Hola a todos. I have a question for the gay guys who are married to another gay gay. I ask this question because I’m seeing more and more of it:
Do you want to be thought of as straight?
Do you want people who don’t know you or your sexual orientation to think you’re straight?
If not, then why are you wearing your wedding bans on your left hand fourth finger?
That’s traditionally the finger that breeders/straights wear their wedding rings on, or have you never thought about it?
If you’re thinking: “Our queer relationship is no different than that of a straight couple.” Well, very likely your queer relationship is far superior in quality to many, if not most, dysfunctional breeder/straight relationships. But the reality is: You’re delusional and living with wishful-thinking if you think that the general (prejudiced and bigoted) public sees your relationship as equal to that of straights/breeders.
The Reality: You’ll never be like the breeders in the public’s bigoted/homophobic mind because of society’s intense homophobia which is getting worse worldwide especially for gay guys, and especially in the current political climate. (Related: Anti-gay violence 2019).
Lesbians are now considered more acceptable because “that’s what girls do.” (roll eyes)
As a gay guy yourself, and if you’re not with your partner, why would you want for someone to think you’re married to a woman when they see your wedding ban on your “breeder finger” (left hand fourth finger)? And if someone says, “Oh I see you’re married.” You respond: “Yes,” without clarifying: To my boyfriend. So the impression you will have left is that you’re married to a female. Is that what you want to do? If so, it sounds like some gay shame going on there. And again — this cannot be overstated — gay marriage/same gender marriage is too new historically for anyone to remember it or think that you might be married to another guy. Instead, most people will assume when they see your left hand wedding ring, “He’s got a wife” or “He’s got a girl.” Is that what you want people to think of you, rather than standing up for the so-called “gay community?” Or do you enjoy being heteronormative? What I think when I see a gay guy — according to my reliable gaydar — with a left hand wedding ring is a closet case married to a female because of all the closet cases I see today. It’s as if most queers are now back in the closet. I’ve had guys write me who have read this page and they say, “I’m married.” I’m thinking: To whom? I become confused. They don’t specify “to a guy” or “to a woman.” Why? Because it’s assumed that he’s married to a female. Per tradition. See what I mean? And that’s what will be assumed when someone sees a queer boy’s left hand wedding ring. Maybe you’re asking: Well where should I wear my wedding ban? On the right hand fourth finger because that’s not traditionally the finger that breeders wear their wedding bans on, at least in the US. I wanted to bring this up because, again, I see lots of gay guys who my gaydar tells me are gay/queer and I look and there’s a wedding ring on their left hand fourth finger which means: 1) he’s a closet case married to a female, or 2) a gay guy married to a guy but who wants people to think he’s straight and married to a woman and he’s living with gay shame despite being married to a guy. Mi amigo/My friend confirmed this. He told me he sees lots of guys on a daily basis in nonsexual U-toob videos who his gaydar tells him are queer (another closet case) and they too have a left hand wedding ring and these guys talk about their wife or girlfriend and she’s sometimes in the videos. To me, when I see a queer boy with a left hand wedding ring I now become confused. I think: We’ll, he’s either: A closet case with a female, or married to a guy which most people won’t remember is even legally possible these days. The public has a very short memory. There are closeted gay couples out there who are married to each other and they don’t want anyone to know. Because again, gay marriage — which I think most people have completely forgotten about and don’t remember that it’s even possible — is much too new for the average person to even consider that a guy could be married to another guy/his boyfriend, especially for people who think that “marriage should be between a man and a woman.” (roll eyes). Then, here in the Century of Insanity, there are the gay guys who worked hard for gay marriage and then in the end married females! (Related: More back to the 1950s (with gay shame): Gay guys marrying females in droves. Sad.) Chau.—el barrio rosa
Related: “Gay and Lesbian Marriage. Instead of wearing wedding bands on their left hands, gay and lesbian couples often choose to wear rings on their right hands instead. Within gay and lesbian communities, the right-handed ring is an instantly recognizable marker of a monogamous relationship, and even marriage within the states that have legalized it.”