Change Gay Pride to Gay Discreet

The Fucked Up Gay Community
A Guest Opinion

El 20 de junio de 2014: Revisiting this article: Hola, this article below (a Guest Opinion from an e-mail sent to me) was written back en febrero/in February 2014 and even though that seems awhile back, the article applies even more so today than it did when it was written because things have gotten worse since! Being “discreet” and a gay closet case and ashamed of one’s gay sexuality has increased since then, based on my observations and the observations of people I’ve talked with. Gay guys in Manhattan (NYC), for example, write about being “discreet.” Why? Who the hell in Manhattan cares what a gay guy does with another guy in an apartment somewhere, or who would even see them? By their words, they seem to think they live in a small hamlet somewhere with busy-bodies and snooping eyes. But they’re in Manhattan. A guy could scream on a street corner in Manhattan, “I’m about to have sex with this guy” and no one would even pay any attention to them. You’re in Manattan, not some hick town. jesus fucking christ, what is wrong with people?! There’s got to be something in the water. And they’re ashamed of having sex with another guy so they use words such as “discreet” and “DL (down low)” and “not out.” You’re not out in Manhattan, of all places? Loco. That’s as bad as the fucked up closet cases in San Francisco’s Castro barrio. What happened to Gay Pride? Gay Pride appears to be dead; it’s really just a corporate commercial now as the so-called “gay community” has become conservative, to be as much like fucked up heterosexuals as possible (when did THAT become THE goal?). Chau.—rosa barrio
Related: Gay Culture is Dead in 2014

El 4 de febrero de 2014.  Hola.  Below is an e-mail I received in the past week:

To: pink barrio.

I owe you an apology. You don’t allow comments on your site and because I wasn’t allowed to comment I sent you a very angry email after reading two of the pieces on your site:

1. The “Discreet” Gay Guys
2. What’s with the “straight-acting” and “straight-appearing” in gay personals?

I don’t know if you received my email. I’m reading my copy of it now and it was very hateful of me and I wrote it from a place of ignorance and anger. I was living in my own space and not seeing what you see through your eyes. I didn’t want to see the world through your eyes I now realize. My partner who also read your pieces pointed this out to me. I was living in another time. Since then I’ve spent hours on [Ed. site name removed, the initials are CL] and I have a clear understanding now of what you wrote in those pieces. I’m talking about the craze and mania with the word discreet in gay personal ads on that site. I read an ad last night. It said, “Just got back from the bars. I’m discreet and wanna keep it that way, looking to suck dick in my room and get sucked.” The dude gave his body stats in his ad. He lives in San Francisco. No one cares that he wants to suck dick in his room or get sucked so what’s up with needing to be discreet and wanting to keep it that way? I felt like screaming and writing to him but chose not to waste my time with him. He probably wouldn’t have understood. His ad could have been written by a closeted dude out in the sticks with prying eye possibly anti-gay neighbors trying to mind other people’s business. But in San Francisco, who gives a damn what you do in your room? There are hundreds of ads just like that on CL. Everyone being “discreet.” Do they just copy each other? This dude said he just got back from the bars. That doesn’t sound like someone being discreet if you’re in gay bars. I know dudes who lived here during the 1970-1980′s and they say “discreet” was not the way things were done here. Dudes at that time let it all hang out. It was about sexual freedom and the gay rights movement. From where I’m sitting, the gay rights movement has expired except for a little pushing here and there to be like heterosexuals by getting married. This craze with being discreet is puritanical, it’s trying to hide who the person is and it’s going back in the closet. Like you asked, “what is the gay community ashamed of that they need to be discreet?” Do they now think there’s something wrong with being gay, sucking dick or getting sucked? The gay community has become so fucked up in the head. How did this happen? Is it part of that trying to be straight and “assimilate” that you’ve written about? My partner and I just don’t relate to the gay community well anymore. I don’t know what the gay community is trying to become. I think this “assimilation” crap has backfired big time on the gay community. They’ve lost themselves.

Heterosexuals are no better. I read an ad [Ed. on the same site: CL] where the dude said his buddy’s brother got him all horned up and he wants to try something. He’d dig doing oral on another str8 or bi dude. He said he’s str8 here and wants to see where it goes. I thought big deal. Why did he have to say he’s straight? Why didn’t he say “I wanna suck dick.” Period. Why did he have to tack on the straight label? Heterosexuals are even more fucked up in the head. I don’t see gay couples having major fights on the sidewalk like I’m seeing heterosexual couple doing. I’m seeing more and more of that and they get vicious with each other where other people have to come over and try to break it up, intervene and even the cops have to be called on their ass.

With the direction the gay community is going in and their quest to be as much like heterosexuals as possible, they’ll have to change the name of “Gay Pride” to “Gay Discreet”….or “Gay Shame.”

My response: No need to apologise, but muchas gracias. Yes, I did get your e-mail and as you see I’ve made your follow-up e-mail a “Guest Opinion” article. I think people should read that. No, we don’t have comments. I turned them off about a year ago. The reason being that pink barrio was getting so much spam advertising and it was taking too much time for me to delete it all. I appreciate what you wrote and do agree with it (it adds to what I said) and many others will also agree with you, because other people are noticing what appears to be the GLBTQ populace going backwards. Oh and don’t you just love it when someone in their ad refers to themselves as “normal,” or they say they are “looking for a normal guy.” What the fuck is “normal?” That used to be a word that one knew they should not use because of the negative connotations of it and what it implies, but as we go backwards I see that and other out-dated and even chauvinistic language coming back in style. It’s pathetic. It speaks to a society in decline. I’m seeing more and more of that as I monitor the ads too. And as mi amiga/my friend says, “rushing back into the closet.” ¡Sí claro! Chau.—rosa barrio

Related:

Are gays going back in the closet?

The Conservative Gay Heteronormative Populace


Closeted Gays moving into San Francisco’s Castro