Based on what we see in San Francisco, most people are trying to look like everyone else. Conform! Obey! Wear Black & Gray.”
Hola a todos. “Has anyone else noticed how difficult it is to tell who is ‘straight’ and who’s gay these days?” “Yes!,” everyone at our table nearly screamed. It was unanimous. And that ended up being one of the topics we talked about when our little group of GLBTQ San Franciscans got together last week. I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but here in sanitised and now-conservative San Francisco it’s hard to tell who is “straight” and who’s gay these days.
It was not difficult to tell who was gay during the Gay Mecca decades. There were all sorts of ways of telling if a guy was gay from his earrings, a Rainbow Flag on his clothing or on his shoulder bag somewhere, or some saying on a button he was wearing related to something of that day. Gay guys of that time were not ashamed of their sexuality as they seem to be today, having gone backwards. They’ve gone so far as to remove the Rainbow Flag buttons from their shoulder bags and backpacks. It would seem that they don’t want to be seen or known as gay. During the Gay Mecca days, gay boys even had a colour code handkerchief system of what they were into sexually so when another Queer boy saw that guy’s handerchief, he knew there was definitely a gay boy there and what he was into sexually. So there wasn’t all this guessing going on which is such a waste of time. But since then, things have done a “180.” Closet doors have re-opened. Rainbow Flags have gone back in the closet and/or in the drawer. The guys of the gay community of today have pretty much completely sanitised themselves to remove any indication that they’re gay. “It’s bad to be gay, you know,” seems to be their message/thinking. Loco./Crazy. San Francisco has become the opposite of the City it was during the Gay Mecca decades. In many ways, things have gone back to the way they were before the now-dead Gay Rights’ Movement began. Last year, a local group started a campaign to “Queer the Castro.” Can you believe that?! I’m not making this up. That’s how bad it’s gotten here in the former Gay Mecca. It disgusts me.
You Go, Girl! You Go, Ms Thang!
Yes indeed, Ms Thang. Give us some grill work. She’s showing high beams. [Laugh]. Remember gay camp? I miss hearing gay camp. On the odd occasion, I’ll hear gay camp from some of the rare Drag Queens who are still here and haven’t been forced out of the Billionaire Bay Area. But other than from the Drag Queen artists, it seems that gay camp is gone and has now been relegated to history until Brand LGBTTM rewrites that too. I sense that most gay guys today are embarrassed by gay camp. I’d like to tell them: Come on guys, why have you become so damned conservative and the opposite of who you were? What the fuck is wrong with you? jesus! You’ve become the same goddamned conservative backward prudes that were “back home” that you whined about and mocked when you moved here. There has got to be something in the agua/water! It’s as if the gay community feels that gay camp is from a different era (of the Gay Mecca days) and no longer “cool” since the gay community is trying to divorce themselves from the past decades entirely as well as from San Francisco’s fading reputation of the “proudly radical and alternative” City of those days, that all seems to conflict with the gay community’s heteronormative, lobotomised tech-zombie, fake-macho “act” fad where the highlight of their week is trying to be just like the “straights” and obnoxiously screaming over corporate sports teams as they pretend to be jocks. (Pssssssssst: Wearing a baseball cap backwards, a god-awful nationalistic “USA” t-shirt and wearing a jock strap doesn’t make you a jock, shallow-assed gay guys).
One person in our group asked the same question I remember asking way back when: What is with the gay guys who were born between roughly 1984 – 1988 who are so sexually fucked up and weak as people that they could not bring themselves to admit that they’re gay? Mi amigo was specifically talking about this large group of gay guys who are on the site I call ClosetList who are looking for sex with a guy but they say in their ad, “I’ve got a girl and she doesn’t know so we have to keep this very discreet” (while he cheats on her, assuming she exists). One other person responded to that by saying: Does he really have a “girl” or is that all part of his fantasy? The guy in his late 20s or early 30s is trying to be heteronormative while looking for sex with a guy and he has “a girl” or pretending to have “a girl.” What’s with this age group that finds it impossible to come out of the closet and admit they’re gay? Are they really that insecure? Of those guys who claim to be “bi” one never sees their ads/pics over in the “men seeking women” section.
The people in our group have noticed that more and more “straight” guys seem to be trying to “look gay” either unconsciously so or deliberately. And most gay guys are trying to be heteronormative and are trying to “look straight.” GLBTQs got their orders to “assimilate” from corporatist Brand LGTQTM so they’re in lockstep with conforming. In other words, blending in and disappearing or frankly going back in the closet is what it amounts to with many gay guys now calling themselves the neutral “WM” (white male) instead of “GWM” (gay white male) or “bi,” when they really have no interest in females at all. To be clear, I’m not talking about genuine bisexual guys here. I’m talking about the pretenders who think that labeling themselves “bi” makes them sound more macho/masculine than labeling themselves what they are: gay. I think it’s accurate to say that most gay guys are now running from the word “gay.” That’s what our little group of GLBTQs sense from what we’ve observed. And the obsession with the word “discreet” and “DL” (meaning down low, translation: closeted) in most gay sex personal ads confirms that. As I’ve said before, at the rate things are going, at some point in the future the Gay Rights’ Movement will have to start up all over again, nearly from the beginning.
Las lesbianas/The lesbians in our group said it’s no better/easier for them. They said they’ve noticed that most lesbians are trying to look like “straight” women now. They’ve abandoned the butch hair cuts in favour of long flowing (out of a bottle) blond hair, wearing black tights, stiletto heals, and that ubiquitous lingerie top shit complete with phone glued to hand. Are they aware that they look like sex workers? And they apparently wear that get up to the office.
Unlike the Gay Mecca days, no gay cruising takes places on the streets anymore because most people act lobotomised and/or are glued to their dopamine-delivery phones.
Mi amigo told our group that there’s is a distinct difference between the gay guys and the “straight” guys at his gym, and that’s in their behaviour. The “straight” guys feel the need to act all tough, put on this phony macho act and this macho learned way of walking and sitting. They drop the weights (a stupid thing to do, but that seems to be an alpha-male macho thing). He said he doesn’t see most gay guys behaving in that way fortunately.
But I guess all this is what people want. They seem to prefer going backwards, and we certainly are. Chau.—el barrio rosa