The Closeted Queer Community (2017)

Why I no longer write about Queer topics, and why am I now using the word “Queer?” Well that’s because there’s no hierarchy or politics involved in the word “Queer,” as opposed to the hierarchy of that “LGBT” nonsense that’s saturated all over the internet. Also, Queers (and the word Queer) make breeders nervous and we enjoy every minute of it. (smile)

Hola a todos. Some readers have asked me via e-mail: Why are you no longer writing about Queer topics? That’s because I don’t see any reason to. Why should I bother? I’ve written about Queer topics for years and it didn’t do any good. Nothing changed for the positive. There’s nothing else to say about it. Only a few people seem to care in the big scheme of things. As with some other topics I used to write about, I seem to be “fighting an uphill battle” or “a lost cause.” That’s how it feels to me. Several examples that come to mind explaining this and some of which overlap:

I’ve become disgusted with what the Queer community has become, and I’d rather write about things that don’t annoy or disgust me. It’s healthier/less stressful for me to do that. Today, the Queer community is mostly DISCREET (translation: closeted), conservative, pro-corporatist, pro-Establishment, DISCREET, mainstream, DISCREET, non-alternative, DISCREET, non-proudly radical, sanitised, DISCREET, shallow sheeple trying to be like the boring and often conservative mainstream breeders. Queers today are the DISCREET opposite of who they were during the decades of the (now-dead) NON-DISCREET and proudly-radical Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement. Some examples:

1. Monitoring television programming: one would think that the entire world consists of breeders. One gets the impression there’s not one openly Queer person en el mundo/in the world other than that heteronormative, corporatist, pro-Establishment, Obamabot and god Ellen daily promoting silly, dumbed-down and “stupid-is-in” and making millions: Ellen DeGeneres Receives Weekly Salary of $1.2 Million doing so. $1.2 Million a week? Outrageous. For being stupid? Whenever I see her in YouTube promotions of her show she’s wearing all black or black/gray or all white. Ms Conformist. La mujer/The woman didn’t care how many immigrants the Deporter-in-Chief Obama had deported or how many breeders and Queers Mr Nobel Peace Prize had droned or killed in other parts of the world in his 8 wars as she gushed over Obama at every opportunity. Or is she oblivious to all that? And I know Anderson Cooper is an openly-Queer boy, but I’m making a point here. Most of the (closeted) Queer people before network cameras pretend to be breeders. They refuse to come out of the closet and announce that they’re Queer. There are a lot of Queer people out there, but the public is led to believe those people are breeders because they refuse to come out of the closet. Despite some advances that have been made for Queers over the decades, those advances are not reflected in the overwhelming majority of corporate network television programming. And with the insane Orange Man at the controls, expect those advances to be eroded or disappear altogether. He’s already begun eroding Transgender rights. All the programming on the español language networks I monitor is breeder-based. I am so tired of seeing him fawning over her, him making out with her, him holding needy-her’s hand, him holding her chin, him playing with her hair, her running over to him for more attention with one foot up in the back (she’s perched on one foot) desperate for more attention, and him doing other things with her when it’s more than obvious to me and my reliable Queerdar that “him” is really a closeted Queer boy pretending to be a breeder. Such as the breeder-based dating programme that started on TV Azteca en CDMX recently in the afternoons. According to my Queerdar, I’ve seen one closet case Queer boy after the other on there wanting to date a female. (roll eyes). Is this stuff for real or is it staged just to create a programme? Do they ever have real dates on there? I don’t know. Mi amigo/My Queer friend says the same about the closet cases on television. In all of the Latino/Hispano/mexicano community, I only know of TWO (2) Queer boys that are out of the closet. Just TWO. That’s it. Those two are Ricky Martín (Enrique Martín Morales) and Christian Chávez (José Christian Chávez Garza). All the others are closet cases despite the public being fed the wishful-thinking lie that “gay is now mainstream.” Yeah sure it is. That’s why I constantly read anti-Queer comments on political message forums and YouTube videos and everywhere else. “Gay is so mainstream” that Queers are saturated all over my television. NOT!

I don’t watch the English-language networks but I would guess that they’re no different. I suspect 99% of the programming on those networks is breeder-based too. In the last few months I’ve read about one or two of those corporate networks planning to do a “gay programme” or bring back one they did in the past. At which point, some shallow, corporatist Queer organisation jumped up and down in celebration about this. Get. A. Grip. As some of us see it, it’s nothing but a “flash in the pan” in the big scheme of things and nothing to get excited about. Too often with these rare “gay programmes,” or when they feature a person who is supposedly Queer, they merely show stereotypical Queer guys and lesbians to continue outdated stereotypes. I’ll get excited when corporate networks change their programming to where a large segment of their programming is Queer-based. But I’m not holding my breathe for that to happen. These little “token” gay programmes are meaningless — and usually shallow — in the big scheme of things as far as some of us are concerned.

2. The public — including Queers — use that cookie-cutter/corporatist “LGBT” acronym nonsense because that’s what’s been drilled into them by them seeing that all over the internet. Even the anti-Queer far-right use “LGBT.” Some of us can’t stand the “LGBT” nonsense for several reasons:

1) to begin with, it leaves out Queers entirely since there is no “Q” on the end…whatever nutball dreamed it up was prejudice against Queers. Some of us are surprised that the “T” is still there and that they haven’t chopped that off yet considering the hate for Transgender individuals.

2) “LGBT” is the hijacking of the original Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement by lesbians when they were not the dominant group of the moment so why are they getting “top-billing?” and

3) I saw a few people recently asking: “What’s wrong with you gay guys? Why are you giving “top billing” to lesbians? Why are you allowing that when you did most of the work during the Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement?” Agreed. Yes, I fail to understand why lesbians get top billing. That makes no sense to me. Also recently, I read that the “L” was put first by one of those corporatist gay media organisations because lesbians were feeling neglected. (roll eyes) Oh the poor things. It grieves me so to hear that. [sarcasm intended] Well if their ass had done more during the Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement they wouldn’t feel neglected. They deserve what they get, which is second billing as in GLBTQ, if one must use any acronym. That’s the way it should be written: GLBTQ. But personally, I’m starting to use the word Queer instead of any letters at all since this topic and acronyms feel like a lost cause to me.

3. The Queer community to me and other Queers now seems dead and closeted, hence the title of this article. The Queer community has gone from proudly-radical and “out and proud” to proudly discreet which means either you’re closeted and/or cheating on somebody.

As I’ve written many times before, looking at men-for-men personal sex ads on the site I call ClosetList, most Queers (guys) describe themselves as “discreet” (translation: closeted and/or cheating on someone). Most Queers also describe themselves as “bi” when they’re really gay. Why do I say that? Because human sexuality does not change so drastically and so quickly to where thousands and thousands of guys worldwide go from being Queer to bi. That just doesn’t happen. But these fake-”bi” guys with their internalised homophobia seem to think that “bi” makes them sound more like a breeder, more masculine, more manly, more macho, and more obnoxious-jock even though these guys have no interest at all in females. But in today’s world, lying and deception are in especially in personal sex ads where hardly anything is real about those. Again, for the thick people, calling oneself “bi” when one is really gay is a form of internalised homophobia because one is ashamed of the word “gay.” To be clear, I’m not talking about the guys who are genuinely bisexual. I’m talking about the “bi” frauds. Didn’t most Queers work through this years ago during the decades of the Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement? Apparently not. And some of us see a major rise in internalised homophobia in the Queer community today. It’s really pathetic what the Queer community has turned into. Mi amigo said the other day: “I get the impression that most Queer people are back in the closet.” Uh huh. That’s the impression I get too in the former Gay Mecca of San Francisco.

4. Just like with the breeders, most Queers today are wearing all-black or black and gray. What happened to the pretty Rainbow Flag colours, Queer boys? You’re now ashamed of those because the breeders don’t wear them? Why are you so adamantly trying to be like the breeders? Again, internalised homophobia? Just because some misguided los pendejos in some corporate Queer (media) organisation(s) told you to “assimilate” after gay marriage became legal in The Cesspool/the US? Today, it seems that most Queers consider the Rainbow Flag to be “too gay.” Yet another example of what I mean by going back in the closet with internalised homophobia. It’s as if Queers consider wearing colour an indicator that they’re Queer rather than a breeder, and we can’t have that! No, the breeders are wearing all-black and/or black and gray and looking like white nationalists and/or depressed zombies, so the conformist Queers apparently think they must do the same to “fit in” and “assimilate” with/be like the boring and conservative breeders. Translation: Going back in the closet.

5. In tech-zombie San Francisco, no one cruises anyone any longer. One’s phone addiction has replaced all cruising. Mi amigo (a Queer boy) has told me repeatedly about how he has made the mistake of fleetingly glancing at another guy on the sidewalk who apparently turns out to be a breeder and the guy gives mi amigo a very disapproving, snarling angry look as if he’s about to say, “don’t you look at me you faggot.” Sigh. This anti-Queer behaviour did not happen often in the former San Francisco of the expired Gay Mecca. This behaviour is happening in the new Breeder and Baby Stroller Mecca and here which has taken over and replaced the former Gay Mecca. I should point out that people who are secure with themselves and their sexuality would not respond the way these breeder basura respond just because another guy happens to fleetingly look at them. Los pendejos.

[The following paragraph was added after I posted the article to respond to some e-mails enquiries I received.]: One may be asking: Who is directly responsible for this (new) closeted behaviour? Well, other than the Queer community itself, in large part I and other Queers lay this directly on those Queer US corporatist (media) organisations with their bloated executive $alarie$ who serve as self-appointed omnipotent authorities on all matters related to wealthy(ier) Queers. Some of them are the same basura who threw the Transgender community “under the bus” some years ago. These national corporatist Queer organisations (who shall remain nameless) worship the wealthy and that’s who they serve. Basura. In fact, one of those corporatist Queer organisations recently honoured a billionaire tech company owner here in San Francisco at their annual bougi lah-ti-dah dinner. This dinner came with an outrageous price tag per plate while some homeless people — some of them Queer homeless people? — with nothing to eat were lying on the streets within the vicinity of this elitist event. These class-ist Queer organisations couldn’t care less about poor Queers. These Queer corporatist organisations are the same corporatist trash that served as shills and hacks for their messiah Obama for 8 years and the thoroughly corrupt and imperialistic Democratic Party. These one-issue organisations served as cheer-leaders for their messiah Obama even when he was expanding the heinous policies of the illegitimate Bush/Cheney regime — or were los pendejos of these Queer organisations oblivious of that? — and when Obama was killing Queers and breeders in other parts of the world in his 8 wars. Mr Nobel Peace Prize Obama left office with 8 wars in progress or did these corporatists Queers not know that either? Or did they justify and excuse his wars because with partisan Democrats war is only bad when there’s a Republican in office? Hypocrites! (I can’t stand partisans). From what I and other Queers gather, these Queer organisations are the same corporatist basura who dreamed up that “LGBT” nonsense which is spammed all over the internet. I and the Queers that I know have no use for any of these well-known, disciples-of-the-wealthy national corporatist Queer organisations for many reasons, including the reasons I’ve listed. We Queers get the impression that one or more of these Queer corporatist organisations sent out a memo or some communication to all media and news organisations ordering them from henceforth and forever more to use “LGBT” whenever they write anything having to do with Queer topics. Also, some if not all of these Queer organisations told/ordered Queers to “assimilate” with the breeders when Queer marriage became legal in The Cesspool/Los Estados Unidos/The US. That’s the worst thing they could have done because many, if not most, Queers misinterpreted “assimilate” to mean go back in the closet. And I say that because that is what has happened. There was some direct correlation between Queers going back in the closet and Queer marriage becoming legal, which is damn odd and very ironic. As some of us Queers see it, it’s as if Queer marriage/same-gender marriage has backfired. Rather than remaining the proudly-radical and activist Queers that they were of the now-dead Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement, since that US Supreme Court ruling most Queers have tried their best to become the opposite of who they were, as if ashamed of and apologetic for their past. They have become more like the mainstream/conservative breeder sheeple, as if the breeders are to be modeled after and to be set on a pedestal as an example to be followed. Screw that! Why should the breeders be modeled after considering their dysfunctional relationships, their dysfunctional behavior and their constant arguing as can be seen in San Francisco’s Castro, and their over 50% divorce rate in the US? As history has shown, when Queers are in the minority among the majority (and in many cases anti-Queer) breeders, many Queers go back in the closet not feeling comfortable being themselves among the majority breeders, as is now the case today in The Breeder and Baby Stroller Mecca of San Francisco, formerly known as the Queer Mecca.

So in conclusion, to me this all seems like “an uphill battle” led by one person (me) and supported by a few other concerned people. But no one else seems to give a fuck. I’m tired of it and tired of wasting my time writing about it when clearly things continue to keep going backwards towards the 1940s. (Related: Gay “Assimilation:” Back to the 1950s). I do have one other Queer article I’ve written and already posted. It’s about mi amigo/my friend and his experience with the fake-Queer Trump supporters. You can read that at that link.

From our experience, all we see are breeders making out, or Queers (both guys and females) trying to pretend to be breeders and heteronormative so that no one will possibly think that they are Queer because we know how awful that is, right? More internalised homophobia. I was in a store the other night and this guy ahead of me in line had to lean down and give this female he was with a lengthy kiss at the register. I thought: Oh here we go. He had to let us all know they are breeders. I told mi amigo about it and he said: “Well, the female always needs attention and that’s probably what he was doing. He was just doing his obligation otherwise he’d never hear the end of it!” In today’s San Francisco’s Castro, I now do a double-take when I see two guys kissing or making out because it is so rare to see that. I even stop to watch briefly and appreciate them because it’s such a rare sight to see these days here in The Breeder and Baby Stroller Mecca. (Have these breeders never heard of birth control of any kind?) These days, when I see two people from a distance, I expect them to be breeders kissing or making out or nearly uncontrollably having sex on the sidewalk (as if they just met) in The Castro.

San Francisco’s Castro has been ruined. The Castro today is nothing like it was when I moved here during the height of the Gay Mecca days. Get this: Can you believe that a group of Queers a year or so ago started a project to Queer The Castro? It hasn’t worked and it’s not about to, but that’s how bad it’s gotten here with prudish and in some cases anti-Queer breeders taking over The Castro. And the local conservative Queers have served as their accomplices and enablers. The local conservative Queers clearly prefer living with other breeders rather than with other Queers. More internalised homophobia?

In the Old City of the Gay Mecca, it used to be that Queer boys and Queer couples walked by my window talking. Now it’s breeders with loud and/or screaming children walking by my window talking. Or more baby strollers going by. And it seems to be a requirement with breeders that he has to be 3-4 feet taller than she — from my research that’s her ridiculous requirement — and she has to be submissive to him as if she’s living in the Victorian era where females are supposed to be dainty, submissive and subservient to guys (in order to get his attention that needy and high-maintenance her constantly demands from him).

Our little group of non-closeted and proudly-rad Queers have been discussing among ourselves whether the majority of Queers will have to have their rights eroded or removed completely to get them out of the closet again and off their electronic leashes and to return to the vigilance and activism of the decades of the former Gay and Lesbian Rights’ Movement? But from what I see of the apathetic and closeted Queer community today, I’m not holding my breathe that any of that is about to happen anytime soon. Because the attitude of most Queers today seems to be, “I’m like whatever like” and “I got the most hysterical text message just now…where’s the next party?” And the most overused word in The Castro today is the ubiquitous word “like.” Most people have completely ruined their speech to integrate the word “like” throughout their speaking in order to “fit in” and be accepted by the stupid-is-in majority. The most stupid-sounding people live here now. It’s extremely rare to hear any intelligent or intellectual conversations at all. Intellectual is out. Stupid is in.

As of this writing, one of the US corporate media networks is doing a mini-series — some of us consider it another “flash in the pan” — being billed as a LGBT Queer (my word choice) mini-series. Will they be interviewing the heteronormative, self-appointed corporatist authorities that dreamed up that “LGBT” crap? Mi amigo and I don’t plan to watch it. I think the thing is probably a superficial programme about the now-dead Gay Rights’ Movement, and they’ll likely give the false impression that the Movement is still going. Yes of course it is [sarcasm intended], that’s why Queers are “discreet” and back in the closet, or at least behaving that way. It doesn’t really matter what this mini-series is about as far as some of us are concerned. As soon as I read “LGBT” in the headline for it, I clicked off. I’ve had it up to here with that. When they use that, you know it’s going to be corporate and especially considering it’s on a corporate network. No gracias. Frankly, I don’t care what this mini-series is about considering who’s doing it. I’m so disgusted with it all. I’ve seen a couple of billboards for this programme in San Francisco’s Castro. Apparently clueless advertisers don’t know that The Castro is now the Breeder and Baby Stroller Mecca and no longer the Queer Mecca. I wouldn’t think there would be much, if any, interest in this programme in today’s “discreet,” conservative and heteronormative Castro. When it airs, they’ll probably have media crews in The Breeder and Baby Stroller Mecca talking with some of the remaining Queers still living here to “get their take” on this mini-series. Before their cameras will likely appear the usual “celebrities” that are dragged out on cue and seen as “authorities” on all Queer matters. Some of whom consider themselves to be “progressives” — even though they vote just like Establishment Democrats at election time — and they also use the conformist/pro-Establishment non-progressive/corporatist “LGBT” acronym in their writings and speaking.

I remember when “Milk” (the story of Harvey Milk) was filmed here and all the hate the producers received from conservative locals (including conservative Queers), and the many merchants who would not cooperate with the producers. I and the people I know were disgusted and embarrassed by the behaviour of The Castro during the filming of Milk. And Milk was filmed during the Gay Mecca years. That experience was very revealing to some of us Old City people. It told us how The Castro was becoming very conservative and was clearly losing itself and heading in a negative direction, and has led us to the sanitised, cold/unfriendly, fake, lobotomised and very conservative Castro of today despite all the Rainbow Flags around here solely for tourist/marketing purposes to give the illusion that The Castro is still a Queer Mecca. Chau.—el barrio rosa

50 comments on “The Closeted Queer Community (2017)

  1. Sean

    LGBT is such a turnoff for me. It’s so overused, I see it everywhere so much so that it doesn’t really have any meaning any more. There’s no originality in it. As someone said, it looks like a logo. When I see it in a headline it doesn’t make me want to read the article. I used to see people writing “Gay and Lesbian” even when they used LGBT, but now I’m seeing “Lesbian and Gay” used more which to me is just so backwards, mundane, dull, uninteresting and unappealing.

    Add me to the list of those who say: I am not LGBT. I am Queer.

  2. We're Queer

    We read your article about ‘What was the ultimate goal of the gay rights movement?” and I and my partner came to the same conclusion as you. Since gay marriage became legal in the United States the gay rights movement has died. Don’t see much if anything going on now. Marriage was the “ultimate goal” and nothing left to work on. Sure don’t agree with that but just want to say that your conclusion is the way it seems to us too.

  3. Queer Larry

    I thought it was just me that didn’t like the LGBT thing. Also want to say that humans in general worldwide are constantly bombarded with male is to be with female and female is to be with male. It doesn’t matter if there’s an attraction there or not. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Many young people are so insecure with themselves and dont yet know themselves that a guy will hook up with a female just because that’s what he’s been taught he’s to do. That’s what his buddies in school do because they’ve been taught the same. It’s brainwashing. Guys are supposed to like vagina whether they do or not. If they don’t, there’s something wrong with them. He’s considered “a little funny.” Females are supposed to like penis whether they do or not. It ends there. You must be a breeder (I like that word you used). Males and females are to get married whether they want to or not because their families are happy they finally found “the right girl” and “the right guy.” Since “breeder brainwashing” is what we queers are dealing with is there any wonder why so many people are screwed up in the head?

    1. corporate branding of queers

      agree. ‘lgbt’ has become the corporate branding of the queer community although i’ve read this site enough to know that it says there’s no longer any queer community because there’s no sense of community anymore. good point. i’ve written comments on other sites about their use of ‘lgbt’ and how it’s not true to our original queer history, but they don’t care. they refuse to change it. it’s like they got their orders to use it and that’s what they’re going to use. ‘lbgt’ seems to be set in stone now. it almost looks like a logo. the 4 letters. it looks so unoriginal because its used everywhere….except this site to its credit. at least there are thinking people here. :-)

  4. Nobody You Know

    I see no cruising in the Castro anymore but sometimes see cruising elsewhere in the City but it’s done in a way that’s reminiscent of the way cruising was done in the 1950s.

    Despite all the reassurances we’ve heard about gay is now mainstream most queers don’t believe that…. judging by their closeted behavior.

    “Out and Proud” was just a protesting slogan for the movement back in the day.

    All queers including the closet cases should read this article. It’ll likely piss some people off because, heh, the truth hurts.

    1. D8

      Conversion Therapy:

      Being Queer is so “mainstream” that some parents in the U.S. are concerned that their child might be Queer that they’re taking the extreme measure of sending their child to programs promising to change their child’s sexual orientation. ABC News visited some of the organizations across the country in a year-long investigation. They found that in some cases, the methods used by these organizations range from simply controversial to extremely cruel.

  5. All the closet cases

    Read today about a popular parenting site run by breeders, well, not really. Turns out the breeders who’ve been married nearly 20 years and who have 3 kids together are getting a divorce because he’s Queer. Didn’t say how the 3 kids came about. Through artificial insemination or did he force himself to have sex with her as many Queer closet cases married to women do? She said his sexual orientation was “our little secret.” Oh plezzzzze! Big sigh. The positive to all this is that at least one closet case has come out of the closet. Was on a political site recently and one of the Trumpies said “there are very few gay people in the world.” That’s what I’d expect them to say. I’m beginning to think that most of the world is Queer but in the closet especially the Trumpies.

  6. Diego

    I watched part of that show on TV Azteca you wrote about – that breeder dating show that goes on for 2 hours. It was sooooooooooo obvious to me that some of those guys are Queer. I was sitting watching it thinking how many los chicos go on this show pretending to be breeders just so they can be on television? Even that staff guy with the beard acts “so gay” but pretends to be a breeder and the host could pass as a lesbian. I could only take so much of it and turned it off.

  7. Greg

    I can go with the word Queer. I like that.

    One thing you used to see often here in San Francisco back in the mecca days is when Queer guys got together or met each other they would kiss and hug one another either on the lips or on the cheek. It was just something we did and enjoyed doing and it made us feel closer instantly even if we were meeting for the first time or getting together with old friends. Sorry to say that’s all gone too. I don’t see that anymore anywhere. Never see it at my gym near the Castro. The only people kissing and hugging at my gym are the breeders.

    THis article is really spot-on in describing how backwards the Queer community has gone….back into the closet.

  8. Ed in the Castro

    As pink barrio has pointed out many times, Queers in San Francisco’s Castro have been fed the lie that “Queer people can live anywhere.” They said “gay people” but I’m now using the word Queer. This lie has come from the conservative Castro merchants like that a-hole that owns or did own (I don’t know which) what used to be that popular Queer coffee joint on the north side of Market Street near Castro. Now I think the clientele is mostly breeders. Since pb may not want the name of that business on here, the initials are “CF.” I remember when that a-hole was interviewed and said “Queer people can live anywhere and there’s no longer a need for gay meccas.” Other conservative merchants and conservative Queers repeated that lie as they made the ‘stro a neigborhood welcoming the breeders. That a-hole also led the anti-homeless sit-lie campaign in the neighborhood.

    I’d like to e-mail this story to him….

    File this story under “Queer people can live anywhere.”

    2 transgender women were killed in New Orleans in 48 hours
    New Orleans’ transgender community is on edge after two transgender women were killed within 48 hours of each other.
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/02/us/new-orleans-transgender-homicides/index.html

    1. D8

      I think it’s time that Queers of all varieties get the idea that it’s time to live together in Queer meccas to protect one another, such as when San Francisco was a Queer Mecca. They protected each other from bullies, anti-Queer harassing politicians, cops and other hateful people. This idea that “gays can live anywhere” is a bunch of horse shit. It’s a good way to get yourself killed.

      1. Queer Berkeley

        Def agree with that. We just had a major riot in Berkeley today. People for and against Trump. I think we had better hurry up and decide where Queers are going to live as a group for the next several years. I have no doubt that Trump will come after the Queer community soon the way he’s dividing this country. It looks like to me as if we’re going into civil war. The “alt-right” or Nazis versus everyone else, and that includes Queers of all types.

  9. castro local

    was watching this show on television and the female host welcomed her female guest. when they met they kissed each other on the cheek. when the male host welcomes male guests they shake hands. no kissing each other on the cheek as you see men do in other parts of the world. it got me thinking how fuked up things are here in the united states when it comes to males and male sexuality and what’s acceptable for males to do. yet there’s a very different standard for females. it’s okay for two little girls to kiss and hold hands, but two little boys don’t dare do the same because “boys are not supposed to hold hands and kiss each other.” they’re considered “sissies” but when little girls do the same they’re not considered “sissies.” when it comes to boys, they teach them early how to be heteronormative. considering all that, is there any wonder why most queers are so closeted today? not justifying it but pointing out the double standards between the genders.

    1. César

      They do start them early. There’s a show on Univisión that comes to mind that’s an example of that. They have a children’s competition and I think it’s on every night M-F. The children have been taught to be like adults which I’m not sure is healthy for them. Is this robbing them of their childhood? When they have their dance competition a little boy is dancing with a little girl. They both look very young. He looks like he’s maybe about 6 years old, but they’re all children. Even their dance routine looks like what adults do with the little boy picking up the little girl and flipping her around. Are little boys that age that muscularly developed to be doing these adult-style routines? It all seems questionable to me. The audience and judges oooooooooooh and aaaaaaaaaaah throughout and find it so funny and “cute” because they’re children. The whole show is hetero-normative and the breeder thinking that a male is to be with a female and vice versa is being very embedded into these children at this very early age. I find it all troubling. This shouldn’t surprise me because Univisión is a hetero-normative network with closeted Queer boys cast in roles with, making out with and very affectionate with females. The only time one sees a Queer guy making it obvious that that’s his role is in a Queer-stereotypical role. Like this article accurately states, the impression given is that the entire world is full of only breeders. There’s also their chauvinism with all females in skin-tight dresses showing big boobs and ass but the guys are forced to be all covered up, usually in corporate suits and ties.

  10. Queer boi

    For pink barrio,

    You get no troll comments? No disagreeing comments? How do you manage that?

    Btw you have the best looking comment section I’ve ever seen. So pretty. Never seen one like it before anywhere.

    1. el barrio rosa Post author

      Hola Queer boi,

      I get some troll comments, but readers don’t see them because I delete them. Troll comments usually automatically go into the spam filter where I read them and then delete them. (Sometimes the good comments go into the spam filter too for some reason.) The way I feel about it is that trolls have the run of the internet and have already turned most online comment sections into an unreadable cesspool, so they don’t need mi diario/my diary/pink barrio for that purpose. So you’re not likely to read troll comments here.

      One is free to disagree with me in a friendly way. If they disagree, I ask that people not be an asshole about it because that will likely mean that one’s comment won’t appear on mi diario. But fortunately I have a very good group of commenters who are respectful, intelligent and mature.

      Gracias for your compliment about the comment section. I like the colours. I don’t know how they look on your screen but they’re supposed to be hot pink, turquoise and lime. Very Latin. It was not easy to set up, I can tell you that! Which is probably why you don’t see it anywhere else.

      Muchas gracias to everyone for your comments. Chau.

      1. E in Sunnyvale

        And another kind thank you from me – this site is the *only* site where I actually read the comments section (aside from 2 or 3 communities on reddit). Literally everywhere else is, as you said, an unreadable cesspool – usually dripping with hate and ignorance. So thank you for providing this space where reasoned and intelligent conversation and expression can happen!

        Muchas gracias
        ~E

        1. el barrio rosa Post author

          Hola E,

          Gracias for that. It’s nice to have you as a commenter. Gracias. Chau.

  11. César

    Hola, the queer community is in the midst of an identity crisis, imo. They don’t know who they are as they did “back in the day” of the movement. The “bi” thing is just a fad. Many queer guys think it sounds cool and hip to say they’re bi but put a pussy in their face and they’d run out the room. Not one of them has ever seen a pussy or smelled it. I think they would have a different opinion of it if they did..;..RANK! It’s really hard to know who is queer and who’s a breeder now because queers are trying to look like breeders. One of my lesbian friends says she can’t tell who’s a lesbian anymore because lesbians are trying to look like breeder women. She said she read that some lesbians are going to breeder bars but have no interest in men. Some breeder guys are trying to look like some kind of quasi-hipster queer guy. In other words, things are really fucked up now. Another drawback with this factor where people are trying to look all the same is that there’s no sense of queer community anymore because you can’t tell who is queer and who’s not. Your queerdar can tell you a guy is queer but he’ll be a closet case and deny it. Make a pass at the wrong person and you can be hit with some really negative consequences.

  12. FedUp!

    Was scanning your article again and came across the new paragraph you added. I thought I had missed it the first time around until I read what you wrote. I had meant to write a comment about that and who’s responsible.

    I agree that something happened, it’s hard to describe it but something definitely happened in the mindset of the Queer Community following the marriage verdict. I noticed it but I didn’t read anybody else talking about it but you. Something psychoanalytically happened in a negative way (you used the word “backfired”) to the Queer Community but I can’t find the words to use to describe what happened. I’m glad you added that new part, it saved me from having to do so, and as usual thanks for telling it like it is!!

    Oh BTW, not only do those organizations not care about poor people, they don’t care about Queer homeless youth and the suicide rate either. Their “care” is limited to elitist people just like themselves.

  13. Queer boi

    The gay or rather Queer community is their own worst enemy because of their own closeted-ness. They take out anger on the Queer community because they just can’t come out themselves. That pretty much says it all.

  14. Queer boi

    March 1, 2017 – Arkansas Senate OKs Anti-Gay Marriage, Abortion Proposals
    Yesterday, the Arkansas Senate approved two measures it previously rejected calling for a convention of states. It would require 34 states to amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage and a woman’s right to have an abortion nationwide. The measure goes to the House next and requires approval of both chambers. Doesn’t require any action from the governor and the governor would not have power to veto them. Be interesting to see if they get the 34 states required for a constitutional convention.

    What will the Queer community do? I’ll take a guess. My guess is that they’ll continue their status quo of acting like breeders.

  15. Wes in Arlington

    Thought everyone might like to know that npr has had five anti-Queer stories just this week alone. They’ve provided bigots with air time, including anti-trans stories where they interviewed trans phobic people in Virginia in one story.

  16. Queer boi

    Pleased to read this post & to read you’ve decided to suspend with the use of those letters and use the word Queer. Matches my screen name. :-) I too fought those silly acronyms for years but finally gave up feeling hopeless that I wasn’t changing anyone’s mind. Most people dont care. Most people today want to conform. I came here from a site that’s using conformist “LGBT” in articles and some conformist commenters using “LGBTQ.” I felt like writing a comment there using an acronym with every letter in the alphabet but concluded no one would get it and I’d get a “huh?” and get banned. Said fuck it.

    What’s happened to San Francisco doesn’t surprise me but putting myself in your shoes, I’d be pissed too.

    1. D8

      While reading that article, in the back of my mind I kept thinking about one constant theme. That’s the theme that the conservative merchants and residents around here in the Castro have yelled at us for years as to why we no longer need gay meccas and why we should get rid of them (including the Castr0 and let the breeders take them over as has happened here. Queer conservative homeowners have joined in this. They’ve yelled at us: “Gay people can live anywhere.” Sure, gay people can easily live in Texas and other places. That article definitely confirms that, doesn’t it?! :-(

  17. Alejandro

    ” Such as the breeder-based dating programme that started on TV Azteca recently in the afternoons. According to my Queerdar, I’ve seen one closet case Queer boy after the other on there wanting to date a female. (roll eyes). Is this stuff for real or is it staged just to create a programme? Do they ever have real dates on there? ”

    Hooooooooooooola. Oh I know – I’ve seen all the closet cases on that show too. With some of them it’s just so obvious. Makes me change the channel.

  18. D8

    speaking of closeted: I forget which article it was, but pink barrio has written about the small-town, sexually fucked up thinking of guys of the 20-30s age group in major U.S. cities. Here’s a personal I read from a guy aged 30 which reminded me of that: “Str8 bi curious bros looking to bust a nut over some pussy porn. Please be discreet and keep this between the two of us.” I’m sorry but I don’t get the part about “please be discreet and keep this between the two of us.” I remember pink barrio asking – “who cares what these two guys do sexually as consenting adults?” Agreed. They make it sound like it’s a crime for two guys to hang out and j/o over porn. Why so closeted? Under the orange man that made be a crime in the future but at this time it’s not. Or is being discreeet and super secretive part of a sexual turn-on for some people? I read a lot of that “keep this between the two of us” like they’re living in pre-Stonewall days, and these guys are in big cities with this small-town, prying eyes thinking.

  19. Cole Valley Resident

    I’ve been guilty of using the LGBT order of the letters just because “it’s all over the internet.” Yep. That’s where I picked it up like many others I would guess. I never stopped to think that it’s disrespecting the history of the gay and lesbian rights movement. Very insightful. I understand why you’re now using queer and that’s cool. I’ll either start using that or GLBTQ. Have to think about it. Your post definitely has caused me to think, and have to admit that the queer community is in a sad state partly of their own doing which I’m getting that a lot of people don’t want to admit.

    Oh and Ellen makes that much money a week??????????? What does she do that is worth that amount of money? There are some real injustices in the world.

    1. E in Sunnyvale

      Arguing about the order of letters is really not productive at all and I think using “Queer” is the best way to go about it. By the same token, I can argue that it should be TGLBQ since the queer rights “revolution” began at Compton’s in 1966 by transgender people who were being harassed by police. Later at Stonewall, it was the same scenario. So arguing about which letter should come first will just lead to more argument and it’s kind of silly I think. Just my $0.02.

      ~E

      1. castro local

        some would say that the queer rights revolution began seven years earlier with the 1959 riot at cooper’s donuts. like compton’s, cooper’s donuts was an all-night hangout for trans folk (they were called hair fairies then) and other queers. both compton’s and cooper’s riots involved coffee cups being thrown at cops. i’d like to have seen that! i can’t see a repeat of that rad history (cooper’s, compton’s or stonewall). there’s nothing rad about the queer community today. boringly comformist.

        agree it is probably pointless to even mention the order of the letters anymore. feels like a waste of time. maybe if enough of us simply use Queer that will catch on. i understand why pink barrio has been vigilant on the letter order up until now but it does seem like a hopeless cause.

  20. Y

    Very good points made in the article. Something told me “dont’ read the comments” which is a daily self-warning I give myself, but this time my curiosity got the best of me. Amazingly this site has a very good group of people commenting. Very thoughtful and respectful. Not what I expected.

  21. bi dude

    >>> To be clear, I’m not talking about the guys who are genuinely bisexual. I’m talking about the “bi” frauds. <<<

    glad you said that because i was beginning to get pissed that you were talking about all bi guys.. i'm bi…..really i am but unique i think. i'm not into women….i'm sexually turned on by pussy but not by females if that makes sense. the thing is i can't deal with all the unstable abrupt emotional baggage that comes with females where she can be one way one minute and can be the opposite emotion another minute like a light switch was turned on or off and i haven't said or done anything. it's all her. i've had that happen with i'd say most females i've dated. i know the guys you're talking about that you call bi frauds. i've dated many guys because they said they were bi but turned out they weren't bi. soon as i turned on pussy porn their dick would go limp and it just wasn't doing it for them. agree that many dudes are ashamed of being called gay now. i think many guys give fem connotations to the word gay….really weird. they think bi makes them sound more macho. that didn't used to be important to gay guys. must be another sign of the times.

    1. E in Sunnyvale

      I kind of fit into the “bi” category myself as I’ve had relationships with both. Maybe “pansexual/asexual” would be a better word to describe me as I don’t give a hoot about a person’s gender – if there’s chemistry, then it happens. I’m not really sexually turned on by peoples’ genitals though :) What gets me going is a combination of: #1 – personality; #2 – my intuition about the person; #3 – healthy physique. Yep, intuition and my “emotional compass” are a big factor, especially if there’s a chance a solid relationship may develop.

      Speaking of emotional compasses, yes, mine swings a bit: i can’t deal with all the unstable abrupt emotional baggage that comes with females where she can be one way one minute and can be the opposite emotion another minute

      This made me kind of laugh and nod my head in agreement as well as want to hide shamefully in the corner as I can be (and very often am) exactly like this. Believe me, estrogen and progesterone are a bitch (but a beautiful bitch that saved my life so far) :)

      Also, I don’t get the obsession with so many guys feeling the need to be a “bro” these days. Those are precisely the type of guys I want nothing much to do with as there tends to be that overly aggressive jock-wannabe attitude that comes along with it. As a transwoman, they won’t have anything to do with me anyway because of their archaic notions about gender. Not my kind of people. I don’t mind otherwise if a guy is masculine or a bit fem, it’s just the testosterone overload that bothers me.

      In general, I like guys/girls/trans/whatever that are not afraid to be who they are or go against the grain, as long as it’s in a positive way with a good nature.

      ~E

  22. All the closet cases

    The group of people I have the most trouble with as far as closeted people goes and their fucking up other people’s lives are the young guys (20s-30s) who think that if they marry a women, get her pregnant and have a couple of kids that this proves without a doubt that he’s a breeder and not queer. We see this with celebrity actors and singers….like the tv personalities. I read about one singer like that tonight. My gaydar immediately told me he’s gay when I saw his pic, Won’t give his name but he’s in Hollywood and his wife is from England. She wants to stay in England. After the baby is born he wants his family to live in Hollywood, so they’re already in major conflict. She’s in tears. There’s online talk that he’s gay. He denies it which is a typical closet case. The guy and others like him continues to stay in the closet and fuck up his young life and other peoples lives by having unwanted children just to try to convince people that he’s not gay. The head of internalized homophobia rears up again. After guys like this go through a few wives and having more kids they have quite a tally of kids in a broken home situation to support and pay child support for. Just because the closeted asshole refused to honor his true sexuality. In private, like other closet cases he’s jacking off thinking about guys and screwing around with guys on the side and being ‘discreet’ refusing to come out just like all the other 1,000s of gay guys who call themselves straight in those gay sex ads you talked about who are looking to suck dick or get fucked or fuck.

  23. Alejandro

    Hoooooooooooola. Maybe the Queer Community will haul their collective asses out of the closet when The Tyrant overturns gay marriage by executive order.

    Gracias y saludos, pink barrio.

    1. Wes in Arlington

      I don’t doubt gay marriage will be overturned, but I wouldn’t bet on the Queer community coming out of the closet after it happens. Like pink barrio, I have little confidence in them anymore. There might be some short term protests initially, but lame describes them these days as far as long term vigilance goes. They don’t seem to have it anymore.

      1. E in Sunnyvale

        Protests don’t do a whole lot of good when a) the media doesn’t cover them (or cover them enough), b) since reagan years, there’s no more equal time access to media to bring the issue up when the corporate media won’t do it, c) if there are demonstrations, the cops show up and shut it down or escalate to violence.

        All this combined makes it easy for the ruling class to completely ignore any opposition.

      2. Former San Franciscan

        My 2 cents: when gay marriage is overturned it won’t surprise me if it’s done without protests of any kind. If there are some brief protests they won’t do anything just like the anti-Trump protests. I think any protests would go the way of the anti-Trump protests which seem to be dying out in the U.S. Europe is more activist than the U.S.

  24. FedUp!

    Re the sex ads, the word “normal” has come back into vogue usually with the jock-types. They say they’re a normal dude or they’re looking for a normal dude. The word “normal” went out of vogue during the Gay Rights movement days because “normal” sent the wrong message that there were abnormal gay guys out there which fed into the thinking that being gay was an illness during those dark days. It seems that the guys now using “normal” think there are some abnormal gay guys out there. :-( Or is “normal” code for something that I’m not aware of? The more feminine and overweight guys also have a hard time of it where you see “no fats or fems” in ads. But there is a gruop into the more overweight guys and they’re looking for bear types. It’s almost as if the Queer comunity has pushed the fem guys under the bus or back in the closet wanting nothing to do with them. Very messed up times we’re living in. Agree with another commenter that it’s commendable that pink barrio writes about this since no one else dares to do so.

    1. Ed in the Castro

      Ive noticed all that. It would be really interesting (if not depressing) to know how many gay guys in the Castro and Upper Market are now forcing themselves to have sex with women because being a breeder is now “in” here. When I’m walking my dog I see guys who look queer to me but they go out of their way to avoid any eye contact with me. They start to look very uncomfortable even though I’ve done or said nothing. The guy is usually with a woman and 9 times out of 10 he immediately grabs her hand to let me know he’s with her and she calls him “honey.”

  25. strangetimes

    a very frank and honest article which i think all of those corporatist national organizations who pretend to speak for and represent certain (wealthier) queers need to read.

    strangetimes

  26. San Francisco Resident

    I’ve been to several gay weddings, and the thing I noticed about each one was how they went out of their way to copy traditional breeder (I like that word too :-) ) marriage ceremonies. I didn’t say this to the couples because I wouldn’t want to dare offend them but their weddings screamed of “we want to be just like the breeders.” They were nice and all but there was nothing original about any of them. I got the sense they had watched videos of breeder marriages and copied them to a T. I’m sure there are some Queer weddings which are more original and non-conventional, but I’ve not been to any.

    Completely understand the reason for this article and include me in that small group who shares your frustration that you wrote about. Regards.

  27. Greg

    Adding to what you wrote:

    *All* the advertizing I see online shows him and her together. Same on TV. Him and her walking on the beach holding hands. Gag.

  28. Ed in the Castro

    This article and many others on this site violates the unspoken sacrosanct rules of what one does not write about or talk about in polite company, and I’m glad somebody somewhere has the courage and gumption to violate such rules. “Anybody with a brain” should be able to see how fuked up and closeted the breeder-emulating Queer community has become. They disgust me too!! I’m glad you’ve decided to use Queer and not those letters. How much longer are these acronyms going to get? I also adore your adopting the term breeders.

  29. D8

    I follow the local SF queer scene and “professional activists” and not a one of them have said a word about this. Have they not noticed the closeted queer community of today?? If they have they self-imposed a gag order not to ever talk about it. You’re the only one and yet they’re the people who call themselves “activists.”

  30. castro local

    sadly, i agree. i read a review of that mini-series and it didn’t get a good review. i won’t be watching it either. the castro is not a fun place anymore. they’ve so ruined it. if i could afford to move out of here to another part of the city i would but with the rent prices today, no way!!! my little group of queer friends have noticed and talked about the gay community seeming to be very closeted now. there’s no cruising on the streets like the old days. i guess if you’re closeted you can’t cruise, right?! i know you’ve written about this before and as far as i’m concerned you can’t write about it too much. it needs to keep being said. i understand your frustrations and appreciate what you do, and just so you iknow i have enjoyed your music articles even though i haven’t commented on them. i regret never studying music. i know of your conservatory and choral background and knowledge so in a sense i feel like i’m sorta studying music with you when you write about it. your article about the tehran musicians was quite an eye-opener.

Fin. The End.