say. They never say how. They like to leave it vague because they don’t want to offend the breeders/straights because they want their dinero/money. How has the neighbourhood changed? I’ll tell you: It’s become mostly straight. That’s how it’s changed. It’s been taken over by Millennial breeders — you know the people who wear “the uniform”/black clothing 24/7, 365 days a year as if they’re headed to a funeral– with their black baby strollers. These self-entitled and self-absorbed Millennials have moved into San Francisco by the thousands. This delights the conservative bigots — including some conservative Queer prudes — because they never liked The Gay Mecca to begin with, even though many of them moved here deliberately to be part of it decades ago. But after they became conservative prudes, that all changed and then came their disdain for the Gay Mecca that they once loved. The conservatives have long moaned, whinged and complained about The Castro, using code language suggesting they wanted the neighbourhood to become straight “and normal.” So they (the conservative merchants and self-entitled homeowners) sanitised The Castro with the help of a conservative gay politician who moved here from New Jersey, of all places! Some of us refer to him as Scott Penis, in part, because of his fear of seeing the naked human body including a guy’s penis. Does Scott flip out when he sees his own penis? He authored the City-wide nudity ban because of a few naked guys on occasion in The Castro. Well, The Castro has had a long history of public nudity over the decades but Scott Prude Penis wanted an end to that. He couldn’t stay in New Jersey and mind his own damn business and change things there that he didn’t like. No, he moved his ass here to help ruin The Castro and turn it into what it has become today: A Closet Case Mecca and a Breeder Mecca for straights and their baby strollers. Although in the era of COVID-19, The Castro is now essentially an abandoned, boarded-up section of The City resembling a type of slum area. Do they still refer to it as “vibrant?” The Castro is now the opposite of the overused word “vibrant.”

Who would have ever thought that the City that was once the Gay Mecca would become the Closet Case Mecca after gay marriage became legal in the States? After that court ruling, Queers were told to blend in, not stick out, not be rad or radical after the gay marriage ruling. Well, the word they used was “assimilate.” So, after that time, Queers took out their earrings and other body piercings, they removed their Rainbow Flags from their backpacks and their person with many getting a fake interest in local corporate sports teams so that they could look and be just like the straight guys in order to “assimilate” (ugh) or blend in with the straights, as if being Queer was a bad thing when the majority consists of breeders. Then, thousands of Millennial techies moved here as The City was changed into the Tech Industrial Complex. The Old City is gone. Many of the techies are Queer but in the closet as they walk around here making out and holding hands with females in breeder relationships clearly having succumbed to society’s “you must be straight to be ‘normal'” brainwashing. The Millennial generation was heavily brainwashed with some strong anti-Queer prejudices. That is very clear. What was once a dominantly male and Queer area — The Castro and Upper Market — today is a Closet Case Mecca, a Breeder Mecca, with an over-saturation of females. A friend of mine stopped going to bars in The Castro (pre-COVID-19) because they’ve been taken over by females. Females trying to pick up guys?

Or as a Queer acquaintance of mine — a homeowner — who moved away said: “Welcome to the Heterosexual Castro…The Baby Stroller Kingdom.”

There are still some Queers here — a few, that’s what it feels like — who are not in the closet, but they are no way in the majority. And what infuriates me is when I see a Queer boy holding the hand of his girlfriend in the grocery store and out of the corner of his eye he cruises me or mi amigo/my friend. Then she catches him looking at a guy and rams her elbow in his ribs. Listen Bitch: It’s your problem that you have no gaydar and are stuck with a Queer boy rather than a genuine straight guy. So fuck off! Do we understand each other, bitch? I have absolutely no patience for these people. I have no patience for the weak Queer boy who can’t get his ass out of that unhealthy closet and I have no patience for his bitch. Is he the only guy who would ever give her the mandatory and required attention she requires 24/7, 365 days a year? Ms Needy/Ms High-Maintenance.

It’s so rare to run into or see an openly Queer boy or Queer male couple these days, that when I do see that, I say: Write down the date and time to have a reminder of it.

Whoever would have thought that San Francisco would go from being an “out and proud” rad Gay Mecca to a conservative Closet Case Mecca of closeted Queer guys who are 1) either single males or 2) with females and living a “straight life” often with kids? Ugh. Face facts: Expect a horrible mess when you get mixed up with a female. It seems that her vagina controls all of her emotions. And she’s an emotional train wreck most of the time. I say that just on having females as friends. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with one, which is probably why the divorce rate is well over 50% for breeder couples in the States. Chau.—el barrio rosa

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