Hola a todos. Mi amigo/My friend and I watched an outstanding performance of the Rachmaninov Symphony No. 2. This performance took place earlier in 2020, pre-COVID.
At the end of the performance, it was the usual predictable and expected routine: the conductor walked off stage. Then 10 seconds later he was back. Why did he leave the stage to begin with? He then acknowledged some of the musicians who had solo parts within the piece just played. He shook the hand of the First and Second Concertmasters. Then he walked off the stage again. Then he came back. Why did he leave the stage a second time?
Mi amigo said: How ridiculous, this back and forth from the stage to the stage door. All of this endless applause and walking off and on the stage takes quite a bit of time — usually between ten and twenty minutes for the whole process — that could be better used for playing another piece. More music. Isn’t that what it’s supposed to be about? Music? Rather than the ritual of applause? Or is it supposed to be about the ritual of applause? It makes one think that the audience feels “I paid to applaud for up to 20 minutes or more, it’s included in my ticket price so I’ll stand here and applaud as long as it takes.” Why? What a bunch of idiots!
Of course most conservatives would defend this ridiculous tradition as they defend all ludicrous traditions. They’re the same idiots who’ll have large gatherings and mock the health guidelines during the COVID-19 pandemic — thinking they are above it all — and then wonder why people there got sick and or died. Although upon reflection, during the COVID pandemic, most of the fake-progressives and fake-liberals I know have violated the health guidelines while pretending to devoutly follow the guidelines. Hypocrites.
Which leads me to ask, regarding the ritual of applause following a performance:
Is that why the audience insists on sitting there or standing (in the case of a standing ovation) after a classical music performance watching the monotonous in (the stage door) and out (the stage door) of the conductor and or soloists, in and out, in and out, in and out. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I’m talking about where the conductor and or soloist(s) parade off the stage and go in that side door. They stand there in that room off stage for about 5-10 seconds and then come back out for more bows. Then they go back to that room, pause, turn around and come back out for more bows. This ritual is one of the most ludicrous traditions — it’s as silly as one of the other traditions where a pianist (who plays the most notes of any musician) must play from memory — of the classical music performance genre that I’ve seen. All other musicians (who usually play one note at a time or sing one note) are allowed to use their score if they wish. The audience doesn’t seem to tire of applauding for 20+ minutes, which makes one ask: Does the audience consider the applause part of the ticket price? Is that why these idiots sit or stand there in the audience and keep applauding? “I paid to applaud.”
In an intelligent society not marred with insane traditions, after a performance, all musicians including the conductor would remain on stage briefly and bow occasionally. No one would leave the stage. Various soloists would then be acknowledged for bows, the conductor would take a final bow. Then the First Concertmaster would lead the Orchestra off the stage. If there’s a Chorus, the Chorus would begin to file off the stage as well. That’s the cue for the audience to begin leaving. So a few moments after the performance, the stage would be cleared and that signals to the applause-happy audience to leave and go home. No need for the endless 20+ minutes of applause ritual and for musicians wearing out the stage floor walking back and forth to that stage door.
If flowers are given following the performance, they’re given to the conductor and all soloists. Each musician graciously keeps his or her own flowers. Period. And guys: Don’t be an ungrateful jerk and give your flowers to the closest female after they were just given to you. Do you normally give other gifts away (particularly in public view), Mr Ungracious? Note to sexist guys: Don’t give your flowers to the closest females thinking you’re too macho to receive or hold flowers. Who knew that innocent flowers were so intimidating to some of these male musicians with their fragile male ego?
But the ritual of bows and applause seem to be completely out of control (pre-COVID). With the nonstop applause, does one’s hands started tingling after awhile? And the performers are intelligent people. They understand that most people in the audience enjoyed their performance and they appreciate that of course — and most musicians of that caliber are very quick-minded people — so there’s no need for endless applause and parading back and forth on and off stage. “We get that you liked it, now go home.”
Who started this silly tradition anyway? Was that the Holy and Indivisible Trinity god Franz Liszt as well? It seems that so much of what is done today in the name of tradition is attributed to god Liszt, especially when it comes to piano performance. “Per insane tradition, all pianists must play from memory because that’s what god Liszt did.” (roll eyes). Insanity. Frankly, I don’t give a damn what Liszt did. This is late 2020, not the 1800s. The boy could play apparently, but other than that I don’t put him up on any damn pedestal to be worshipped and glorified….What’s next? That god Liszt, “has spoken through the prophets.” (think: The Nicene Creed). Chau.—el barrio rosa