(Short article and to the point. Well, short for me):
Hola a todos. I’ve written various versions of this article. This is the short version.
Dear Queer couples (gay male couples and lesbian couples): If you don’t want to be mistaken for a breeder/for being straight/heterosexual, you are wearing your wedding rings on your right hand (fourth finger). Correct?
As seen here with these Queer boys:
Unless you want to unfortunately be mistaken for a breeder — they wear their wedding rings on their left hand fourth finger — and possibly have someone ask you about your “wife,” you are wearing your wedding ban on your right hand fourth finger. Correct? Because why would any gay guy want to be thought of as straight or a breeder? (Unless one is still closeted and or has some gay shame).
Some Queers will tell me: “But our marriage is no different than that of the breeders.” Well, as dysfunctional as breeder marriages are (1 in 4 end in divorce in the first year of marriage as of 2017), I would hope that your Queer marriage is far superior to a breeder marriage quite frankly. And that is the case with the Queer marriages I know of.
Reality: Even though you and I know that we Queers deserve the same rights as breeders, to much of our bigoted, homophobic, heteronormative society your Queer marriage will never be equal to that of the breeders. Period. Face Facts, Sapphire: Stop your wishful-thinking. To most people, marriage is only between a man and a woman. They don’t even remember there is something called gay marriage. This is not a time for denial or wishful-thinking. And considering the current draconian political climate where hate and violence for Queers is being ramped up worldwide, I suggest one come out of one’s denial as to many people prejudices against Queers. Not everyone is lovey-dovey for Queers.
Too often these days, my reliable gaydar tells me that a guy I see — especially on television — is Queer. But his wedding ring is on the wrong hand. It’s on the breeder hand. So, I become confused and I ask with a sense of resignation: Is he in the closet and married to a female? Who the fuck knows! Or, does this Queer boy wear his wedding ring on the wrong hand? It’s very confusing. The image of a left hand wedding ring and breeders is heavily cemented in the public’s mind as a straight relationship and has been so for generations. That image is not going to change. That’s like trying to change the image of a cross/crucifix and saying it’s not connected to Christianity. Not going to happen. But when I see wedding rings on the right hand in the US, I’m not confused.
So, to sum up:
Queer marriages: Wedding rings on right hand and muchas gracias/thank you very much for doing that. It removes any confusion.
Breeder marriages: Wedding rings on left hand (per society’s heteronormative tradition).
Because if you’re Queer, who in their right mind wants to be mistaken for or confused with or thought of as a fucking breeder? Breeders — as well as closet cases — are responsible for most of the problems in our world.
As I’m concluding this, there’s a guy on television I read as a Queer boy. But his wedding ring is on his left hand. (roll eyes) Sigh. Yet another one. I see this every day. So, is he in the unhealthy closet and married to a female or does he have his wedding ring on the wrong hand? Who knows?! As I’ve asked many times: What has happened to my fellow Queers? Queers can’t even get the wedding ring thing right. Something as simple as what hand to wear their wedding ring on, so as not to be mistaken for a fucking breeder. (jesus fucking christ).
The Queer guy who lives across the street from me is married to his boyfriend, but you wouldn’t know that. One would think that he has a wife too. Why? Because his wedding ring is on the breeder finger (left hand fourth finger). Anyone who doesn’t know him would think he’s married to a female. Is that what he wants people to think? If so, that sounds like a case of gay shame and internalised homophobia. Ugh. Chau.—el barrio rosa