Note to dumb Millennials: Black clothing absorbs heat

Don’t you remember this from first or second grade? That dark colours absorb heat and make you hotter?

Hola a todos. I swear, you can’t fix stupid. With few exceptions to what I’m about to say, apparently the Millennial generation never learned that black clothing absorbs heat. Duh. For those who don’t know, most Millennials have a conformist “uniform” that they wear 24/7, 365 days a year. They have been brainwashed that they must wear all-black clothing, usually jeans or tights and tight-fitting shirts or lingerie. If not all-black, it’s black and grey. They look very conservative, drab and boring, and usually with a nasty snarl on their face. With few exceptions, the Millennial generation looks very unhappy and from what I’ve read about them they blame anybody but themselves for their problems and all the problems en el mundo/in the world. Wearing all-black (or black and grey) every day? Who would want to look like that? With all the colours in the world they pick drab black and grey? I see them and wonder what funeral they just came from. Funeral and casket colours: All black for funerals and the casket is grey. So even when it’s blazing hot in San Francisco, these stupid Millennials can be seen wearing all-black clothing in the hot sun, and because most of them seem to have had a lobotomy at some point in their relatively short existence, these pathetic people seem oblivious to the heat. You can’t fix stupid. Most of these people, we suspect, are the techie trash who live under illusions that they are supposed geniuses and “a gift to the world.” Oh get over your fucking selves, you assholes. Related: What’s more difficult? Tech training or music training? Fact: No genius would wear all-black in the baking sun. That’s the indicator of an idiot.

So I thought it might be helpful to these morons if I wrote this: Black clothing absorbs heat. That’s something I was taught in elementary school. But apparently, these self-absorbed and self-entitled Millennial trash never learned that. So if you want to be even hotter than it really is in the blazing sun, wear all-black. Being stupid will not protect you. And since they are all about conformity, I suspect they will keep wearing all-black clothing in the baking sun because conformity is more important to these shallow and superficial people than their own personal comfort. As for my describing them as shallow and superficial, I say that based on hearing them speak. If you’ve had the unfortunate experience of hearing a Millennial talk, you know what I mean. They are some of the most stupid-sounding people you’ll hear anywhere and they don’t talk about anything of substance. It’s usually shallow, dysfunctional shit. Or how her phone didn’t get charged. In the era of COVID-19, these Millennial trash never forget their phone but they forget their face covering. I guess they think that phone will protect them from coronavirus. Clearly, they have their priorities in order (sarcasm intended) here in the Century of Insanity. The Millennials are the group often without any genuine social skills, the words “hello” and “excuse me” are not in their vocabulary. And they are quite ageist. The Millennials are the ones who say the word “like” every-other-word, and they talk as fast as possible in a very robotic, unnatural, unmusical, clipped manner with many words grunted out rather than spoken intelligently. Hearing them speak I’ve frequently asked myself: What did s/he just say? It seems like a completely different language and style of speech. I don’t know how they hold jobs speaking like that, like, like, like, like, like. And like you like can’t like fix like stupid like. Chau.—el barrio rosa