UPDATED: Hola. ¿Qué tal? I’ve written quite a bit about this topic before, but a local resident left a comment on one of my articles and I decided to make his comment a post. He wrote:
“You’ve asked why are heterosexuals so attracted to gay areas and gay bars?
There are two reasons for that:
1. As you say, they’re cheating on someone and they think a gay area is a safe place to go to cheat. Less likely to be spotted in a gay area by a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend suspecting the person of cheating. Less likely to be caught there.
2. They’re gay and still in the closet and want to discreetly (there’s that word again as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” continues) check out the eye candy in the gay area and fantasize over it, not that there’s not eye candy in heterosexual bars that they could drool over.
I live in Upper Market [Ed. in San Francisco] and observe the same things you’ve seen many times in the Castro. I try to keep these two things in mind because as you say it makes no sense to me that heterosexuals desire to come here because as a gay man I don’t go wandering into heterosexual bars and have had no desire to live in or go to a heterosexual area of the city. That’s why I chose to live in the Castro/Upper Market when I moved to San Francisco. The Castro is not known for great restaurants. Most of them are just meh so it’s not the restaurants that attract heterosexuals. There are hetero bars all over the city where heteros can meet, so it makes no sense to go to a gay bar to meet if you’re heterosexual unless it’s a situation of cheating on someone or being gay and still in the closet and maybe trying to wean oneself out of the closet by going to a gay bar. In the guy’s case, he’s hoping she doesn’t find out he’s gay. Some women are pretty dense when it comes to figuring out that her guy is really gay or she doesn’t want to know. Some even have a baby to “save the marriage.” A major mistake there. A baby should never be used to save a marriage. That often ends in single-parent situations and child support. A marriage should be solidly secure before having a baby.
Thanks for bringing this topic up as several of my friends and I have talked about it many times. It’s most annoying to us as I know it is to you.”
My response: Muchísimas gracias for that. Mi amigo and I were hanging out in The Castro on Sábado/Saturday night and the supposed “straight” couples were pouring in with their required hand-holding behaviour. They’re so predictable with their societal-learned/programmed behaviour. One very young couple looked like they were possibly cheating and/or meeting in person for the first time because they met at Castro/Market and acted as if they had not seen each other’s face before but knew each other to a degree. Was this an online hookup with no exchange of face pics possibly? Then after a couple of minutes of talking they proceeded to cross Castro with him quickly grabbing her hand so they could be in the perfunctory heterosexual hand-in-hand mode. So silly! One thing I’ve learned from watching all the “straight” people coming over here is that they have so many fucked up requirements of what they think they’re supposed to be doing to and with each other! You must do this, you must do that and mostly him doing things for needy her…jesus fucking christ who has the time or patience for all that nonsense?!. Fortunately, gay people don’t have all of these ridiculous and absurd requirements and baggage.
Most of the supposed “straight” couples we saw Saturday night also fit that age category I’ve written about previously: Particularly, the roughly 28-35 year old fucked up in the head gay male closet cases who—in their local personal sex ads on the site I call ClosetList—describe themselves as “discreet” and “down low,” while trying to be heteronormative/ashamed to be gay. They are continuing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” And some of the same muchachos using the language, “straight-acting” and “straight-looking” to describe themselves. There’s lot of gay shame out there, unfortunately. Muchas gracias for your comment. Chau.—el barrio rosa
[Note: I don't like this site at all, but it's the only place to get this article]:
Chelsea: The Death of a Gay Neighborhood, Murdered by Neo-Hetero-Homophobes