Why don’t the Millennials paint their face black?

Hola a todos. It should be abundantly clear to everyone at this point in time — at least to those who have been paying attention — that the Millennial trash are extremely obsessed with the colour black. Well, they’re obsessed with black and grey, but mainly black. (The Millennials: The Generation with a Dress Code). I don’t know who started this stupid and ludicrous fad but like a bunch of conformist sheeple, no matter where you look the Millennials are in lockstep with wearing cult-all-black (or black and drab grey) every day of the year, without exception. Period. They even wear black and or grey when jogging (even at night) which makes them extremely easy for motorists and cyclists to see. [sarcasm intended]. Millennial cyclists are also wearing all-black or black and grey (even at night) and often without any bike lights. Stupid is in.

But there’s something missing and the Millennials don’t seem to have realised this. Why don’t they all wear black make-up and paint their white face black, since they’re possessed, obsessed, fixated and addicted with black?

I saw this female just before I wrote this article. She had blond hair. She was in Millennial all-black (from the neck down) and was pushing the usual oversized Millennial black baby stroller. Presumably she enjoys baking that baby at 350 degrees whenever it’s scorching hot out in that black baby stroller. But as is typical with the Millennials, conformity is more important to them than their comfort level (or the comfort level of their baby). They adamantly prefer to wear all-black and sweat bullets when it’s hot out than to be in a cooler colour. And for those who don’t know, all-black baby strollers are the most recent conformist fad of these air-head Millennials. Everyone has one. Whenever I see a baby stroller in San Francisco, it’s black. Or black and white striped. But black has to be the dominant colour. So I looked at this woman from a distance and I saw all-black, except for her white face. And I thought: How odd. Why hasn’t she painted her face black to match all the rest? Why does she and all other Millennials leave their face white? Just thought I’d ask. That seems to be a good question. And let’s not forget their gigantic black SUVs — with one person in the thing as they’re driving while on their black phone — and their sanitised blindly-white walled (with black and grey accessories) Luxury Designer Condos, Dahling.

Clearly, the Millennials are terrified of pretty and beautiful (Latin) colours.

In this context, black equates with being lazy and being non-creative because 365 days a year, these Millennial zombies wear a black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black underwear, black bra, black socks, black nylons, black tights, black hat, black stiletto heels, black purse, black glasses, black lipstick, black nail polish, black rings, black earrings, and so forth. So why the white face? Why leave your face white? And when everything is black, one doesn’t have to use one’s brain and think about what one will wear. Just buy all-black clothing and all-black accessories, and you’re all set to look like a mindless black Millennial zombie every day of the year (of course with a black phone cemented to your hand). You’re also prepared to go to the next funeral upon a moment’s notice.

Maybe black face-painting will be the next shallow fad we see from these conformist, lobotomised Millennial trash. Chau.—el barrio rosa

Related:

Millennials: Are they as miserable as they look?

2 comments on “Why don’t the Millennials paint their face black?

  1. castro local

    interesting you say that. i once used to see the opposite of that on the metro here in sf. there was this asian woman who got off at castro station and she always wore white face paint or white makeup. maybe she wanted to be white, don’t know, but she painted her f ace white and i mean it was white like white paint, not skin-toned.

    i’ve seen lots of black and gray nail polish. nothing pretty about that but it does fit the cult look you mentioned.

    Reply
    1. E in Sunnyvale

      Black nail polish was “going against the establishment” back in the 80s and 90s. Now it IS the establishment. Last time I wore black nail polish was to a goth club many moons ago. Once or twice on halloween, too.

      Reply

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