UPDATE TO THIS ARTICLE (El 29 de noviembre de 2016/the 29th of November 2016): It’s best to read the update to this article here: San Francisco’s Straight Mecca (November 2016). Or, if you’re just here to jack off to the pics, that’s cool. Have a good time. Chau.—el barrio rosa/pink barrio
UPDATE TO THIS ARTICLE (El 28 de julio de 2016/the 28th of July 2016): Things have really changed around here since I wrote this article. Is anyone talking about waking up with a dick in their mouth anywhere these days? I never hear that now. Not in conservative and sanitised San Francisco. This City has done a 180 with techie gentrification. This City is now a Baby Factory. This place (The Castro) has been so sanitised and stripped of what it once was with the help of the now-conservative GLBTQ community which galls me. Mi amigo/My friend changed gyms for a couple of reasons: He was going to what was known as the gay gym and he left there because of a large fee hike and because it was a very unfriendly/snooty gym and becoming more and more “straight.” And the gay guys there were trying to be more and more heteronormative and acting like tough-guy jocks. Obnoxious. His new gym has some Queer guys in it but as he tells me, “Nobody looks at anybody. They’re all phone tech zombies. And the guys I always thought were gay and came down here from the gay gym I’ve heard them talking about getting married to a female (trying to pretend to be “straight”) to fit in with the invading “straights” population. Pretty fucked up. One of the reasons for gay areas in major cities was to give gay guys a safe place where they wouldn’t need to feel like this and could be open and honest about who they are as a Queer person. But that becomes less and less the case when the area becomes more and more “straight” with some anti-gay “straights” moving in. Mi amigo is hearing more and more of that (guys he’s always thought were gay talking about marrying a female). That story has repeated itself thousands of times over generations with gay guys marrying females, squeezing out babies and then bam: “Honey, I’m gay and always have been. I’m moving in with my new boyfriend. Meet you in court over the house and kids.” Mi amigo is also seeing guys he thought were gay all these years making out with females on Market Street (and in the gym), again, trying to be all heteronormative to be like the obnoxious in-your-face him-tall/her-short, mandatory hand-holding “straights” who are taking over. As of this writing, he’s seeing less of that from the past because he thinks the gym has lost about 3/4 of their membership as people have stopped taking care of themselves and stopped going to the gym. Here in the US, “fat and lazy” is in, including here in San Francisco. The gym thing was just a long time fad here. It would appear that many gay guys are going back in the closet in San Francisco and elsewhere, running from the word “gay” and calling themselves “WM” (white male) and at some point the now-dead Gay Rights’ Movement will have to start all over again. Pathetic. Chau.—el barrio rosa
Hola. ¿Qué Tal? Have you ever woken up with a dick in your mouth? I can’t say that I have. I think it would be rather startling, don’t you? I mean you wake up—or you’re trying to—and in this fog of waking up you slowly realise that you have—what feels like—something thick and with human skin in your mouth and your tongue is having trouble moving about and you don’t want to bite down because you don’t know what’s in your mouth.
I was talking with mi amigo yesterday and over the years one of the most common things (lies?) he’s heard Queer guys say at his gym has been the proverbial, “I woke up with a dick in my mouth.” (Yeah, sure you did, muchacho).
The “dick in the mouth” story is told after Queer boys in San Francisco have been to one of their many non-stop parties (parTying is their occupation and addiction) where they get drunk and don’t remember any of it. Well what’s the point of that? But that’s what much of the gay populace has become, which is why I no longer relate to much of the so-called “gay community” at all. (Well, there’s really no “community” or “community” feel at all anymore). The so-called “gay community” has become rather pathetic. Other than parTying, getting drunk and being bent over squinting at the biggest mind controlling device there is (also known as the dumbphone/smartphone 24/7 with their intense addiction to that, they don’t seem to have much of a life at all. As another Queer blogger I know says: It’s rather pathetic what my fellow Queers have become. Yes it is.
Mi amigo has heard this “dick in the mouth” story countless times. He heard it again last weekend at his gym, which is why I’m writing about it. He told me he went into the gym and looked around and every guy he saw in there had his head down fucking with their mind-controlling device/stupidphones. Everyone of them. Clearly, they were working out their thumbs, but not much else. Then he went over to another part of the gym (a few guys were over there and not glued to their dumbphone) and he overheard this guy tell another guy that his dick was in the other guy’s mouth when he woke up and the other guy’s dick was in his mouth. Does anybody believe that? I suppose it’s possible, but really! Then the guy proceeded to tell the guy he was telling the story to/lying to about how drunk he got and they both let out this loud, obnoxious laugh as if getting drunk and waking up with a dick in your mouth—and supposedly not remembering any of it—was the funniest thing they had ever heard. Even though as I said, this “dick in the mouth” story has been repeated probably thousands of times by guys in this same gym. These are supposed adults I’m talking about, not adolescents. I thought all that bragging about getting drunk and not remembering any of it ended after the teenage years, no?
A personal note to “dick in the mouth” guys: Just like internet trolls, you need new material desperately, muchachos. That dick in the mouth story has more than run its course. It’s predictable and at this point unbelievable, because it supposedly happens too often. So let me see …Oh I know, you could say that you woke up with the other guy’s fist up your ass and your fist up his ass. How’s that? You could replace your dick in the mouth story with that story. That happens all the time too, doesn’t it?! At least that would add variety to your stale and monotonous, “I woke up with…” repertoire. So give that a try. Chau.—el barrio rosa