San Francisco’s Castro: The Baby Stroller Kingdom

Hola a todos. It recently occurred to me that when conservative politician gay prude Scott Penis, proposed widening the Castro Street sidewalks in San Francisco — essentially erasing decades of queer history that occurred on those sidewalks during the Gay Mecca decades — that his true intentions were to cater to the invading breeders so that the sidewalks would be wide enough to accommodate their large black baby strollers. I remember seeing a poster in one of the store windows reading, “Welcome to the Neighbourhood” and the image was that of a Black guy narrating the text on the poster. I remember asking myself: What’s the purpose of this poster? Who are they welcoming? Other queers? But that was not the impression the poster gave because I don’t remember seeing anything on the poster that even spoke to that. Or are they just welcoming visitors/tourists? I walked away from reading the poster confused on what the purpose of it was. I remember it was a sanitised poster meaning that it was written in the typical vague code language. Thinking back on that poster, I think the poster’s intent was to welcome the breeders who were moving in and taking over the neighbourhood and forcing queers out. And the poster’s vague code language is what I’ve come to expect from the conservative Castro merchants and the busy-bodied conservative neighbourhood association assholes who think they own the place. Over the years, these groups have repeatedly said, “The demographics of the neighbourhood are changing.” One might ask: How are they changing? They never say how anywhere because they don’t want to offend anyone, especially the wealthy breeder$. And over the years, some of the wealthy elitist queer homeowners made it quite clear that they preferred to live next to wealthy breeders with their screaming babies rather than to live next to other queers of a lower-income bracket. Septic people and their Class-Warfare Agenda.

Although The Holy and Indivisible Trinity (Scott Penis) — which is how Scott Penis’s disciples seemed to see him as some deity by stopping short of genuflecting to him when they were in his presence — gift-wrapped his sidewalk expansion idea to his gullible and rabid cultists as “We need wider sidewalks for (Corporate) Pride in June.” I thought: You’re widening the sidewalks for one weekend in June or for just one Sunday in June? That’s ludicrous. But the idea was coming from The Holy and Indivisible Trinity so it had to be good, right? That was the mindset around here. His cultists worshipped the ground he walked on. I don’t see that happening now with him. But upon reflection, needing wider sidewalks for June was another lie. The sidewalks we already had served us just fine when the neighbourhood was a gay area and not a baby factory. The real reason for the sidewalk expansion was about the breeders and their babies who were moving into the neighbourhood and clearly Scott Penis was no admirer of the Gay Mecca. He wanted it gone. Fin. The End. He was ashamed of it with its rich queer and radical history and its occasional nudity. Mr Prude Scott Penis didn’t want anything that offended the prudish (white) breeders who were moving in and complaining about “the gays” and “the trans.” Some breeders were overheard saying, “There are too many gay people here.” Apparently these breeder idiots had moved to a City and a (former) Gay Mecca that they knew nothing about and had apparently watched no newcasts for decades to learn about San Francisco’s international reputation — at that time — as a leader for queer and other social justice issues. Scott Penis wanted The Castro to be more like the fictional heteronormative town of Mayberry like he had in New Jersey where he moved here from. Why didn’t the asshole just stay in NJ? That’s not what conservatives do. They go out of their way to move to a place to change it to the way they want it: Conservative. Today, even with few people out, the previous sidewalks would have been difficult to maneuver particularly on the west side of Castro with the fleets of black baby strollers one sees today along with pedestrians (mainly during rush hours) and the occasional wheelchairs. It all makes sense now. I hope that The Holy and Indivisible Trinity (also known as Mr PrEP) is pleased with himself for helping to ruin what was once a bustling queer neighbourhood.

And related to that, the following is a transcript of sorts of a conversation that mi amigo/my friend had with a longtime Castro homeowner recently (December 2019). This homeowner (Larry) just sold his home for the low price of $1.3 MILLION. That’s a low price, considering in Upper Market (up the hill from The Castro) similar homes are selling for over $4 MILLION. (No shortage of stupid people willing to pay that amount of money for some old moldy home). He was just glad that it sold for that. Yes, here in Billionaire Bay — as the Bay Area is now referred to where the “haves” and the “have nots” live right next to each other — some people are really that foolish to pay that amount of dinero/money for some old moldy home. And some of these homes don’t even come with a garage.

Larry, who is queer and a longtime homeowner, is moving to conservative San Diego because he says Big Tech and the snotty straights have ruined San Francisco. He looked down Castro Street from his home as they were talking and complained about all the baby strollers. It’s a Baby Stroller Kingdom, Larry said. At that particularly moment there were three baby strollers on one corner. “That’s all you see here now. Big Tech — he specifically mentioned G**gle and FB multiple times — have ruined this city and the wealthy straights don’t come over here because The Castro is such a rundown neighbourhood now. (I’d like to point out that The Castro was not a rundown neighbourhood it was a Gay Mecca). When the breeders started moving in, I heard a few queers say, “There goes the neighbourhood.” You got that right, fellow queers.

Yes, The Castro looks nothing like it did when it was a bustling Gay Mecca. It’s hard to spot a queer boy here now. And look at all the closed store fronts. jesus fucking christ. What a mess.

The (drab) conservatives ruined The Castro. I hope the assholes are pleased now. They have what they wanted so why the sour faces? The queers are mostly gone. The snotty, unfriendly straights/breeders — him/tall, her/short — are here with their black baby strollers. Isn’t that what the conservative assholes wanted? So again, why the sour looks on their conservative faces? Because they don’t have any business now? The queers were their base, so they wanted their base gone and now that they are gone, what do they have? Nothing. And that’s exactly what the fuckers deserve. You deserve what you get, you fucking conservative trash, because of your usual damnable short-sightedness and your bigotry towards queers. They never did like the Gay Mecca; a gay area of a city. They wanted the gay area gone. So fuck off all of you, except Rock Hard and Urban Flowers. To my knowledge, they opposed all of this and the sanitising of The Castro.

Unfortunately Larry has changed his former “progressive” views. Like many other queers today, he now sounds like a rabid conservative talking about how he hates “the bums” moving in and taking over, although he used both the words “bums” and “homeless.” He seemed to be using them interchangeably. The wealthy (homeowners) — with their Class Warfare Agenda — typically love to scapegoat the less-fortunate and the homeless, whom they despise. Do these people pretend to be Christians? Clearly, their wealth and elitist status blinds them from living their life following the teachings of Jesus. I’m an atheist but I always enjoy shoving their religious hypocrisy in their faces. But Larry’s thinking now matches the thinking we’ve heard from your average hateful Castro homeowner. Do they forget that they were once not homeowners? Do these basura still pretend to be “liberals” and “progressives” when they want the homeless deleted? And the hypocrisy with Larry is that this is the same guy that hired homeless people about 10 years ago to work on his property. Now he calls them “bums” which is right out of the Conservative Playbook ScriptTM.

Even though Larry admitted that he never goes to bars, he said, “There are no gay bars left in San Francisco.” What he means by that is that the few gay bars remaining now (December 2019) have many straight women hanging out in them trying to pick up guys. One might ask: Have all the straight bars throughout The City closed? Is that why women feel the need to hang out in gay bars to try to pick up guys? No, the straight bars haven’t closed their doors en masse. They are still open so these straight women could go to the straight bars — but here in the Century of Insanity where “stupid in in” — the breeders want it all. They’ve taken over the gay bars too. That’s what these bars have become. I’ve heard the same from other queer guys. An acquaintance of mine told me sometime ago that he now avoids The Castro bars because of all the girls in the bars. But Larry’s main hatred was for Big Tech that has ruined San Francisco. Larry also fails to remember how the conservative merchants in The Castro and gay corporate prude Scott Penis sanitised The Castro so the neighbourhood would be pleasing to the prudish breeders who were moving in. The Castro has long had a rich history of nudity on occasion yet the sex stores were forced by the San Francisco Police Department to cover up any nudity displayed in their windows to “protect the children.” That’s funny, I never saw any children near the sex store windows. Children didn’t hang out in The Castro. The only time I saw children is when they were walking with their parents and if parents can’t control their children and where they look, that’s their problem. It was really the prudish children in adult bodies (their parents) who had a problem with nudity. Fucking breeder assholes.

Each time that mi amigo tried to present the full picture of why The Castro has died, Larry said, “Yeah, well that too” but each time he tried to miminise what mi amigo had suggested in favour of Larry’s pet-peeve conservative talking points from his Class War Agenda.

Mi amigo asked Larry where are queers moving and Larry gave the same answer we’ve heard from others: They’re moving all over the place. They’re not going to any one place, other than back in the closet. They’re going where they can find cheap rent. He didn’t seem to put two and two together. With Larry, everything is about money: He failed to understand that high rents and corporate and merchant greed are a major factor in The Castro dying. Greed has killed San Francisco. Larry tried to lay it all on the homeless and “the bums” yet out of the other side of his mouth he laid it on Big Tech. Note to Larry: Big Tech is the millionaires and billionaires, not the homeless. He said, “You should come down here at night. When I go out to move my car it’s like a war zone out here and down there in The Castro. Mi amigo says the same is true during the day which is why he avoids The Castro in the daytime. He says it doesn’t feel safe where he walks on Market Street. Larry said: At night they have to close the gay bar — the Twin Peaks Bar — on the corner sometimes and ask everyone to leave because of “the bums” going in there. He said all of his friends had left the City. And he pointed to one of the longtime greasy-spoon restaurants and said “those guys are leaving in about a year.” (Me speaking now): Well, just as well. They were part of the anti-homeless campaign and I watched them lock up chairs and tables in the Jane Warner Plaza so that no one could sit there, targeting the homeless. Mi amigo told me while writing this article that there were no tables or chairs there at all in the Plaza when he was talking with Larry.

There’s another problem coming: When these breeders with children who moved into the barrio/neighbourhood start moving to the suburbs — as many breeders do after they pump out children — and where they should have moved in the first place because of their children, that’s when a real estate crash can happen, until more breeders without children move here. It’s a cycle with breeders. They move to San Francisco to breed — is that to shove their breeder sexuality in our (queer) faces? — and then they move to the suburbs when their children get to a certain age. We’ve seen this repeatedly with breeders. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Why don’t these breeder idiots have the intelligence to move to the suburbs to begin with since that’s where most of them ultimately end up? But you can’t fix stupid, so don’t try!

Will there be a death of Big Tech? I doubt it based on the phone zombie addiction and many people’s narcissistic need for constant attention, but it can’t come soon enough. What will the death of Big Tech do to San Francisco? Well, some people warned former mayor Ed Lee and his billionaire corporate owner about “putting all your eggs in one basket” because when The City is saturated with one industry and that industry collapses, what happens to The City?

Today, San Francisco seems like a very angry City at times with cases of road rage and breeder dysfunctions. Nearly every time mi amigo goes on walks he tells me about one or more fist fights or cases of road rage he saw.

Will San Francisco become more affordable again? I. Don’t. Think. So. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Will queers move back here in the future to create a new Gay Mecca, say sometime between 2020-2030? Mi amigo keeps asking that question when this topic comes up but I don’t think he’s serious. I don’t see that happening at all. I don’t see anyone moving back here, especially considering the heteronormative mindset of many/most queers today. Most seem to have been brainwashed with that “Gay people can live anywhere now” meme. When in reality with the rise in hate crimes, gay people can’t live anywhere now even in the closet. It seems to me that since most queers appear to be back in the closet especially in the suburbs and beyond, they would have no interest in moving to a new Gay Mecca (San Francisco) and coming back out of the closet.

For anyone who said years ago that they thought that The Castro would be the only gay area/Gay Mecca in the US to survive, they were clearly wrong and engaging in wishful-thinking. Here at the end of 2019, there are a few queers still here, but The Castro is now mostly a (homophobic at times) and snotty Breeder Mecca. Today, queers are spread all over the place and mostly living closeted lives from what I can tell. Queer activism is dead. Apparently many queers think that “all has been accomplished” when there is no shortage of problems within the so-called “queer community.”

Gay bars have closed or are closing due to people’s phone addiction and sex sites such as Gr*nd*. There’s no shortage of problems that queers could and should be addressing/protesting en masse today, but unlike the decades of the now-dead Gay and Lesbian Rights Movement where queers were in a centralised place (The Castro, West Hollywood, Chelsea) and had instant on-call protests — one of the many benefits of Gay Meccas — that’s not the case at all to day. These days, The Castro hates on protests and protesters of any kind. Or is this hate mostly coming from the wealthy and elitist homeowners? Not sure, but it’s been going on for probably 20 years now. It was at least that long ago where mi amigo and I walked down Castro Street with a protest sign after we came back from a protest at San Francisco’s Civic Center, and we were subjected to ridicule and hate near the corner of 18th and Castro. It scared us really because we never expected that. I felt threatened as if one or more of the three supposedly queer guys was going to jump me. They bullied us for our signs as we stood waiting for the light to change. I believe our signs said we were supporting Jerry Brown for governor. But that was when we first realised The Castro had or was changing to very conservative. The Castro seems to prefer the establishment status-quo, which I can’t relate to at all, which is probably why I rarely feel comfortable in The Castro and I’ve never felt completely welcomed there. Chau.—el barrio rosa