“Honey, let’s have a baby to make us happier!”

Hola a todos. “Honey, let’s have a baby to make us happier!” I suspect those words have been repeated thousands of times preceding what has become known as San Francisco’s Baby Explosion and The Stroller Brigades.

I’ve seen this over and over. You may have too. The Millennial breeder couple: Him-tall and an alpha-male. Her-short, thoroughly submissive and anti-feminist. Both wearing conformist all-black clothing head to toe. They want to “start a family.” They are probably being pestered by family members such as their mothers and/or fathers with, “When are you going to have a baby and make us grandparents?” The family members want the couple to breed to fulfill the Family Script/Plans they have for this couple. So, whether they have the time and money or not for this additional expense called a baby, is beside the point. The Millennial couple prepare to breed, thinking “this might get our folks off our backs.” (Don’t count on it!) And also from family members, they have probably been brainwashed with the illusion that, “Having a baby will make us so much happier (with the unspoken being: and will tame him down).” Don’t count on that either; that’s wishful-thinking! And don’t use/exploit a baby to try to be happier because it’s going to backfire on you. Instead, get some relationship therapy. But neither of them likely have the courage to tell their parents to butt out and that they are quite happy as they are, if that’s the case, and that they don’t need a baby to “make us so much happier.”

But this breeder couple continues to have sex as they have been — but she’s now off the pill — and she gets pregnant at some point. One day she tells him, “Honey, I’ve got great news. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant.” He says, “Oh honey, that’s wonderful.” Then, emulating the brainwashing behaviour he’s seen on television countless times when a female announces she’s pregnant, he picks her up and twirls her around in celebration of this supposed good news and then realises there’s a fetus inside her that he needs to be careful about, so he puts her back down and lightly pats her abdomen. By the way, picking her up and twirling her around is the same type of ludicrous brainwashing that guys receive when they think they must get down on their right knee to propose marriage. ) A bit later after this so-called “wonderful news,” it dawns on him that he’s now tied down for 18 long years of parenting. That’s something he didn’t really think about before and it hits him like a rock at some point in time. In the back of his mind he’s thinking, “What the hell have I done? Why did I allow her and our interfering parents talk me into this? I didn’t want this. I just wanted to have sex. I didn’t want to have a kid at this point in my life. I’m not ready to be a father. That comes way down the road. This must be what they mean by wedLOCK.” You’re locked into it. In reality, they’re both in lock down for 18 years, but especially him with financials and child support payments after “The Divorce,” which will likely come at some point. And in many cases, he’s gay but in the closet and thinking about guys when having sex with her and sometimes playing with guys on the side. As if life isn’t hard enough without one of these babies that one has to take care of for 18 years. And with humans, it seems there’s no such thing as one baby. She talks about her pregnancy endlessly for 9 months with her amigas/female friends who also decide to get pregnant — they’re called copycat pregnancies — so they can all be pregnant at the same time so that their children can all play together because, “it’s going to be so much fun, you’ll see!” Then she squeezes out her baby. After about a week, it’s clear that she’s beginning to get a little tired of the little darling. It’s a lot of work and with sleep interruptions. But she’s been taught to say, “I love being a mother” so it’s unspeakable to say anything other than that. Having to take care of the child day and night with little sleep while “the husband” is on the golf course and having sex with other women (think: el hombre naranja/the orange man) and/or other guys, becomes drudgery. Or, “the husband” is out late nights with his jock tech bros talking about chicks they’d like to bang.

After many months or maybe years, the parents realise what a job the child is. One hears them say, “We didn’t realise it was going to be this hard.” And they begin talking about sending the child off to camp (to get rid of the child temporarily) or “We can get next door to take care of the children for a couple days while we take a break; she loves children.” Or, I know, here’s my phone. Let’s just give “the kids” our phones to serve the role of a baby sitter. Or, in extreme cases, they leave “the kid” in the car for an extended period of time on a suffocatingly hot day and the child just, well, dies from the heat. Somehow the parent forgot about their child baking in the hot vehicle. To begin with, how on Earth could a parent forget about their child? Isn’t the child on the parent’s mind most of the time? Was the parent too busy on their own phone? Or too busy getting sex elsewhere through their phone and some sex app? Some females enjoy being mothers so much that they are accused of killing their children. As of this writing, a 20-year-old mother in Arizona is being held on a $2 million bond on suspicion of first-degree murder after her two children — a 2-year-old boy and a 10-month-old girl — were found dead in car seats inside a car outside the family’s home, with evidence of “foul play.”

Or the father goes to a business event in another state and then sees a beautiful, young, blond, blue-eyed chick up in some floozy hotel room where they have bareback sex. These women are usually called “Stormy Daniels.” Even while their wife is pregnant with their next baby (an unplanned pregnancy?), he’s fucking around with one chick or another guy after the other, banging away. This is often the same hypocritical crowd that goes on about “family values” and right-wing religious bull shit.

Now, how much do we see of this in the Breeder Mecca (the former Gay Mecca; The Castro in San Francisco)? Depending upon the day and time of day, we see lots of it. These breeder couples are the ones you see where it looks like they obviously just met — based on their heavy, uncontrollable make-out scene behaviour — and are about to fuck right there on the sidewalk. They look like they can’t even wait until they get to the motel down the street. I have seen these couples where they both have a phone in one hand (that’s extended behind each other’s head) and they are glued to their phones while heavily making out, with one eye fixed on the phone. That looks a bit awkward. These are often the same breeders who sometime ago whined about, “Gay people being in our face with their sexuality” while these hypocrites are making out in front of the few remaining Queers in The Castro. It’s alright when they do it.

Often a child is used/exploited to give a needy-female (the mother) attention that she constantly craves and demands. She buys the biggest all-black condominium-sized stroller she can find to put the child in for a “presentation mode,” in the stroller hoping that anyone who walks by on the sidewalk — that’s she’s clogging up with this gigantic stroller — will “ooooooooh and aaaaaah” over her child as they pass. It’s just another baby. As my straight neighbour says, “With babies, when you’ve seen one, you’ve pretty much seen them all!” But part of the reason for having the baby in the first place was/is to give the mother attention and to hear people say, “What a cute and adorable (white) baby you have. How old is it? What is it’s name?”

But it’s not just the breeders who feel they must pump out babies to continue in the overpopulation of the planet. No, in their goal to be as much like the breeders as possible, some heteronormative Queer couples become parents and haul around babies too, usually in strollers to show the thing off. But with many Queer couples, they adopt children which is a much better option. “Same-sex parents in the United States are four times more likely than different-sex parents to be raising an adopted child.” One wonders when the British Royal Baby Factory will figure that out.

Also, it should be pointed out that many people unfortunately become quite the conservative prudes after becoming a parent. They become different people. With Queer couples, they sometimes become just like the conservative people they fled from decades ago when they moved to gay areas of major cities. Related: Sexual Freedom and Revolution.

Most parents refuse to “wear their child” on their body, which is healthier for the child in order for the child to bond with the parent. “Baby wearing” does present a problem for attention-seeking parents and especially the needy-mother. The problem with wearing the child is that people can’t easily see the child when she’s wearing it. That’s because the child is supposed to be worn facing the mother. So this sort of contradicts the sole purpose of having a baby to begin with. I mean, what’s the point of having a baby if nobody can see it and oooooooh and aaaaaaaah over it? That seems to be her thinking. “I have to show off my trophy baby.” Lately, in San Francisco, I have seen some breeders wearing the child facing outward — clearly they didn’t do their research — to give the child and parent the mandatory attention the mother demands. But that looks odd because the child is just hanging off of the parent. It looks uncomfortable for the child. Whereas when the child is worn inward — as it’s supposed to be — it looks like the child is hugging or lying on the parent. Much more natural-looking. I guess getting attention is more important than the health of the child and bonding with the parent. But some needy parents do anything for attention even when the health of their child (as in bonding with the parent) involves another approach.

The Earth can sustain about 1 Billion people. But the current world population is approximately 7.8 Billion, and growing, because most females love being baby factories. And I think with most breeder guys/alpha male guys, getting their chick pregnant is a big macho turn-on. (Related: The British Royal Baby Factory). From what I’m seeing in The Breeder Mecca of San Francisco, most people don’t give a fuck about overpopulation. Couldn’t care less, and especially females, where it’s all about them and their craving to be (constantly) pregnant to keep up with their pregnant friends and to Keep Up With the Joneses. Chau.—el barrio rosa

Related:

Straight Exhibitionism in The Castro (San Francisco)

Moms: The Baby-Wearing Shaming Needs To Stop

The Gay Straight Couple