Hola a todos. 29 October 2019: As I’m writing this, a guy is being interviewed on my television. He has a left hand fourth finger wedding ring. Is he married to a female or to a guy? You don’t know. And that’s the problem with queers wearing their wedding rings on their left hand fourth finger which traditionally is the finger that breeders wear their wedding rings on. My reliable gaydar tells me this guy is gay/queer especially after hearing him talk. But another part of me says: He could be in the closet and married to a female and he’s been “womanised” which makes him come off as more feminine. He’s not wearing a sign that reads, “I’m gay and very out and proud.” Whereas if he were wearing his wedding ring on the right hand fourth finger, that leaves no doubt that he’s queer and married to his boyfriend/partner. I would then know that he’s married to a guy.
“Gay and Lesbian Marriage. Instead of wearing wedding bands on their left hands, gay and lesbian couples often choose to wear rings on their right hands instead. Within gay and lesbian communities, the right-handed ring is an instantly recognizable marker of a monogamous relationship, and even marriage within the states that have legalized it.”
That’s why I refer to this as Wedding Ring Deception. See here and here. Are you a guy and married to your boyfriend? Do you want to be thought of as straight? Do you want people who don’t know you or your sexual orientation to think you’re straight? If so, why? If not, then why are you wearing your wedding bans on your left hand fourth finger? Again, that’s traditionally the finger that breeders/straights wear their wedding rings on, or have you not thought of that? And even if you and your boyfriend are together in public, many people in our society would see your left hand wedding rings and assume your wives are not with you at the moment because they wouldn’t even think of gay marriage or that queer couples can get married, especially if they oppose gay marriage. Maybe you’re thinking: “My boyfriend and I wear our wedding rings on the left hand fourth finger because our queer relationship is no different than that of a straight couple.” Well, your relationship shouldn’t be seen as any different than that of the breeders but the reality is that it is to many prejudiced and bigoted people. And it’s delusional and living with wishful-thinking to think otherwise in our extremely heteronormative society where images of “him and her” are shoved in our faces 24/7, 365 days a year. The Reality: You’ll never be like the breeders in the public’s bigoted/homophobic mind because of society’s intense homophobia which is getting worse worldwide if you’ve been paying attention especially for gay guys, and especially in the current political climate. (Related: Anti-gay violence 2019. Also: Homophobic hate crime: Beaten-up for being gay: “A BBC 5 Live investigation found the number of hate crime reports across the UK more than doubled in the last five years, to over 13,000.”). Lesbians are now more acceptable because “that’s what girls do.” (roll eyes) As a gay guy yourself, and if you’re not with your partner, why would you want for someone to think you’re married to a woman when they see your wedding ban? And if someone says, “Oh I see you’re married.” You respond: “Yes,” without clarifying: “To my boyfriend.” So the impression you will have left is that you’re married to a female. Is that what you want to do? If so, it sounds like some gay shame going on there. And again — this cannot be overstated — gay marriage/same gender marriage is too new historically speaking for anyone to remember that queer couples can now get married. Instead, most people will assume when they see your left hand wedding ring, “He’s got a wife” or “He’s got a girl.” Is that what you want people to think of you, rather than standing up for the so-called “gay community?” Or do you enjoy being heteronormative? What I think when I see a gay guy — according to my reliable gaydar — with a left hand wedding ring is a closet case married to a female because of all the closet cases I see today. It’s as if most queers are now back in the closet. I’ve had guys write me who have read this page and they say, “I’m married.” I’m thinking: To whom? I become confused. They don’t specify “to a guy” or “to a woman.” Why? Because it’s assumed that he’s married to a female per tradition. See what I mean? And that’s what will be assumed when someone sees a queer boy’s left hand wedding ring. Maybe you’re asking: Well where should I wear my wedding ban? On the right hand fourth finger because that’s not traditionally the finger that breeders wear their wedding bans on, at least in the US. I wanted to bring this up because, again, I see lots of gay guys who my gaydar tells me are gay/queer and I look and there’s a wedding ring on their left hand fourth finger which means: 1) he’s a closet case married to a female, or 2) a gay guy married to a guy but who wants people to think he’s straight and married to a woman and he’s living with gay shame despite being married to a guy. Mi amigo/My friend confirmed this. He told me he sees lots of guys on a daily basis in nonsexual U-toob videos who his gaydar tells him are queer (another closet case) and they too have a left hand wedding ring and these guys talk about their wife or girlfriend and she’s sometimes in the videos. To me, when I see a queer boy with a left hand wedding ring I now become confused. I think: We’ll, he’s either: A closet case with a female, or married to a guy which most people won’t remember is even legally possible these days. The public has a very short memory. There are closeted gay couples out there who are married to each other and they don’t want anyone to know. Because again, gay marriage — which I think most people have completely forgotten about and don’t remember that it’s even possible — is much too new for the average person to even consider that a guy could be married to another guy/his boyfriend, especially for people who think that “marriage should be between a man and a woman.” (roll eyes). Then, here in the Century of Insanity, there are the gay guys who worked hard for gay marriage and then in the end married females to please their homophobic family! Chau.—el barrio rosa