What if you get the wrong pussy?

No two pussies look the same or are the same.

When it comes to dick, in my life experiences I can only think of one or two dicks that turned me off or didn’t do much for me. One of them was excessively curved to the point of turning me off, but I tried to deal with it because I didn’t want to offend the guy. He didn’t choose his dick and I didn’t want to make him feel badly. Other guys might tell him, “You have a fucking hot dick dude.”

Pussies are another story altogether. I’ve seen some nasty-looking pussies throughout my research for various sex articles I’ve written. Pussies come in more extreme varieties than dicks.

Mi amigo/My friend is turned off by uncut dicks with too much foreskin that forms a point at the bottom (below the head) and almost resembles the loose skin of loose pussy. Or that it looks like loose skin that looks ratty at the point as if it’s infected with something. That’s what turns him off in the dick department.

The pussy I find attractive is mostly shaved and pink with thick lips; a nice mound of pussy. No hanging wrinkled lips or brown pussy, such as a white girl with hanging brown lips that looks infected or something.

So the question is: How does a bro end up getting the right type of pussy that he’s attracted to, such as pink and tight (if that’s his turn on)?

Well, if you’re dating a chick, good luck with that considering the emotional roller coaster most females are, needing constant drama, attention and dysfunction. If you’re a “pussy guy” and are most turned on by a certain kind of pussy, how do you find that type of pussy and what do you do before emptying your bank or credit union account on her and spending weeks cooing her before she finally gives you “the main event” and what you’ve been waiting and waiting for? Pussy. She’s been waiting for it too but plays the “hard to get” usual head trip games of pretending not to want your dick. Yet should she get your dick in her, her high-pitched ear-piercing screeching squeals while you’re fucking her can be heard in the next city over. That’s why when I’m watching pussy porn I have the sound on mute usually. I can’t stand those noises that females make when they’re getting fucked or eaten out, and I think a lot of it is just her acting. She’s making noises that she’s heard females make any the professional studio porn videos. Whereas gay guys are usually much quieter even when they cum, if a guy makes any noise at all. No obnoxious noises like with squealing females.

With a female, after the long wait of the dating process she finally spreads her legs for you and if the lights are on in the room, you see her pussy for the first time and 1) it’s either the type of pussy that’s “your type” or 2) it’s not. Or the smell turns you off big time. Your mind might be trying to figure out what that putrid rank stench is. Your brain tells you: “Smells sort of like a mix between garlic and snapper” you’re thinking. But by society’s Straight Agenda brainwashing for men, you’re supposed to like any rank stench that comes out of pussy because “you’re smelling a woman.” (roll eyes)

So what do you do if you get the wrong pussy with wrinkled dark lips and that looks hammered, and it stinks? Then what do you do? You can’t verbally say: “Oh fuck, I’ve wasted all of this time and money on you and you don’t even have the kind of pussy I’m attracted to. Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve waited weeks (a couple of months?) to see this thing and just tonight I spent over $200 on a dinner for you and bought lots of drinks to get you tipsy enough so I could finally get in your panties and look, you have the wrong fucking kind of pussy. I’m bummed out. Oh, and all that jewelry I spent all that money on for you. Now what do I do? Because your pussy looks nasty and there’s the smell. By the way, how many guys have fucked you? (Dude: Pick up your flowers off the table to take back home with you and the jewelry if you know where it is and tell her to delete your phone number, and leave).

How about coming up with a new rule for dating or even for sex dates: Send me a pic of your pussy before our first date and I’ll send you a pic of my dick and nutts in case you’re only into a certain type of dick. How’s that?

Well bro, we all know that wouldn’t go over. So we’re back where we started.

Mi amigo/My friend who started out with females tells me that most guys are so desperate for pussy — due to societal brainwashing known as the Straight Agenda and how long and hard it takes to get pussy — that they’ll take any pussy they can get no matter what it looks like, yeast infections included and any other cooties as well, or blood if you happen to catch her when she’s having her period. And most guys will go down and eat infected pussy (especially if it’s dark) that excreting that thin clear sticky slime that comes out of pussy or what looks like cream cheese that a guy gets on his dick when fucking a girl and calls it “that sweet honey.” Yuck. Well you can call shit “sweet honey” too but we all know it’s not! “Sweet honey” my ass.

It’s amazing how guys get brainwashed into different things. Put some sanitised marketing term on pussy like “sweet honey” and guys lap up the slime, mucous, yeast infections or other types, and anything else.

Pussy is a big problem.

Even though you’d love to cum in her when you finally get to fuck her pussy, but if you do and she gets pregnant, your life will then completely change for the next 18+ years just because of that (one) fuck. But some guys don’t take any chances. Even though there is no sperm in pre-cum from my research, guys in some porn videos still wear a condom anyway to be extra careful not to get the girl pregnant and they pull out, take their condom off and jack off onto of her. Or dude, did you happen to spot what looks like someone else’s cum in her pussy when you were holding your nose and eating her out?

Gay guys are so much easier to be with. Guys don’t require you to empty your bank account on them, they’re not needy and whinging and bitches like these females. Guys don’t bleed every month. A dick can have infections but are not likely to, depending upon what type of guy you hook up with. Let’s just face it: Gay guys are cleaner and more hygienic than females, and most gay guys are not a fucking head trip. They’re just out to get dick and to get off without the games and often get right to it. No wasting of time like females do. If you’re saying, but a guy has an asshole. Yeah, so does she and her asshole is often right at that pussy (sometimes 1/4″ away), so when you’re eating pussy you’re often eating ass which is why some straight guys who don’t like eating pussy say so because “”it’s like licking a toilet seat.” Do you go into public bathrooms and lick the toilet seat? If not, why do you do it with females? Chau.

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