New Columbia? WTF?

DC Taxation Without Representation STATE T-shirt
DC Taxation Without Representation
RE-IN-STATE-the District
T-Shirt

Jazz musician, Duke Ellington,
was born in the District in 1899
and today there is a Duke Ellington
School for the Arts which
was established in 1974.

Hola a todos. As a former resident of the District of Columbia, I’ve followed the campaign for DC Statehood which has been going on for years. I support statehood for the District, but I don’t support changing the name and I’m not the only person turned off by the proposed new name: New Columbia.

New Columbia ????? WTF?

Yes, that’s the proposed new name should the District become the 51st state of The Cesspool/US/los Estados Unidos. I and others say: Leave it the District of Columbia and grant the District statehood status and be done with it. Fin. The End.

“New Columbia” sounds outdated and at some point in time it will no longer be “New” which I’ll talk about later. And, I doubt that most people would ever call the nation’s capital “New Columbia,” especially people who don’t live in the District.

But I honestly don’t think we’ll have to worry about it because I don’t think the District will become a state, at least not anytime soon because the US congress won’t allow it.

For those who have no idea what I’m talking about because you never learned this in your history classes in school:

The District of Columbia is not a state. It’s the Federal District which borders Maryland and Northern Virginia. Maryland and Virginia donated land to create the District of Columbia as an independent Federal District (separate from any state) along the Potomac River. It was president George Washington’s idea. He was the first US president and he lived south of there on Mount Vernon. The District (which is 68 square miles; by comparison San Francisco is 49 square miles) is the capital of The Cesspool/the US and the seat of the completely corrupt Democratic and Republican US Oligarchy. People (usually conservatives) opposed to DC statehood and who are willfully-ignorant of the facts say that the population of the District is too small for the DC to become a state. Ludicrous. With a population of 646,449 (2013 census) the District has a larger population than the US states of Wyoming or Vermont, but District residents do not have a representative (House) or senators (Senate) in congress. If DC became a state, District residents would have full voting representation in congress, which congressional los Republicanos (especially) oppose.

Home Rule: District of Columbia home rule is the ability of residents of the District to govern their local affairs. As the federal capital, the constitution grants the United States Congress exclusive jurisdiction over the District in “all cases whatsoever.” [Source: District of Columbia home rule].

Many people refer to the District of Columbia as “Washington” which is the other name for the City (examples: Washington National Cathedral, the Choral Arts Society of Washington, The Washington Ballet).

However, there is no Washington in DC. The two names “Washington” and “DC” mean the same thing; they’re synonymous.

If you asked most people here in The Cesspool what “DC” stands for, I would guess that they couldn’t tell you and wouldn’t have a clue that it stands for District of Columbia. Some might think you’re talking about British Columbia. Or, they don’t know what District of Columbia means because it’s never been explained to them, and because “stupid is in.” So class, that’s why I’m explaining this in detail to help inform and educate. Also, what I’m explaining here is the usual short and friendly orientation that’s given among amigos/friends to new District residents by locals as to what to call their new city so the new residents don’t sound like tourists. Just like new residents of San Francisco are told that you don’t call San Francisco “Frisco.” Ugh.

From my experience living in the District, most locals — including some residents of Northern Virginia and Maryland bordering the District — don’t say: “Washington DC.” To begin with, that sounds like you’re a tourist and don’t know any better and also because saying “Washington DC” is like saying “San Francisco, San Francisco.” It’s repetitive and that’s how a law student amigo of mine at Georgetown University explained it to me when we were talking about this one day shortly after I moved there. Because as I said earlier class, “Washington” means the same thing as “DC” or District of Columbia. They are two names for the same Capital City/Federal District. You’ve probably heard of Georgetown, but Georgetown is part of the District of Columbia. Georgetown used to be a separate municipality years ago and Georgetown is technically on the land that Maryland donated for the creation of the independent Federal District. Also, the District is divided into four quadrants: NW, NE, SE and SW. Georgetown is in the NW quadrant (on the edge of the Potomac), just like Washington National Cathedral is in upper NW on Wisconsin Avenue.

Although from watching local DC newscasts during my high school years, I already knew what to call the nation’s capital because the news anchor, Meryl Comer, nearly always used the language, “Here in the District.”

So how does predatory and data-mining G**gle refer to DC? Answer: “Washington, District of Columbia.” Although, again, the official name of The City is the District of Columbia which is also on the driver licence for District residents.

Most locals and former District residents such as myself refer to the District of Columbia as: “the District,” or “DC” or “Washington” or “here in the City” or “here in town.”

Ignorant tourists and most USans who don’t know any better and who were not educated in the history of the formation of the Federal District/US capital and who have no clue what “DC” stands for call it “Washington DC” (Ugh!) with a few exceptions to that, such as for USPS mailing addresses. Some of my co-workers in the District didn’t understand why “Washington DC” was necessary for mailing addresses (even mail sent locally) since “The District 20036-1234” or “District of Columbia 20036-1234” or just “DC 20036-1234” (three examples) would be sufficient to get it there. It’s the zip code that gets it there. And as they pointed out, “District of Columbia” is the official name of the City, not “Washington DC.” When I was writing letters to amigos after I moved to San Francisco I addressed the envelope: The District xxxxx-xxxx (zip code). My letter always got there.

Should DC statehood ever happen and assuming they keep the “Washington” part of the name (as in George Washington, the first US president’s last name), the proposed new name for purposes of the sheeple/tourists would be “Washington NC” (Washington New Columbia). Loco./Crazy. Frankly, I can’t see that catching on at all. I can’t see DC locals calling the Federal District “NC” either. I think most locals would continue calling DC “the District” or “DC” as they have for decades because that is so engrained in people’s speech and thought. I haven’t lived in the District in years and that’s what I call it (the same for mis amigos/my friends in San Francisco from knowing me), as does The Washington Post in their local DC section.

Recently, some longtime District residents were interviewed and they said that the locals who think DC statehood will become a reality are engaging in some “very optimistic” thinking. Yeah, I would agree with that. And that’s because the corrupt ultra-conservative US congress controls the District’s funding even though the District has its own City Council and alcalde/mayor (she’s a Democrat). For example, for those GLBTQs into getting married, same-gender/same-sex marriage has been legal in DC since 2009, long before it became legal in California/San Francisco. The District is known as a “liberal city,” but it’s a city that supports Democratic corporate politicians. Of those who voted in the recent 2016 DC Democratic primary and assuming the s-election results were legitimate, District residents voted for one of the most corrupt right-wing Republicans around: Ms Hillary Rotten Clinton. The US congress doesn’t want to change the conservative political stagnant cesspool of congress by giving the District representation in congress. DC currently has a shadow representative (house) and shadow senator (senate), but their powers are limited. District residents pay taxes but do not have representation in congress so this is just another injustice to add to the pile. It’s a situation of “Taxation without Representation,” a slogan seen on some District licence plates.

Some conservatives who don’t live in the District and who oppose DC statehood repeatedly say to District residents, “If you want congressional representation move to Maryland or Virginia.” Sigh. What a ludicrous thing to say. Who the fuck wants to be stuck out in Maryland or Virginia when you’re a city person, los pendejos? Have you conservative idiots never thought about that? Although I’d choose Maryland over Virginia if required to live in one of the two state. But no one should have to move to another jurisdiction to have congressional representation. And frankly, most of the congress represent their corporate owners and not We The People anyway living in Maryland, Virginia or any other state. Most people live in the District for a reason. I did, and the same for mis amigos/my friends. We were city people and didn’t like being stuck out in the suburbs. When I lived in DC, I didn’t like going out to the suburbs — I feel the same way about San Francisco — and I only did so for University of Maryland Chorus rehearsals out at College Park and for my church job in Northern Virginia. I didn’t like going out to (redneck) Virginia, although Northern Virginia is a little bit better than the rest of that backward conservative state. Would these conservatives — who live in Maryland, Virginia or some other state — like to move into the District (that they hate) if the “tables were turned” and the District had congressional representation and Virginia and Maryland did not? I suspect they would not.

There’s another problem with this new name: If the new name became (for tourism and USPS purposes) “Washington NC” — which would be confused with the United States Postal Service (USPS) initials for North Carolina — every business and government agency in the District would have to change all of that stationery and other paperwork to reflect the new name, which would be extremely costly and such a waste of materials (paper, etc.) Another problem with this new name is that there already exists a Washington NC. (It’s a city in Beaufort County, North Carolina, located on the northern bank of the Pamlico River. The population was 9,744 at the 2010 census). Also, USPS does not have two states with the same initials. That would be confusing to USPS especially if someone left the zip code off.

Should statehood status ever occur, I and others propose keeping the name District of Columbia. Why change it? The problem with changing the name to “New Columbia” is that at some point the “New” part will be old and there will be nothing “New” about it. There’s a store in San Francisco that calls itself “New ****** Market.” It’s a convenience store. The “New” part was new when the store opened and for a couple of years after that. But the store is not “New” now because it’s been there for decades. That would be the same way with this name “New Columbia.” Apparently those proposing that name change haven’t fully thought this through. One local said: It’s DC, it will always be DC. Yes, I agree, muchacho. Gracias. Chau.—el barrio rosa

Related:

Before it asks for statehood, DC already faces a constitutional crisis
From the article: “But there’s a catch, and it’s a doozy: If District voters endorse a complicated ballot measure for statehood, they essentially would be giving up their right to decide anything else about the future state — from how it’s organized to how it’s governed.”

8 comments on “New Columbia? WTF?

      1. el barrio rosa Post author

        Hola strangetimes, Yes I did like living there for the most part. I got tired of the political atmosphere and snooty, stuck-up people. The weather was/is extreme. In the Summer, I’d take a shower then leave my apartment and walk out the front door to get on the crowded Metrobus and due to the high humidity it would feel like I had never taken a shower. Their Metro was wonderful. They had just opened part of it. It was the best Metro (rail) system in the country at that time because, from my understanding, the congress felt that the nation’s capital should have the finest Metro, and we did. But now it’s slowly falling apart due to its age and is not being funded to the same extent. Every time I go on the Washington Post website, there’s usually a story about something wrong with the Metro, one line or the other. Most recently, the air conditioning not working in many of the cars causing what they call “hot cars” in 90+ degree temperatures. They apparently get so hot that riders can’t even hold on to the hand-poles up above the seats because they’re too hot to touch. This is happening even with the newer line of cars they recently got. They closed the Metro entirely which I thought was a bit extreme when they had that blizzard last Winter. New York never closes their Subway (that’s what their system is called) when they have a blizzard. It was an interesting time when I lived in the District and I’m glad I got to live there at that time. It was the disco era. As for the white house, that was no big deal to most District residents. We’d ride by there on the Metrobus and no one would even look that direction. They’d continue reading or looking straight ahead. One of my jobs was directly across from the white house. Didn’t spend time on Capital Hill and that’s way at the other end (too far away) from where I lived. Would be faster and easier to get to today using the Metro. I never did touristy things. If I hadn’t moved to San Francisco I would probably still be living in the District today. Although today it’s nothing like it was when I lived there and some of my amigos have died since. It’s changed a lot just like San Francisco. A guy in my apartment building was there about 6 months ago and I saw him in the hallway and he told me he had just gotten back from the District. I asked him how it was and he said, “it’s nothing like it was.” Gracias. Chau.

  1. Jimmy

    Adding a little tidbit of information to your fine article……When you cross the border from Montgomery County (Maryland) there’s the typical green sign that says, “Enter District of Columbia. Leaving Montgomery County.”

  2. Nobody You Know

    I have to plead ignorance on DC. Never gave any thought to it. Learned it in school as Washington DC (sorry!) and after reading this will never call it that again. My partner and i will plan a trip to the District or DC. 🙂 …..up there in that Canada ……(just teasing),.
    BTW, I support statehood too but agree with you on the name part. Thanks.

  3. Alejandro

    Hooooooooooola. As a member of your class 🙂 I learned some things I didn’t know. Where’d you live in the District? Gracias.

    Saludos.

    1. el barrio rosa Post author

      Hola Alejandro, I lived at Foggy Bottom in NW almost on the campus of George Washington University. It’s within walking distance of the Kennedy Center and Georgetown. It’s also within walking distance to (at that time) GLBTQ Dupont Circle. It was convenient — either by walking, or taking the Metro or Metrobus — to most of the things I was involved in. Gracias. Chau.

Fin. The End.