The New San Francisco: A city of copycat pregnancies and where the “straights” love to breed like mosquitoes, and where no one “wears their baby.”
Hola. All the babies and baby stroller brigades. Ugh. Everywhere you look. jesus fucking christ. Is no one using birth control anymore? Obviously not. We’re going backwards in that regard too, are we? Oh yes, why not! Due to (tech) gentrification, San Francisco has gone from the former “Proudly Radical and Alternative” City that once cared about social issues such as overpopulation to this New City that doesn’t give a fuck about anything but greed, corporate sports teams, being sanitised and mainstream like every other place.
There are the gigantic baby strollers. One thing is clear: Parents of this New Conservative Lobotomised Techie San Francisco — where did these (techie) zombies come from? — do not want what is best for their child otherwise they would be “wearing their baby.” You can read about “wearing your baby” here and here. The mother would be “wearing” one baby and the father would be “wearing” the second baby. As you’ll read at those links above, “wearing one’s baby” is healthier and much better for the child. But what’s better for the child doesn’t seem to concern or interest these parents because I rarely see anyone “wearing their baby.” Instead, we have brigades/fleets of baby strollers clogging our sidewalks which wouldn’t be the case at all if parents “wore their babies.” If I had a baby, I would not put my baby in a stroller because the stroller would make me feel distant to my child and vice versa, rather than “wearing my baby” which encourages the bonding (among many other things) that is critical between parent and child. How does a parent bond with a fucking stroller that is being pushed around like a shopping cart, or have these clueless parents never thought about that? Strollers get in people’s way all the time. But as mi amigo/my friend said: Isn’t that’s the main reason people use strollers? I think so. So that they can get in people’s way thereby giving the parent and the baby attention that the parent (usually the needy-mother) craves and expects from people. Why bother having a baby if nobody is going to look at it?! And of course everyone’s baby is “special,” and “different” than anyone else’s, and above all other babies. That’s the thinking of most parents. Some of these strollers look more like condominiums in size. Then there are the (what I call) Podium Strollers. That’s where the baby is propped up — halfway between a sitting position and a lying position — on the stroller as if the stroller is a podium and the needy and narcissistic mother is trying to display her child so she can get full advantage and all the attention she desperately craves from others as — if all goes as planned — people gushingly “oooo and aaaaaah” over her baby. In reality, it’s just another baby. But again, the thinking seems to be: If nobody gives my baby attention, why did I even bother going through all that work and effort to have a baby?! I think much of this is “copy-cat pregnancies,” which goes something like this in this New City (and elsewhere):
Short, stupid-sounding Valley-Girl her says to tall-him: “Honey, I like talked with (fill in name of friend) today and like she like told me she is now like pregnant. Isn’t that like totally like cool like? She’s like going to like have a like baby. I’m like so like totally like happy for them. I’m like wouldn’t it like be cool like if we like had a baby like too like and I could like be like pregnant like at like the same time like she is and like she and I could like compare our pregnancies like and our pussies? (A copycat pregnancy). And I’m like our little one could like play with their’s. Totally like cool like, huh, honey? I’m like it will like totally be sooooooooooooo much fun like, honey. And I’m like we like will be sooooooooooooo totally much like happier like with a baby honey. I’m like this is totally like cool like. Let’s like have a like baby too, honey.”
(Woman, where did you learn to talk and how do you hold a job talking like that? Unfortunately, that is a common style of speech in this new city. The obsession with the word “like” or “I’m like” is about every-other-word, or with other people it’s about every fourth or fifth word. These parents also walk in la lluvia/the rain – what little la lluvia we have had — with their babies without umbrellas. We locals have never seen anything like it before).
Assuming her partner got any of that with all that stupid-sound Valley-Girl “like” nonsense in there, at this point a red light should go off in his head, but it usually doesn’t. He usually goes along with this “copycat pregnancy” scheme. Yes muchacha, it’s a lot of fun to get up in the middle of the night multiple times at all hours to change diapers and to deal with a loudly screaming child and then try to work the next day with interrupted sleep. You’ll love it, you’ll really love it! You don’t know what you’re missing by not having that, muchacha! Who wouldn’t want that? And because someone you know is following the “Copycat Pregnancy Stroller Brigade” Script because it’s the latest fad and thing to do, you have to also, correct muchacha? You could adopt, you know, if you’re so desperate for a child and have been brainwashed by your family and society that you must have a child or you’re not anybody or you’re not a “complete person” without a child (roll eyes). There are two things one must have to be anybody today: A loudly screaming child in a huge condo-sized stroller and a
smartphone stupidphone (and this New Techie San Francisco believes that everyone should: “Live their lives in and on their phone” and “Never take your eyes off that screen” even when you’re being mugged). Mi amigo has noticed that the baby can be screaming at the highest decibel level, but the one thing that will take the mother’s attention away from her screaming child in that huge stroller is that stupidphone the mother has her nose buried in. She then becomes oblivious to her child.
My message to these people:
ALTO/PARE/STOP. STOP RIGHT THERE. You shouldn’t be squeezing out babies to “be so much happier” in your relationship. Work on your relationship — or split up — first before you squeeze out a baby. If your relationship needs to, “be so much happier” you need to work on that before you pop out a baby. Don’t use a baby as psychotherapy for your (dysfunctional?) relationship because the child will end up suffering. Having a baby is not all “fun,” and about self-absorbed, self-entitled and needy you, la mujer. But you know, so many idiot parents do just that. Thousands of relationships end in divorce with him paying child support payments for roughly the next 18 years in many cases because of this thinking. And let’s tell it like it is: the baby is really all about getting tax breaks and subsidies from the government.
Some of us are wondering: Has the condom industry completely collapsed? It is obvious that no one believes in birth control in the New Conservative, Lobotomised and Techie San Francisco. The parents here today are mainly young and white or Asian, and many of them (if not most) sound just as stupid as my example up above.
The Daily Baby ReportTM
Every time mi amigo/my friend comes back from his walks or going to his gym or anywhere really, he gives me The Daily Baby ReportTM. And it’s nearly always the same, except for one thing. The number of babies and stroller brigades he’s seeing each time is increasing in number. These parents have their babies out for display in la lluvia/the rain without umbrellas and out en las temperaturas frías/in cold temperatures. The baby is getting soaked with lluvia because the oblivious parent is on her stupidphone in la lluvia. Loco. These lobotomised basura are oblivious to rain and cold weather and they’ll do anything for attention and to show off that baby. Mi amigo says that sometimes the baby has a stupidphone too so it can get addicted to the thing at a real early age. (Aren’t most children today by the age of 7 addicted to a stupidphone?) Then there’s the ubiquitous and required two Golden Retrievers or two Black Labradors — these sheeple have to choose the same dogs everyone else has — tagging along behind the baby stroller(s). Also, with these people, everything has to be big. They come with this “US Big” mentality that they been brainwashed with probably from the US corporate media. They have to have the biggest and tallest black SUV (the things look like a tall hearse), the biggest sterile-looking cookie-cutter condo, the biggest dogs, the biggest stollers. It’s all about Big with these people.
These self-absorbed and self-entitled parents also live under some illusion that they have private ownership to the sidewalks in San Francisco and are entitled to use every space on the sidewalk so that nobody else can get by these assholes without walking out in the street, which I and mi amigo often have to do.
In the Old “Proudly Radical and Alternative” City — which I can confirm no longer exists because the lobotomised and culture-less techies and their predatory venture-capitalist billionaire-owned companies have ruined San Francisco — I often heard it said that there were very few children in San Francisco. No one can say that now.
Who Would Deliberately Move To A Drought Area?
Answer: Stupid people.
Our historic drought is continuing and I and others are wondering where these self-absorbed assholes who are pumping out babies think they’re going to get agua/water for their babies or themselves in the future? The people I’m talking about are the new zombie residents of San Francisco. And why would someone deliberately move to a drought area? Are these people really that fucking clueless and oblivious? Don’t they listen to any noticias/news at all? Deliberately moving to a drought area doesn’t sound very intelligent does it? And aren’t some of these people (or most of them?) the techie zombies who we are repeatedly told are such “geniuses?” Well, supposed “geniuses” and intelligent people wouldn’t have a hobby of breeding like mosquitoes in an already over-populated mundo/world nor would they deliberately move to a drought area.
The way it worked in past decades in San Francisco is that when children got to a certain age the parents moved out of the city citing various reasons, such as: (Short-her said to Tall-him): “Honey, you know I’ve been thinking, don’t you think it would be better for our little (fill in name of child or children they’ve already pumped out) if s/he had a bigger house to play in, had their own rooms and a nice open front and back yard with lots of room to play in with the other neighbourhood children (unspoken: of the same income bracket of course) and better schools? (Also unspoken: A nice ‘wholesome’ conservative and white area.) At which point, tall-him is supposed to answer: Well yes honey, that does sound quite appealing and much better than where we’re living now. Maybe we should move to the country to get all that. (Why the fuck didn’t you move to the country to begin with? Duh.)
Assuming these new residents repeat much of that script of the previous paragraph, el barrio rosa/pink barrio says to them: GOOD IDEA. CAN YOU LEAVE TOMORROW? You don’t have to live here to have a real estate liar sell your $1MILLION PLUS USD Luxury Designer Condo (Dahling) for you or that excessively over-priced moldy home you suckers fell for when you moved in here. Take your bougi, expensive status-symbol vehicle(s) with you. Now, how soon can we expect you assholes to be out of here? By the end of the week, possibly? With your excessive, lavish wealth that you enjoy throwing around (on $3.00 cake-cutting fees, for example) and all the dinero/money you claim to have in your corporate “portfolio” (Dahling), you could hire a company to pack your bougi/pretentious things for you. So all you really have to do is pack up all your strollers and all that baby paraphernalia/gunk/mess — I do realise that could take weeks in itself — and then get the hell out of here, no? We indeed look forward to it, I can assure you.
But the problem these days seems to be that as soon as one group of “straight” basura leave, here comes another group of “straight” breeders who are hell-bent on repeating the entire process all over again. This seems to especially be the case in The Castro and Upper Market areas, the former Gay Mecca. (Related: Why many GLBTQs resent “straights” coming to gay areas).
Yes, the “straights” move to San Francisco — of all places — to squeeze out babies. WTF is that about? Why do they feel they must move to the most expensive city in the US — San Francisco — to fuck and have babies? Or have the corporate media on the East Coast or somewhere heavily promoted that the latest trend — meaning stupid fad for shallow and superficial people who live their life by the latest fad — is for “straight” couples to move to so-called “Innovative San Francisco” to pump out babies? I have read that expression (“Innovation San Francisco”) in articles about how tech has ruined this city. Is that what’s going on? Or, is this their way of “marking their territory” and helping to change/erase the gay reputation that San Francisco once had (and still has to some people who haven’t been paying attention)?
Note to self-absorbed and self-entitled “straight” basura: It’s okay to have sex/fuck, but birth control is highly advisable as well as “wearing your baby.” Where have you heard or read information to the contrary? Unfortunately, birth control and “wearing one’s baby” is not part of the repertoire of these assholes. Chau.—el barrio rosa