Breeder Marriage Proposals

Guys: What are you doing down on your knee? Aren’t you and your “girl” equals?

Hola a todos. This article is intended for everyone to read, but I’m mainly talking to guys here. Guys: What are you doing down on your knee? Unless you want to give another guy a blow job while you tell everyone that you’re straight, because you’re another gay closet case.

Who started that ridiculous and silly tradition that when a guy proposes to a female he must get down on his (right) knee? This is 2017, but yes, I know it feels like the 1950s in many ways as we head backwards into the Dark Ages under El Hombre Naranja/The Orange Man et al. And since the guy in these breeder relationships considers himself superior to “little” non-feminist her, and she subservient to Mr Macho him, why isn’t she down on her knee instead begging him to marry needy-her? Hmmmmmmmmm?

Muchachos: Don’t you consider yourself to be her equal or even superior to her most of the time with your sexist “The Man Must Be Dominant Over The Female” mentality? Based on the chauvinistic and sexist behaviour I’ve seen from breeder Millennial guys around The Breeder Mecca (San Francisco’s Castro), they seem to think they are superior to their “girl.” (These Millennial/jock bro guys call her “my girl” and often because of the extreme height difference between the two it looks like he’s making out with his little daughter on the sidewalk.) Therefore, for your marriage proposal, stand cara a cara/face-to-face with her as adults and as her equal and ask her:

“Mi amor/my love, you don’t want to go through the charade of marriage with me, do you?”

I advise putting it in that negative context so she’ll more likely say, “No! I don’t.” I say that because that’s really what the marriage process is. It’s a charade. It’s merely a legal process. And in many cases — it can be weeks/months or even years after he and she get married — the guy will be slapping her upside the head and/or she’ll be slapping him in a nasty domestic violence situation which makes that “down on the knee” proposal routine look pretty ridiculous when you think about it.

Even with some gay couples who like being heteronormative and want so much to be like the breeders (WHY?), you’ll see him getting down on his right knee to propose to his boyfriend.

Muchachos: Save your knees for blow jobs, or for genuflecting during Messe/Mass in Roman Catholic or Anglican Liturgies.

Stop the Chauvinism
(Yeah, I know that’s likely to happen)

Breeder/Straight Guys: If you and your female partner consider yourselves equals, then stop the sexism and chauvinism. I’m talking about the following, as some examples: Let her pull out her own chair for herself in a restaurant or anywhere else. Let her open her own car door. And other things that you are “expected” to do for needy and attention-seeking her. She opens her own car door when you’re not there, doesn’t she? Or does she run into a store or somebody’s house and ask someone in there to come open her door for her? Unless she’s completely helpless and/or disabled, she can do these basic things for herself, no? She never pulls out your chair for you in a restaurant, does she? Well why not? Does she open your car door for you? Well why not? Get the point? Does the guy in a breeder relationship have to go open the bathroom door for her too and lower the toilet seat when she has to go to the bathroom or is she able to manage that? Why is the guy required to give her flowers and chocolates on Día de San Valentín? Why isn’t she required to do the same for him?

I’m glad I’m Queer because I would absolutely not do any of this ridiculous stuff that breeder guys are expected to do for females. I wouldn’t do it! And if that meant I wouldn’t “get the girl” then I wouldn’t “get the girl.” I would remain single like my straight neighbour who can’t stand any of this nonsense either. You should hear him talk about it! I would not have the patience for any of this fucking nonsense that I see breeder couples constantly doing (him doing for needy/high-maintenance her). Queers don’t do this shit. We’re equals with each other and we’re usually the same height (we don’t have this him-tall-dominant/her-short-submissive head trip going on). Queers don’t have these fucked up head trips that breeders consistently do, most of which they have learned from the corporate media/television and from family (one generation after another mindlessly passing down sexism and chauvinistic behaviour).

I’m not the first person to write about this perfunctory routine of guys getting down on their knee to propose to some female. I read an article about this awhile back and I was surprised that the writer felt it is just as ludicrous as I do. I thought I was the only person who found it sadly ridiculous and silly. It also looks so sheeple and predictable. It looks like one has been brainwashed by their television. When I see a guy get down on his knee on television, I say to myself: “Oh here we go again.” And often the female looks utterly embarrassed by it as if she’s thinking: “what are you doing down there? Why are you doing this? Get up off your knee and stand face-to-face with me. It makes me feel weird.” Then on cue, she turns on the waterworks and someone from la producción has to bring out a box of tissues for her to get a grip. Then there are the silly females who have to hop around like a little bird after answering, “I do.” She’s all giddy with excitement jumping around probably thinking: “Finally, finally, I found some sucker, a guy desperate enough to want needy and high-maintenance me. As my straight neighbour often says, “I guess the guy likes a constantly unpredictable emotional wreck.” It’s all right out of the Traditional Breeder PlaybookTM.

So guys: Don’t you think it would look better if you appeared to be her equal and stand in front of her cara a cara? Why not give that a try the next time you propose? It’s also a more mature way of proposing adult-to-adult. Any other time you talk with her or ask her for something you’re not down on your knee, are you? And as many marriages and divorces as many breeders go through, you’ll wear out your knee over time.

It’s at this point that I can hear some breeder guys screaming at me: “But marriage is a big deal!!! That’s why guys get down on their knee!!!” Is it really? Ha! Marriage must not be that big of a deal considering over 50% of breeder marriages in the US end in divorce early-on. Marriage must not be that big of a deal when many married breeder couples are caught cheating on each other all the time. Marriage must not be that big of a deal considering the amount of domestic violence one finds in breeder relationships/marriages, and I could go on with other examples. So all of that behaviour tells me that marriage is not that big of a deal but rather more of a traditional charade for suckers and those following The Family ScriptTM per our fucked-up society’s programming of people to get married. There’s quite a bit of dinero/money to be made by The Marriage Industrial Complex when people get married depending upon how elaborate it is.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just live together — as you may have been doing to begin with — rather than falling for the trap of traditional wedlock as it’s called. There’s a reason it’s called wedlock, muchachos. You’re legally locked into the thing until you go through yet another legal procedure called divorce to get out of that mess you got yourself into, which you may have been reluctantly talked into to begin with by family and amigos/amigas.

So get up off your knee, muchachos, and just live together. You’ll likely be happier that way. Because in some instances, marriage ruins a couple’s relationship. That’s true. Some couples find that they were much happier living together. Something psychologically happens with some breeder couples after they run through that legal procedure. And in many cases, they use their legal marriage against each other. Chau.—el barrio rosa

Previously:

I wouldn’t do well as a “straight” person

Entrance Rights into that Pussy

5 comments on “Breeder Marriage Proposals

  1. E in Sunnyvale

    Spot on! I’ve known more than a few unmarried couples that have been happy together for 20+ years. Marriage is an outdated tradition.

    Also, how come the guy is *expected* to sign over probably a year’s worth of pay on a diamond ring for engagement? How stupid.

    ~E

  2. Your Straight Neighbor

    Great article!!! You left out where she constantly needs her hand to be held even when shopping for groceries and where she insists on making out in the produce section. I’ve had dates complain to me that I wasn’t holding her hand enough in public to let all know that she’s taken. Many of my dates told tell me “a woman wants to feel wanted and needed at all times.” Hearing that over and over is when I would lose it. Never matters what the guys wants. It’s all about her.

    Talk with you later.

    1. D8

      Thanks for that. It’s not just -in- the grocery store. She requires her hand be held leaving the grocery store too like I saw this morning when I drove into the garage at Rainbow Grocery Cooperative. There they were the tall and short white millennial couple walking out of Rainbow shoulders locked, holding hands and walking in lock step. ugh. Breeders!

      Agree with E in Sunnyvale too.

      1. el barrio rosa Post author

        Hola D8, glad I missed that! There are definitely more breeder couples as you described at Rainbow now. I saw one breeder couple starting to make out over by the Bakery Department last week. I looked at them thinking to myself: “WTF am I seeing?…Why are you making out in a grocery store?” They stopped after I looked at them. I also get the impression that most of the workers are breeders, which is not the impression I once had. In the Old City days I thought most of the workers were Queer. Maybe I was wrong. Gracias to everyone for their comment. Chau.

        1. Queer boi

          Breeders feel entitled to make out whenever and wherever they want. They’re obnoxious like that. Whereas us Queers think differently about it I think. I’ve never felt inclined to make out by the broccoli, basil or carrots and whenever I make out I always look around to check if it looks safe to do so. Breeders don’t have to do that. Their constant holding of hands looks more like insecurity than affection.

Fin. The End.