Did you know that Queers are free of health problems? They also don’t sleep on mattresses.

Hola a todos. One gets the distinct impression that advertisers think that heterosexuality is somehow threatened these days, although I see no sign of that anywhere I look. Do you? All I see is breeder sexuality (“him and her”) pretty much everywhere I look.

Yet on the television network I monitor in the non-United States — the network is based in Chicago — their commercials consists of pharma ads, ads for prescription drugs intended for various type of medical problems such as skin rashes, ads for arthritis, ads for Medicare, and ads of other various types. When they show couples, all the commercials are “him and her,” which gives a very dishonest, homophobic and distorted view of our society. By watching these ads, it seems that the straights/breeders have nothing but health/medical problems in their lives because that’s all they ever show in the ads is “him and her.” That’s the impression one gets from these corporate-produced ads. So in that sense, who would want to be straight since all you suffer are any number of health problems?

I wonder if these marketing corporations claim to be “Queer-friendly” in their public relations propaganda? They certainly are not by their heteronormative ads. I’ve yet to see any gay male couples in any of these ads. Or a lesbian couple. And the models used in the ads don’t match what they’re trying to sell to the viewer. They seem oblivious to that. For example, one ad shows a Queer-looking guy — according to my reliable gaydar — with a chick. Both of them are Millenneals. It looks like a “meet my parents” date of sorts where the chick is sitting at home at a table with her parents. They keep looking at the clock and at their watches as if the guy is late. Not a good sign! He finally shows up and meets the parents. All is now happy. Moments later, Mr Closet Case checks the height difference between himself (tall) and her (short) and plays with her nose. Him-tall-dominant and her-short-submissive is required in the Male Patriarchy way of thinking. The ad doesn’t show them kissing but they are presumably a new couple and he’s met her parents — oh wow! — and he was late because of his problems with arthritis? Why is this young couple promoting an arthritis ad? Do Millenneals have arthritis? Then there’s the commercial with three breeder couples. All Millenneals. One guy has to pick the chick up and put her on his shoulder and swirl her around like she’s a Barbie Doll. That’s for another medication. Then there’s the “him and her” couple with a skin rash who look like they couldn’t be happier before the cameras. Then there’s the “unleash your testosterone potential in the bedroom” ad. They use the macho language “Times are Tough. Man Up, Amurrrrrrka.” (Which America are they referring to: North America which the non-United States is part of, or Central America or South America?) The ad of course shows “him and her.” Him-Tall-Dominant and Her-Short-Submissive. Think: the 1940 or 1950s, not 2020. Yes, we have progressed tremendously particularly in corporate advertising. (sarcasm intended). The Queer-looking guy in the pool has to pick up the chick out of the pool to show what a “power fuck” he is in the bedroom. (roll eyes). Then, there’s the “him and her” couple shown jogging together for a kidney supplement. There’s the “him and her” senior couple with hearing loss talking with “the grandchildren” on some new phone. They’ve both been given make-overs with blindly white teeth and her with blond hair in their luxury condo, Dahling. Then there’s the Millennial “him and her” couple (my reliable gaydar tells me he’s gay in real life) pushing a black baby stroller (what else?!) But there’s a cat in the stroller and not a baby. Turns out it’s a commercial for dog food because the “him and her” knock on the door of a female blond Millennial who has a dog. Then there’s the ad for “fitness” equipment being sold. In that ad, everyone lives in homes that have a pool so that one can giggle the fat off one’s big butt just by standing on this thing next to the pool. There’s also the three breeder Millennial white couples — the ubiquitous “him and her” — who all have the same medical condition, and they’re so happy now that they’re taking this stuff that all three “him and her” couples run together holding hands to jump in the lake to make a big splash. Just like children. What are they selling? The medication or breeder sexuality? Then there the psoriasis commercial featuring an abundance of “him and her” couples and a “him and her” barbecue gathering with a plane flying over. They are all giddy with happiness. Several vehicles are shown driving down the highway with “him” driving and “her” as the passenger. She’s cheering — presumably the disappearance of her skin condition? — with her arms flailing in the air towards the sky from their convertible coup. This commercial featured probably around 25 or more “him and her” couple. That’s a guess. There’s no time to count them. It wasn’t a cheap commercial to make. “Him and her” were shown at the grill, not just him. No, she had to be there as well. This ad was saturated with “him and her” heteronormative “you must be straight to be normal” brainwashing. What does any of that have to do with psoriasis?

Is heterosexuality so threatened in our society that advertisers feel they must go to all extremes to promote “him and her” breeder sexuality? I wasn’t aware that heterosexuality was at all threatened — I see no sign of that anywhere — since that’s all I see anywhere is “him and her,” including in San Francisco.

Then there’s the ad for female incontinence. That ad also features “him and her.” If I were to see him on the street, I would say he’s a Queer guy that has gone back in the closet and is now with a female. And that’s what he reminds me of in this commercial as they walk arm-in-arm, then they lean on the railing and look out over the water, then they have a warm embrace. It’s so heart-warming to see “him and her” head-to-head over an incontinence medication. I guess she didn’t have to go pee at the time of filming! Are you Queer and concerned about Hepatitis C? You don’t need to be based on the images they show of the people who have Hep C? It’s all “him and her” and the camera shows her hand going down to put her arm around his waist just above his butt. So I’m comforted to know that only breeders get Hepatitis C, supposedly. I suspect this will be a surprise to some Queers. It’s a pity that breeders — based on corporate advertising — are so afflicted with various medical problems that supposedly Queers never have to deal with since there are no images of “him and him” or even the more-acceptable (to the bigots) “her and her” in any advertisement. But I thought we were told that “gay is now mainstream?” Yeah right.

Then on another channel: Don’t Queers sleep on mattresses? They don’t in the world of homophobic mattress manufacturers because all one sees plopped on beds is “him and her” wearing pajamas.

The curious thing about all this is that this network that this article is about shows programming that the Medicare audience grew up with (that’s why there are extensive Medicare ads on the network). And advertisers must think that this audience — of mostly “seniors” or “boomers” — is quite homophobic, mainly white and bigoted/prejudiced because of their conservative commercials. Most of the ads feature Millenneals which have nothing to do with “seniors.” A Millennial needs arthritis medication? WTF? In the mind of these homophobic advertisers, there are no Queers in the world. Just perfectly happy breeder couples with many medical problems.

Of course if any Queer couple were shown, they would show a lesbian couple and not a gay male couple and that’s because two women are considered “more acceptable” to prejudiced bigoted people. That’s become predictable, even during corporate “Pride” month. The corporates can’t bring themselves to show two guys holding hands or kissing. The site of two guys showing affection with each other must really repulse the corporates/conservatives.

The network also shows a HIV drug that’s being sued for kidney failure and other ailments. During the entire ad, there was no images shown of “him and him” couples, or one guy twirling the other guy around in the air, or the two of them jumping into a lake, or the two of them at a barbecue. In fact, they showed no couple at all. Why is that?

But this and other networks don’t mind showing us when two guys are being violent with each other any other time in their programming.

These days, when a Queer male couple is shown during corporate “Pride” month, all one sees is a split second that it’s two guys. Then the camera goes down to their lower legs and shows them walking together. If they were “him and her” the camera would show us everything: him holding her hand and the two in an obnoxious fawning breeder embrace to show us just how heterosexual and “normal” they are. Oh give it a rest!

I should point out that some straight guys say they watch lesbian porn — they like watching two females play with each other’s pussy — but they don’t watch gay male porn because they don’t like to watch “two faggots get it on” (their words). Well aren’t two lesbians getting it on the same as “two faggots getting it on” in the broad Queer sense of the word? Since we all fall under the Queer category. They are both same-gender couples. Duh.

And in society’s fucked up mind: It seems like two Queer guys or a Queer guy in an image or movie shown is always the person going after a child. It’s never a straight guy going after a child. Note: Most men who molest children are not gay: ” …[M]ost men who molest little boys are not gay. Only 21 percent of the child molesters we studied who assault little boys were exclusively homosexual. Nearly 80 percent of the men who molested little boys were heterosexual or bisexual and most of these men were married and had children of their own.” [Source].

But back to this network, it’s always the required “him and her” in these ads even when “him” looks like an obvious Queer boy like I saw while writing this. It was a mattress commercial. The female he was lying on the bed with looked more masculine than he did. He looked like a nelly-pooh as they used to be called.

The impression that these homophobic, heteronormative ads gives is that 1) Queers have no skin problems or medical problems what-so-ever, and Queers don’t buy mattresses (only straights do that and they always wear pajamas. Yeah right!). These ads show the world that there are no Queers in the world, just perfectly happy breeders, despite their many medical problems.

Then there’s the peculiar ad for a prostate supplement. That ad shows four Black people (3 females and 1 guy). I think it was intended to show a heterosexual family, but who course, who else?! I didn’t know that females had a prostate! Two of these people had grey hair and there was a baby and a younger female. By the expressions of elation on all of their faces, they had just been told that they had won millions of dollars. That’s the facial expression for a prostate supplement?

Oh there’s also a cottage cheese ad featuring — as you can probably guess — “him and her” sitting at a table in someone’s large home. It almost looks like a restaurant with the multiple tables and center bar. All “him and her” couples standing around and seated at tables. With one couple, the camera makes sure we see his large left hand wedding ring. Is he married to a guy or the female he’s sitting with? Since most gay male couples wear their wedding rings on the same finger so you never know if he’s married to a female or a guy. Is it their intention to deceive or confuse by doing that? In this case, I would guess that the guy is married to the female he’s sitting with, or one is supposed to think that.

The network also promotes an anti-aging product with another “him and her” couple. A woman can reverse the signs of aging by running on the beach with a guy. Well that’s what they show. The anti-aging item is for a female. Apparently guys are not concerned with anti-aging gimmicks. The “him and her” couple running on the beach were rather young so I don’t know why they would be trying to reverse the signs of aging. But I suspect the marketing department doesn’t think that anyone will think about any of this stuff. They’ll just order it and expect to become instantly young(er). I guess only “him and her” breeder couples are vain when it comes to the aging process.

Oh, need a sun awning? A young, white breeder couple (him and her of course, who else?) promotes sun awnings on the network. He too looks like a Queer boy to us. When mi amigo first saw that ad, he asked: Who is that Queer boy with a female? I said: Yes, I thought the same. Someone might be thinking: You see every guy as Queer. No, I don’t. And if you’ve read some of my other articles you will know that’s not true. I have said that some guys look straight to me and others are questionable/borderline. With some guys I find it hard to tell what they are. It’s just that I focus on the guys who — according to my reliable gaydar — look Queer to me and are closet cases with a female.

There’s also the beet supplement ad which mostly features single people. But when they do show a couple it’s, of course, “him and her.” This supplement — like all these other products I’ve listed — are not for Queer people. These products are only for straight (mostly white) couples or straight singles. But you must be straight. Period. With the beet supplement, there’s the supposed dad — I guess that’s who he is supposed to be — that has to twirl a child around on his shoulders. What does that have to do with a beet supplement? Does it mean that one has to find a child to twirl on one’s shoulders to get rid of all that “energy” that one will get from taking this beet supplement? If one is not a parent, I guess this supplement is only for areas where there are children living, to have a child available for twirling on one’s shoulder. My question is: Why not just eat good-quality beets? Instead of some red powder that you dissolve in water. Personally, I would choose steaming organically-grown beets and eat them in moderation.

Upon reflection, this is 2020. Not the 1940s. I would expect these ads back in the 1940s or 1950s. So this is the so-called “progress” that the now-dead Gay and Lesbian Rights Movement made. So much for that “gay is now mainstream” bull shit that I used to hear some delusional Queers around here spouting. Although I no longer hear them spewing that stuff anymore. Perhaps they came out of their denial and wishful-thinking? Or perhaps they started watching this television network and realised how delusional they really were?

Based on all of these heteronormative and “this product will solve all your problems” ads, I’m just glad to know that Queers don’t have any of these health problems. That’s extremely comforting to know, even though these bigoted ads give a very narrow world view of what our society really is about. Chau.—el barrio rosa

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