“Straights” come to the Castro to cheat

Las flores rosas

Las flores rosas

El 10 de noviembre de 2013.  Hola.  If someone in a heterosexual relationship suspects their spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend of cheating on them and they’re “late at the office,” or “have to work late tonight for the extra money,” would they expect that their partner is really over in the former “gay mecca” (Castro barrio) cheating on them? Well that’s likely where they are and it certainly explains what I and many others have been seeing in San Francisco’s Castro barrio for months now.

A local resident wrote an article for us awhile back and said that it seemed like there was a “straight” dating service in the Castro and one of the requirements for this dating service was for the newly-met “straight” couple to go to Castro/Market and have a passionate make-out scene there. In other words, look as if you’re meeting for the first time, and that’s exactly how many of these “straight” couples look (as if they are meeting for the first time.) Not because there’s a “straight” dating service in the Castro—I’m not aware one exists—but because the heterosexual couple met online and their first date is in the Castro, where they would be least suspected (of cheating on someone.)

I’ve created this list of “Straight” cheating indicators and I think it’s pretty accurate:

1. Both Male and Female often in dark suits/ties and office clothing, but others can be seen wearing anything really. It’s clearly a case of “Honey, I’m working late at the office tonight.”

2. Overly passionate (i.e. can’t wait to get laid; let’s go fuck) Male and Female make-out sessions especially at Castro/Market near the GLBTQ rainbow flag and near the entrance to Harvey Milk Plaza.

3. Always walking hand-in-hand or variations of this such as:
a. She’s walking one-half step behind him as the submissive little obedient female. (The Woman’s Movement is completely dead by all indications.) It looks the same as when someone walks their dog (she’s behind him…WTF? Why are they not side-by-side as equals? Is he superior to you, la muchacha?) She’s looking up at him with raptured, limpid, gazing eyes when they’re stopped waiting for the light to change to green and overhearing their conversation she’s acting giddy and obviously wanting more attention with her “first date” type questions to him. She’s standing on her tip toes so her face is near his (still wanting attention).
b. Or they are walking arm-in-arm and he’s “cupping her” entire upper body with his other arm as they walk. Frankly I’ve never done that position and it looks like it would be quite an uncomfortable position while walking and I don’t see too many people using that position.

4. Or, they are stopped next to a trash dumpster (they think no one can see them other than those walking by on the sidewalk) with each other’s tongue passionately down each other’s throat and he has her thrown back (her back towards the stores) holding her in a position which can best be described as that of a living room recliner.

That pretty much covers the indicators.

Since this topic came up, I’ve received many e-mail confirmations that this is exactly what is going on in the Castro. Many people have wondered WTF is up with all of these “straight” couples in the Castro exhibiting the same type of behaviour (as if that they just met). There are the occasional “straight” couples who don’t at all look like they just met. They’re not all over each other and they’re not looking as though they can’t wait to fuck like the couples that this article is about.

Here’s a sample of the e-mail I’ve received:

La Dalia Amarilla y Naranja

La Dalia Amarilla y Naranja

Information about where “straights” go to cheat in San Francisco
El 7 de octubre de 2013. This topic has generated a bit of interest. It was news to me that it’s fairly common knowledge that “straights” go to San Francisco’s Castro barrio to cheat on their spouse or partner. I didn’t know that but it makes sense. That explains part of the surge of “straights” coming into the former “gay mecca.” (Related: Seattle overtakes San Francisco as No.1 city for gay couples ). Then there are the M-F couple closet cases that want people to think they are “straight” and are “straight” to each other, but are in the Castro to discreetly cruise someone of the same gender while pretending to be “straight.” These games that people play! Anyway, I just got this e-mail from someone who had read earlier e-mails. That person wrote: “I hear that the motor lodge on Market near Castro I forget the name of it is a popular place after the second or third date for heterosexuals after they’ve met in the Castro. They go there for sex.”
My response: Gracias. Uh huh. That explains why I frequently see “straight” couples crossing Market Street at Castro walking to the north side of Market and then taking a right which is the side that motel is on (if that’s where they are going of course…wink, wink). Interesting. Gracias. Chau.—rosa barrio

San Francisco Castro barrio is the place where “straights” go to cheat
El 6 de octubre de 2013. An e-mail we received from a reader about our published 4 de octubre e-mail (see below):
Hi. Someone wrote you, “it’s common knowledge among straights to go to the Castro if you’re cheating.” I can vouch for that from personal experience. I caught my husband cheating on me and he was in the Castro doing it. One of my gay friends at work offered to give me a ride home after work. On the way, he suggested we stop for a drink at one of the gay bars. Cool by me. So we get out of his car and walk down Market Street by that newish bar [Ed. Name of bar removed. It’s that obnoxious, loud “sports bar” where heteronormative faux-jocks hang out screaming at walls of television screens over corporatist sports teams]. Passing by that gay bar I saw my husband sitting at the window cooing and flirting over a woman IN THIS GAY BAR. He didn’t see me when I walked by either time because he had his head turned gazing into her eyes. To cut this story short: I told my friend that I wanted to follow my husband to see what he was going to do and suggested my friend go on and go about his evening, but he stayed with me to keep me company and he also wanted to get this gossip. We got back in my friend’s car and waited and waited and finally watched my husband leave this bar with this woman arm in arm. This was on one of his “working late” days. I guess he was working her. We got out of my friend’s car and slowly followed behind them all the way down Market up to Castro Street to 19th. They never saw us because they were completely into each other. As they were coming back down Castro, I decided to approach him and I asked him who the hell this woman is that you’ve been kissing and holding? You should have seen the look on his face when he saw me. He couldn’t explain who she was other than he stammered out the words “someone from the office.” I asked: Do you usually kiss and hold someone from the office? He asked who I was with and suggested I was doing the same thing. My friend screamed to him, “I’m gay so she’s not doing what you’re doing and do you see me holding your wife’s hand or kissing her? We are friends and only friends.” My former husband and I are now divorced. Later on in anger he said he was in the Castro because he thought he and her were safe there and that there was no chance of them seeing me there. I can confirm from experience and friends tell me they’ve heard that the Castro is THE place that heteros go to cheat and sleep around on their wives, husbands and significant others. I also strongly suggest that anyone who suspects that their wife, husband or significant other is cheating on them, go to the Castro and be prepared to be hurt because that’s where you will likely find them making out and gazing into someone’s eyes.”
My response: Gracias. A very interesting story and that explains a lot. I’m seeing more and more “straights” in the Castro and they behave as if they just met. Someone who wrote an article for us suggested that there’s a “straight” dating service in the Castro and their first requirement is for the new “straight” couple to go make out for that first beso/kiss at Castro/Market. Generally speaking, the behaviour of the “straights” that I see in the Castro does not look like the couples have been together long at all. And I’ve noticed that Market Street seems to be the “straight” area of the Castro and Castro Street seems more queer but gets more “straight” up towards 19th in that one block between 18th and 19th. Of course this can depend upon the day how things look but that’s what I and others have observed. Gracias. Chau.—rosa barrio

An answer from a reader as to what’s going on in San Francisco’s Castro barrio
El 4 de octubre de 2013. An e-mail we received from a reader:
“You asked what’s going on with the straight kissing at Castro and Market Streets and with all the straights showing up there and in the Castro. I’ve heard for a while now that straights go to the Castro because they’re cheating on their spouses or their girlfriends or boyfriends, and the Castro is the safest place for them to go without them being caught because it’s the last place they would be expected to be. I work in the Financial District (San Francisco) and there’s a woman in my office that has had many rendezvous in the Castro with her new boyfriend who doesn’t live in the Castro. She told me in confidence that she’s been cheating on her old boyfriend about a year and the last place she’d expect to see him would be in the Castro so that’s why she and her new boyfriend meet there. She says it’s a little out of the way but it’s better than her old boyfriend finding out what’s going on before she’s ready to tell him. I was waiting for Muni the other night in the Castro and there was this straight couple sucking face and slurping all over each other at the bus stop and I heard them talking and both were talking as if they were cheating on somebody else. I’m not saying all straight couples you see in the Castro are cheating on somebody, but I think it’s a pretty good number of them doing it as I said, and some of my friends have told me it’s common knowledge among straights to go to the Castro if you’re cheating.”
My response: Gracias for that. I had no idea. I’ve never heard that the Castro is where “straights” go to hook up/meet each other when they’re cheating on somebody else. It’s makes sense and does explain a lot. I’ve also heard the tag line from “straights”, they say: “We came over to the Castro to support the gays.” Whatever that’s supposed to mean, I think it’s just an excuse to use or something to say to justify their coming to the Castro while they’re standing there making out at Castro/Market. And the “straight” divorce rate en los Estados Unidos/the US which is well over 50%. Gracias. Chau.—rosa barrio

There’s more…

Of course there are the closet-case gay guys (WTF is up with them?) who are apparently pretending to be “straight” in the Castro while discretely cruising guys and holding the hand of a female.

After word gets out and it becomes very common knowledge that “straights” who are cheating go to the Castro, I suspect the Castro will no longer be a destination spot for “straights,” because if someone expects someone of cheating, they will now just come to the Castro.

En los Estados Unidos/In the US, over 50% of “straight” marriages end in divorce, some likely having been in the Castro cheating on their partners. Why go through that charade of marriage to begin with? Chau.—rosa barrio