The Illusion That Gay People Can Live Anywhere

UPDATE: El 26 de mayo de 2016/26 May 2016: Hola. Just wanted to update this: As of this writing, eleven US states have filed a lawsuit opposing Obama’s “order” that transgender students be allowed to use the bathroom that matches their gender identify in US public schools. Mr “I’ve Evolved” Obama got involved in this because it’s an election year and he wants more campaign donation$ from the gullible GLBTQ community (and I have no doubt the donations will flow in), and he wants people to vote for corporate parasites of the undemocratic Democratic Party especially the presumed nominee (Ms Clinton) of that corrupt party. Well, Fort Worth Texas is one place that is especially pissed-off over this transgender toilet thing. I read this quote: “Many, though, admitted that they felt that change on issues like same-sex marriage had happened too fast and was against their beliefs.” Well, that’s often the case with bigots. Happened top fast? You mean, happened at all. It could have taken another 50 years and you’d still be saying it “happened too fast.” And it’s against your beliefs? Well that’s your problem. If you weren’t a prejudiced bigot it wouldn’t be against your beliefs, pendejo. The bigots say that “allowing transgenders to choose their toilet could lead to women and children being attacked because they fear that men could pose as transgenders and use legal protections as a cover.” I swear, you bigots are something else! You’re constantly living in fear of some imaginary predator. Afraid of your own shadow. I have no patience for you. Get out of my face! Don’t the bathrooms have locked stalls and partitions between urinals in redneck and prejudiced Texas? If so, what’s the problem? There’s little chance of interaction between people. And with the bathrooms I’ve been in, people don’t make eye contact with others in bathrooms. It’s not a lounge. The bigots are planning to fight la casa blanca/the white house on this. I don’t think they’ll get too far because the inJustice Department (that’s usually what it is) is supporting the Obama regime on this. You know, it’s just so comforting to me that GLBTQs can now live anywhere and we are so accepted anywhere and there’s just so much luv for us, and we are “mainstream.” It just warms mi corazón/my heart when I think about it. [sarcasm intended]. Chau.—el barrio rosa

Original Article:

Hola a todos. A survey of 96,000 people — that’s quite a lot of people — in fifty-three member states of the United Nations has revealed that two-thirds of adults would not approve of their child revealing that they were gay or lesbian and in love with someone of the same gender. Really? But we’ve been told over and over that “Gay is now mainstream and gay people can live anywhere..” I’ve challenged that ludicrous statement repeatedly here on pink barrio. Gay people might be able to live anywhere in the closet but even that’s questionable, and I see nothing but heteronormative programming — him holding hands and making out with her (ugh) — on the corporate media television networks that I monitor. And the current heated controversy in the US over transgender access to public bathrooms shows that’s GLBTQs cannot at all live anywhere openly and honestly.

The International Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association conducted that survey. The survey overall found that there are “deeply entrenched heteronormative concepts of sexual orientation and gender identity.” Really? Who would have guessed that? From what we GLBTQs have been told, I’ve been under the distinct impression that GLBTQs are warmly and lovingly accepted anywhere now. “We’re mainstream.” Haven’t you come away with the same impression? [sarcasm intended]. You can read more about this survey in the UK Guardian.

So, let this put to rest the delusional wishful-thinking/lie that we’ve heard for sometime now from the conservative idiots (including GLBTQs) in San Francisco’s former Gay Mecca known as The Castro that “there’s no longer a need for gay meccas because gay people can live anywhere now…gay is now mainstream.” Ha!

I should point out that the conservatives have never liked gay areas of cities to begin with and referred to them pejoratively as “gay ghettos.”

Speaking of “gays can live anywhere:” Most people in the US think it’s illegal to fire a person for being gay. They’re wrong. In more than half of the 50 states of The Cesspool/the US/los Estados Unidos, it is currently legal for an employer to fire an employee for being gay. Fortunately, we have sexual orientation and gender identity protection here in California. But only 21 states of the 50 states and the District of Columbia make it illegal to fire employees for their sexual orientation. Of those 21 states, 18 of them and the District also ban firing transgender employees. As for this “Gay is now mainstream and gay people can live anywhere” nonsense, that’s true only in some people’s dreamstate.

Then there’s this prudish bathroom stuff. jesus fucking christ! The Cesspool/The US is such a fucked-up country when it comes to human sexuality, nudity and anything having to do with the human body other than keeping the human body completely clothed like a nun so as not to “show skin.” Did you hear about this?: “Woman Harassed in Bathroom for Appearing Transgender — and She’s Not Alone.” What the fuck difference does it make what bathroom somebody uses? If you’re secure with yourself and your own sexuality you would have no problem using a Unisex bathroom where both men and women use it, like in Japón/Nihon/Japan and other countries. It seems to be mainly fucked-up-in-the-head insecure guys who don’t want someone to see their “pee pee.” Ugh. No one gives a fuck about your “pee pee.” I am sick to death of insecure guys worried about their small “pee pee” being seen by somebody. There are all these imaginary predators in these bathrooms according to the lunatics opposing the right for transgenders to use the bathroom of their choice. I’ve never had anyone approach me in a public bathroom and I don’t know anyone who has. I don’t care what bathroom they use and neither should you if you’re secure with yourself as a person (and your own sexuality).

The Cesspool/The US: (Sigh.) UGH! What a fucked-up country.

I welcome transgenders to use whatever bathroom you’re most comfortable using and take your time. And feel free to use any part of my website that you want. Feel free to comment and say whatever you’d like, and you can make it as long or as short as you want. There’s plenty of space here. Chau.—el barrio rosa


Why many GLBTQs resent “straights” coming to gay areas

“Gay People Can Live Anywhere? Gay Is Now Mainstream?”

More of “Gay is now Mainstream”

Gay “Assimilation:” Back to the 1950s

The Fucked-Up US Public: Gay Legal Rights=Good; Gays Kissing=Bad

11 comments on “The Illusion That Gay People Can Live Anywhere

  1. DC Resident

    From reading your posts, I know you once lived here. Here is not much different than there now.

    I think you would be disappointed with how the District has changed. Like in SF, the gay bars in DC are not as as good as they were….many have closed. There are a few places to hang out and dance and drink such as Cobalt, JR’s and Town … but not as many places as you would think. Not that many more than when you lived here. If you want to party and club, Metro doesn’t cut it for late night partying and getting home safely. Gay men here are in cliques but that’s always been the case and with racial segregation. Many gay men seem to hate lesbians and many lesbians don’t like gay men. Nothing new there either. There’s always been a group of lesbians who hate men in general.

    If you don’t live in the District it’s pretty difficult coming into town from VA or MD driving: expect a ticket. Best to take Metro. Some District residents like to brag and say that you’ll see gay couples holding hands in any of the neighborhoods, but I don’t know where they’re seeing this. I don’t know where all these highly visible gay people are. They’re not out in the suburbs. You don’t see them in Virginia and you’ve written about backwards Virginia. Cruising on the streets? Can’t do that anymore either like the “good old days.” I read where you wrote you don’t see that in the Castro anymore.

    The District is a very liberal city and that’s one of the best things about DC. But when it comes to fun, DC is a pretty conservative city as it was when you lived here. Think: a perpetual dormitory and lots of house parties, or maybe room parties. That’s all people can afford. They drink and talk college and politics, in the hopes of getting laid.

    Gay guys they all wear the same thing and god forbid if you’re over 5% bodyfat. With gentrification Logan Circle has replaced Dupont Circle as the gay area. In the “good old days” if you wanted to be around gay life you went down to Dupont once upon a time and spent time at a gay bookstore or hung out in several gay bars and find a crowd. Now it’s boring to go anywhere. I have no idea where to go and hang out if I want to be around just gay people. Sometimes you just need to be around your own and shut out the hetero world for a while.

    In DC today you’ll find entitled, judgmental, white, cisgendered gay men. There’s a real lack of integration and the level of snobbery is quite amazing.

    That gay people can live openly anywhere is most definitely an illusion. As we have supposedly become more free and equal, we also have become more invisible (like back in the closet) and isolated from each other.

    Appreciate all you’ve written about SF in so much detail which I haven’t read anywhere else, and how SF has changed. It’s helped me realize how the two cities are now so similar. I know SF has been overrun by tech junkies. Some tech has moved into the District but not to the degree it has in SF, thank god.

  2. David in Breuckelen

    I know this article is not about San Francisco but it’s really sad to hear what’s happened to the City by the Bay. Please correct me If I’m wrong but from what my sources tell me there’s nothing left of the city that San Francisco was so well known for. There’s nothing there now. I heard that the 2016 presidential candidates are campaigning elsewhere in the Bay Area, they’re not going to San Francisco – not worth their time. The city’s activism is all but dead. Latin musicians now perform in the South Bay, they don’t perform in the city. The city rich culture is gone. Today it’s all about tech and sports – there’s nothing else there. I’ve read your articles and should I mention the demise of the gay community? How could they let this happen to what was once such a special and unique city to so many people around the world?

    Anyone care to confirm this?

    1. rosa_barrio Post author

      Hola David, I thought someone else might respond to you and that’s why I wasn’t, but since no one is, I’ll respond:

      Your sources are correct. Regarding the Latin musicians performing in the South Bay, specifically San José : I first noticed that several years ago when Univisión-14 (the San Francisco affiliate) began going all the way down to San José to hold their events instead of having their events in San Francisco. That surprised me. That’s when I first noticed things had changed so drastically re the gentrified-out-of-the-City Latino/Hispano community, and from what I’ve seen since Latino artists are not coming to San Francisco. They’re routinely going to San José. And Telemundo is based in San José. We still have the San Francisco Opera (I don’t pay any attention to opera) and the San Francisco Symphony. The last time I checked their performances, their schedule looked like Davies Symphony Hall is dark a lot and the Symphony is performing more “pop” music and Disney stuff (dumbing-down in other words like many other major symphony orchestras in The Cesspool/the US are doing). And it didn’t look like the Symphony Chorus is performing as much, whereas Boston’s Tanglewood Festival Chorus (not one of my favourites) has a busier performance schedule with the Boston Symphony Orchestra. But I hear that (some) tech is moving to Boston and Seattle, so Boston may end up changing the way San Francisco has unfortunately changed. You mentioned tech and sports. It’s specifically expensive corporate sports that the sheeple (including the gay community) in San Francisco are all wrapped up with. I fail to understand how people can get so excited — to the point of screaming at the “top of their lungs” — over wealthy men playing with balls and making millions, and then there are the idiots who pay these outrageous prices for game tickets. Mi amigo told me that on his walk around The Castro last night there was a game with lots of loud screaming (men and women) at the televisions in the bars showing Los Gigantes. It looks like the team is finally winning a few games somehow. The gay community had no interest in corporate sports in the Old City. But since they’ve been ordered to “assimilate” and because there’s nothing here now but corporate sports and tech junkies (as one of my commenters accurately described them), what remains of the gay community think it’s “in, cool and hip” to be sports jocks (or at least pretend to be) so that’s their new hobby along with their tech phone addiction. Today’s Castro? It’s where “straight” couples come to party, hold hands, make out, get drunk, throw up on the sidewalk and on the windows of businesses and then stumble to their Luxury Designer Condo (Dahling). The only words in their vocabulary are the words “he’s like, she’s like, it’s like. Like, like, like.” And I hear the same from what remains of the gay community. Stupid-sounding people. Why would people ruin their speech to sound idiotic? I had heard that Hillary, Bernie and Trump are not coming to The City but going elsewhere in the Bay Area. Also, San Francisco’s major art supply store recently closed and moved to a smaller space in Oakland. I think their business had crashed as most of the Old City artists have been gentrified out of The City to Oakland and elsewhere. They also lost their lease (greedy developers are going to build a Luxury Designer Condo building there…we can’t have enough of those it seems). San Francisco no longer has an art supply store to my knowledge. Gracias. Chau.

      1. Ed in the Castro

        The corporate sports team obsession is tacky nationalism at a local level. The thing is that when people relocate they drop their ‘allegiance’ to the team where they lived and get gung-ho on the new team. The gay community used to be about arts and culture with social conscience. Not today. With assimilation they’ve become all mainstream and part of the problem which is easier than standing for things that are important.

  3. D8

    Want to make you aware of this. Despite gay allegedly being mainstream (NOT!!), it’s no longer mainstream in SF’s Castro. I went by Rock Hard, the best sex store in the Castro yesterday. For the first time since they’ve been open they had no gay sex videos in their window, a regular feature in their window for years. Since the Castro began changing Rock Hard have been harrased by the cops after being called by prude neighbors who don’t want to see anything sexually “explicit.” We’re talking about San Francisco’s Castro and not Topeka Kansas but the sex-phobic mindset’s the same. For years Rock Hard has been forced to cover up gay video covers with white stickers so no penis or butt shots were showing to offend the locals. I went in there one day and asked about it because I wanted to know why all the white stickers? They told me it was because of the cops continued harrasing them. I don’t know for sure why they no longer have any gay sex vids in their windows. Maybe there was another crackdown. I think there was another crackdown on the homeless recently. Or maybe they got fed up and tired of having to white sticker video covers but they now only have 4 video covers in their window and they’re as tame as a library book…nothing sexually explicit on them at all.

    The sanitizing of the Castro.continues just when you thought there was nothing left to be sanitized.

  4. Tate

    Why is it that every time I go to the Castro I’ll be waiting for a light to change and in front of me I see this guy dipping a female way down and laying a big long kiss on her lips ___ and___ the guy looks gay to me. wtf? The light changes and they walk across the street holding hands. This happened to me last week in the Castro when I was there. This is the main reason I don’t hang in the Castro much any more. But if we were to go over to their neighborhood and have a big make out session they’d be all up in arms – even make it into the local news that these radical gays are making out in their neighborhood and this actually did happen in the past when ACTUP! would do kiss-ins in intersections. If gay was mainstream gay and lesbian couples could go anywhere and make out with a big long kiss just like the straights do in the Castro without any problems but I think we know that’s not possible for gays and lesbians to do safely. Thanks for your strong support of the trans community.

    1. E in Sunnyvale

      “kiss-ins at intersections”… yes, this is something I’d absolutely love to see. I wonder what it’d take to get people motivated to have a go at this (especially doing so in the wealthier areas of the city)…?

    2. castro local

      i live in the castro and don’t go out much around here for the same reason. a friend and i saw the same thing yesterday afternoon a block from castro. this gay? guy leaning this woman way back with her head almost touching the sidewalk and laying this heavy-duty kiss on her lips. is this a new fad that i missed? when it started i said to my friend ‘here we go with the str8 make out scene.’ he said ‘that seems to only happen when i’m with you for some reason.’ the light changed and they take off holding hands. there were a couple of other people waiting for the light to change who saw this. one guy turned around and looked in our direction with this bewildered look on his face like he was thinking the same thing i was.

      i’ve been here since the 70s and never used to see this until the castro changed. what’s with the closet case? guy looking like he’s gay making out with a woman that i’ve come to have to prepare myself for? my friend said ‘that dude will probably come out of the closet in about 20 years.’ things are really fucked up now. would love to see queer kiss-ins esp in wealthy areas but i won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen…..anywhere.

    3. Former San Franciscan

      Sadly, it sounds like gay guys pretending to be straight, “assimilating” and all heteronormative as this site has writen lots about. Another way of putting it – going back in the closet. It’s quite shocking to read about what has happened to my former San Francisco. I would never have imagined it when I lived there.

  5. E in Sunnyvale


    Quote: ‘I should point out that the conservatives have never liked gay areas of cities to begin with and referred to them pejoratively as “gay ghettos.”’

    Here’s an article I was reading last night that deals with this “restructuring” of cities – it focuses on the displacement of radical communities and their replacement by conservatives, but with a slight shift in the wording applies equally well to what’s happened to the GLBTQ communities in SF and other cities:

    Quote: “What the fuck difference does it make what bathroom somebody uses?”

    As a trans person who is now forced to worry about going to the f’ing bathroom (yeah, even here in “liberal” california), my mind is blown when I see *gendered* single-use bathrooms. Really?!? Only ONE PERSON can use it at a time, but still they have to be separated by gender. WTF is wrong with people?

    Now, I’ve never actually had a problem in a bathroom either, but now I need to be cautious due to all the notoriety that the subject has been given. Trans visibility is a double-edged sword, and things started to take a turn for the negative right around the time Caitlyn J*nner (that conservative piece of work) made her announcement (with much spectacle, of course). That’s about the time when the worms started crawling out from under their rocks… Personally, I think we were making much better progress when we were somewhat less in the spotlight.

    Quote: “I welcome transgenders to use whatever bathroom you’re most comfortable using and take your time.”

    El Barrio Rosa for el Presidente! *grin*


Fin. The End.