“Proud To Be Going Straight.” At Gay Pride?

In the conservative Castro of the now-conservative and conformist San Francisco, there is apparently quite the peer pressure among some gay guys to go “straight” (meaning to go back in the closet and pretend that one is “straight”), and that’s what we’re seeing. This especially comes with the obnoxious corporate sports jock personae, but not always.

Hola. Mi amigo/My friend and I walked down “Straightsville” — that’s what we call Market Street between Castro and Church Streets in San Francisco — this past Domingo/Sunday afternoon around the time that people were coming back from the corporatist commercial called SFPride. It was more crowded than usual on Market Street for a Domingo, but the crowds were not like during the Gay Mecca days.

The first thing we both noticed was how “straight” it was, especially at Castro and Market which used to be considered the “epicenter” of the Gay Mecca. We saw some females rubbing the scalp of the guy she was with and desperately wanting his attention. It didn’t take anytime at all before we saw multiple “straight” make-out sessions on Market Street as has become commonplace. That’s something we do not see anywhere else in The City. The “straights” love to come to what is supposed to be a Queer area to make out. The “straight” couples we saw were the usual: The him-tall and domineering/chauvinistic guy with her short/submissive/his “little girl” who has never heard the word feminist. Both young and white.

What we noticed was that most people were wearing black and gray clothing. They were not in fiesta/party festive colourful clothing which one might think would be the case for Pride Sunday, no? It used to be that way. As I was telling mi amigo: These conformist people around here must have baked downtown in their hot black shirts with the hot sun baking Market Street during the corporate parade which goes on for hours (7.5 hours in 2015). Anyone with an ounce of sense would have known to wear light colour clothing out in the hot sun, no? But these days, it’s more about being conformist and “not sticking out” — and that requires being seen wearing drab black and gray clothing — rather than being comfortable. You must wear hearse-black, casket-gray and/or white clothing to “fit in” and to be part of the conformist herd. And I don’t know how one couldn’t notice this clothing colour trend/fad since it’s everywhere I look. There was a time where I gave no attention to what people were wearing but with this drab fad it is so saturated that it’s very difficult not to notice it. I first noticed it back in 2014 for the Latin Grammy’s where some people asked: Who died? and it’s only gotten worse since. It’s obvious to me that the sheeple have noticed this trend/fad since they’re the ones wearing black, gray (they’re the dominant colours, if one can call those colours) along with white. Why? To “fit in.” From what I’ve observed, this is an international trend/fad; it’s not just limited to The Cesspool/the US/EE.UU. It’s especially bad on the español-language networks. Whenever I turned on my television I see black, gray and/or white clothing or a combination of all three. Even for deportes/sports programmes. The two guys sitting on the set both are wearing casket-gray suits, white shirts and a dark gray or black tie. Very drab and conservatively boring. There’s nothing “Latin” about gray and black. They look like they’re headed to or just got back from a funeral. As mi amigo asked? Why are they in conservative drab gray suits? The sports players are not in suits. I’ve also seen large groups of Latino artists (none related to each other) in a photo-op all wearing black and/or gray. Again, conformist. I’ve seen this black, gray and white fad in Asia, in México and parts of Europe. On the español-language networks especially in the US, they are so saturated with black, gray and/or white clothing that it’s to the point of looking tacky with its over-saturation. While in The Castro for Pride, we did see a little bit of colour, but very little. Maybe three old-looking tie-dye shirts, but most people were, again, in conformist black and gray and it was warm out: black jeans/gray t-shirt or black jeans and black t-shirt or some black top and black pants. There’s nothing Rainbow Pride about conservative black. The majority of people are conformists in the proudly-radical and alternative colourful tech-junkie conservative San Francisco where the only thing going on these days for the masses is getting drunk and screaming over corporate sport$ team$.

The colour trend/fad I talked about in the previous paragraph is not limited to clothing. Most of the vehicles in San Francisco are conformist hearse-black (especially SUVs), casket-gray and white. The same for the new outrageously priced Luxury Designer Condos (Dahling). They have these conformist blindly-white interiors or they’re white with drab gray trim. The Real Estate Industrial Complex and their Corrupt Liars call it “minimalist.” I call it being very afraid of colour. The outside of these overpriced buildings is also conformist white, gray or black, with the exception of one near me which has some naranja/orange in it, but that’s a rare one.

While walking down Market Street I was reminded that I had wanted to check out if the conformist closet case bar (also known as the obnoxious “gay?” sport bar) was flying their Rainbow Flag on corporatist Pride Sunday. They only fly it one day a year and that’s Pride Sunday to exploit the tourists. Yes, they had two new-looking Rainbow Flags flying out front. They were new-looking because they stay in the closet 364 days a year. They’re only flown on Pride Sunday and then they go back in the closet the next day (Lunes/Monday). And you know it must have pained these obnoxious jocks to have to fly that flag that they’re so ashamed of. They refuse to fly it the rest of the year — because of their gay shame; the Rainbow Flag is seen as “too gay” for jocks? — as they try to be macho, heteronormative and try to be like the precious “straights” that they emulate.

Then things got a little weird. Mi amigo saw a guy from a distance he hadn’t seen for some time and that he had dated for awhile years ago. From dating the guy, he knew the guy had absolutely no interest in females because they had talked about that and in fact mi amigo remembers the guy as being sexist, which turned mi amigo off. Well, this guy started making out with this female he was with on Market Street. After watching that make-out scene for a few moments, mi amigo turned to me and said, “the peer pressure around here is apparently quite intense now for a gay guy to be with a female as The Castro and Upper Market and San Francisco in general becomes more and more ‘straight’.” I said: So what you’re saying is that the guy we’re looking at over there is going back in the closet and pretending to be “straight?” He said: “Exactly, based on what I know about him from having dated him.” This is not the first time this has happened. Mi amigo has seen about four other examples of this in just the last month. He recently saw two other gay guys — one he knew from his former gay gym and one from his current gym (which is now very “straight”) — making out with females. He always thought both of these guys were gay. Well, in recent weeks, he’s seen them both wrapped around and making out with a female. One was on Market Street just like the “straights” love to do. It’s their favourite place for making out. The other gay guy was making out with a female in his new gym. They go to the gym to make out, do they? He thought they were going to fuck right there in the gym at the rate they were going. Then as we were walking toward The Castro (which was equally “straight”) we noticed the couple in front of us. The young guy was rather fem-looking and jumping around and was all over the female he was walking with. He was giving her besos/kisses and arms around her clinging to her. As we got closer, we saw he was wearing a cardboard sign around his neck which said in gold-coloured glitter letters, “Proud To be Going Straight.” He had come to Pride to show that he’s going “straight” and for everyone to see that he was hanging all over his female and making out with her on Market Street. Mi amigo and I looked at each other after reading his sign and he said: “As I said earlier…peer pressure to pretend to be ‘straight’.” Yes, and the irony here was that this was Gay Pride Sunday. There has got to be something in the agua/water. It’s also ironic that this — going back in the closet — is happening after some progress that GLBTQs have made, including having the right to get married if one wants to here in The Cesspool and elsewhere. One would think that GLBTQs would be more “out and proud” than ever rather than going backwards into the closet. But frankly, I think a lot of this has to do with that “assimilation” nonsense. Read: Gay “Assimilation:” Back to the 1950s and What’s the problem with GLBTQ “assimilation?”.

But this behaviour we saw that I’ve described is no different than what thousands and thousands of gay guys have done for generations. In our heteronomative society, they’ve pretended they’re “straight” and made sure they are seen with a female, making out with a female and/or married to a female. After they get married, they squeeze out some babies, often due to family pressure. They are asked: “When are you going to start a family?” (Translation: When are you going to start breeding/fucking and contributing to the world’s overpopulation?) The guy is thinking about having sex with a guy he saw recently on the street (or somewhere) while having sex with her. He has their “straight” family pictures all over his office bookshelves and desk at work so that everyone thinks that he’s “straight” and he usually talks about corporate sports teams to “fit in”: “What did you think about that game yesterday? Wasn’t that a great game?” And then when he can’t take it anymore (pretending to be somebody he’s not), he comes out of the closet to his family and maybe a few others and admits he’s been gay all along. Sometimes, she has suspected. She thinks to herself: He never did like eating me out but I just thought that he was one of the “straight” guys that didn’t like that since not all “straight” guys like to eat pussy.

Gay meccas were created to give Queers/GLBTQs a safe place to be for solidarity, acceptance and to hang out together, talk and meet each other so we didn’t have to pretend to be somebody we’re not, and to have a break from the heteronormative peer-pressure society. If we were interested in someone in the bar, we didn’t have to guess or wonder about their sexual orientation. If a guy was in a gay bar, he was gay. Period. But these days with “straights” pendejos adamant about invading/going to some gay bars for some fucking reason (are they closet cases?), that’s not the case. Also, in our own gay mecca, gay guys didn’t have to hear that god-awful question: “How many girlfriends do you have now?” and “When are you getting married?” (meaning to a woman.) Although those in the closet still likely heard that. This is what is happening with some insecure gay guys with gay shame around San Francisco’s former Gay Mecca The Castro, and elsewhere. These insecure gay guys apparently think that as the neighbourhood becomes more and more “straight” that they too should be “straight” to fit in. I could suggest that they get some high-quality psychotherapy (preferably from a GLBTQ doctorate level psychologist since they will need all the help they can get!), but I know that most won’t. And this comes as gay meccas are quickly disappearing — San Francisco’s Castro, for example — and being invaded and taken over by obnoxious in-your-face “straight” basura who come in here with their make-out scenes and who love to make out under a giant Rainbow Flag. I’ll never understand that. They demonstrate their insecure/dysfunctional (and or cheating) relationships with their mandatory hand-holding whenever in public to let everyone know they are a couple, as if anyone give a fuck! You’re in a major city where people are anonymous. Nobody gives a fuck who you’re with, los pendejos. And while you pretend to be a mandatory hand-holding couple on weekends in The Castro especially, are one or both of you cheating on the other during the week? Chau.—el barrio rosa


I want to go back in the closet

“Best bar in Castro for Closeted Gays”

Are gays going back in the closet?

Closeted Gays moving into San Francisco’s Castro

West Hollywood puts the Rainbow Flag back in the closet

7 comments on ““Proud To Be Going Straight.” At Gay Pride?

  1. CraigW

    I read other SF blogs and nobody and I mean nobody writes about what you write about having to do with the gay community and how our community is regressing in many ways. I tried commenting in a polite manner on one activist blog asking why he didn’t address some of these topics that you write about and he blocked my comments…I didn’t mention you. None of these local bloggers have once addressed these problems.

    1. rosa_barrio Post author

      Hola Craig, yes I’m aware of what you’re talking about. Those blogs turned me off years ago. These days, I only go to them a few times a year, if that, just to see if they’ve ended their self-imposed gag order on talking about these GLBTQ topics I write about. No, if anything, they’re becoming more and more sanitised. Three of them are mealy-mouthed in the style of npr and seem afraid of offending The Establishment while they pretend to be “activists.” Your experience is identical to mine and it’s one reason why years ago I started mi diario/my public diary pink barrio/el barrio rosa, so I could write about these things, say what I want and say it the way I want to say it, and tell it like it is and know that it will be published. On one of those blogs one has to be registered with that particular blogging system in order to comment. I wasn’t about to do that. I’ve made it as easy as possible for people to comment here. With another blog, one can supposedly comment there unless one says something that the blogger disagrees with (and I’m not talking about hate speech). I tried to comment on his blog a few times but he refused to publish my comments. The last time I was there one could still comment but he had no comments. I can see why. So I got tired of wasting my time writing polite comments that never appeared. So I said: Well fuck you all! I know what you’re about, Misters Status Quo. One of them (a Queer guy) refused to post my polite comment about the “straight” invasion of The Castro. Another “activist” blogger has mentioned it in passing once, but that was the extent of it. So I don’t bother with any of them any more. Oh, and another local blogger turned his comment section over to the conservatives (anti-homeless, pro-tech, pro-Real Estate Industrial Complex and their Corrupt Liars, anti-rent control, anti-tenant, anti-Old City and our wonderful artists who were forced out, pro-wealthy/1%….that crowd of basura). So he’s part of the problem while he charades as a “progressive.” He’s no progressive in the original sense of the word. He’s a pro-Establishment Dembot.

      Gracias, Craig. Chau.—el barrio rosa

  2. strangetimes

    it is really strange that a gay guy would make a point of using gay pride sunday in san francisco to very publicly announce that he’s going straight, or trying to, with the use of a sign about it. he definitely has sexual identity issues and from what you’re seeing many others do too.

    very strangetimes.

  3. E in Sunnyvale

    “Proud to be Going Straight” sign around his neck?!? Honestly, I would absolutely have confronted him about it and asked exactly what he was doing there in the Castro.

  4. Alejandro

    Hoooooooooooola. You’ve written about this before but I had glossed over it. I’m home today and have Azteca TV on. On VLA which is on at noon here all of the show’s host are in black, white and gray except for the blond chica y she’s in a red dress. The dancers are in gray, black and white. One of the show’s host is now singing wearing white shirt and black jacket. I definitely noticed this after you pointed it out. I came here to say gracias for the update on yesteday. What to think about the ‘proud to be going straight’ signage at gay pride?


  5. Former San Franciscan

    From some of the things I’ve heard from friends who still live there, that “proud to be going straight” doesn’t surprise me.

  6. D8

    The str8 hand holding looks auto pilot. It doesn’t look affectionate. It looks like something they’ve been taught they’re to do. I don’t see gay couples holding hands that often but when I see it it looks more real and sincere. What looks really odd is that height difference with str8 couples. That seems taught too. The dude is at least a head taller than she. Looks so silly. He’s way up there and she’s way down here. My parents and their str8 friend couples were the same height.

    I don’t doubt what you said about the peer pressure with gay guys to be str8. I think that’s a very likely possibility.

Fin. The End.