Gay sex personal ads

Ashamed to be Gay

El 14 de agosto de 2014. Hola, without regurgitating most of what I’ve written in previous articles about this topic, when I wrote those articles I had wondered if what I was writing about at the time was a temporary situation, a fad or a permanent situation.

Well, it’s only gotten worse since then. The going-back-in-the-closet with gay guys—the obsession with the word “discreet”—seems to be in higher gear now than it was then based on gay sex personal ads on the site I call ClosetList. Such as this ad:

“Hot JOCK in the area tonight and looking to suck off another str8/bi dude. I am very discrete [sic] about this and looking for other discrete [sic]/masculine dudes.”

So he writes that the guy he sucks off must be “str8/bi,” (how is he going to confirm that?) Of course a masculine gay guy could show up pretending to be bi or str8 and this “hot jock” wouldn’t know the difference. But notice that this jock doesn’t want to suck off a gay guy. What does he (and other jocks like him) have against gay guys? Are there some anti-gay feelings going on here? How is “str8/bi” dick any different than gay dick? I’d like to ask this dude: Why are you “very discrete [sic] about this?” Why are you very discreet about looking to suck off a dude? Haven’t you heard there’s nothing wrong with sucking off a guy? And who would care that you’re sucking off a guy, unless you’re cheating on somebody? You’re in Manhattan (New York City) and who the fuck in Manhattan cares what you do sexually? You seem to think you’re in Mayberry where Emma, Aunt Bea, Clara, Barney and Andy will be looking over the fence snooping on your ass and watching you suck off some guy. I can assure you that won’t be happening. I suspect that no one in Manhattan gives a fuck what you do.

What is with this small-town thinking that some of these fucked-up, closet-cases (translation: “discreet”) gay guys have who live in major cities? I don’t understand that. Major cities are where people are more anonymous and where gay guys move(d) to so they don’t have to be in the closet/”discreet.”

I doubt this muchacho would be sucking off a guy on a street corner in Manhattan for everyone to see, so why the need to be “very discreet about this” in a private room somewhere?

What this tells me is that this dude is ashamed of what he’s doing because he’s gay and ashamed of being gay. Or, he’s cheating on someone.

Or there’s this possibility: since many sex ads can be pure sexual fantasy for the person with no intention of ever getting together with anyone who responds, the secretive aspect of what he’s doing and keeping it “very discreet” could possibly be part of the sexual turn-on for him. And if so, I understand that. That’s cool. But, there are thousands more just like him on ClosetList.

Now, if what I said in the previous paragraph is not the case and he’s really ashamed of being gay which is the impression I get from most of the gay personal ads on ClosetList, some people thought we (GLBTQs) had made progress? Read personal sex ads on ClosetList especially and you’ll learn otherwise. If anything, we’re heading backwards into the Dark Ages with prudish, back-in-the-closet thinking.

Also, I’m not sure what it is or what’s going on with these “jocks”** (see asterisks below) in their late 20s and early 30s. They apparently spend endless hours working on and polishing their exterior (some of them write: “I work out 7 days a week”). If some of these jocks spent even a fraction of that amount of time working on their deficit personalities and acquiring some basic social skills maybe they wouldn’t come off as arrogant assholes and even bullies in their ads. When I read some of their ads, I think to myself: “Well who would want to get together with an asshole like you? You’re a fucking piece of work. And then you wonder why no one responds to your ad?” Chau.—rosa barrio

** Note: I’d like to point out that from the sex personal ads I’ve seen on ClosetList, any guy can call himself a jock. There doesn’t seem to be any standards or requirements for being a “jock.” Some guys who call themselves a jock are very gym-toned/muscled, while others don’t look like they work-out at all. Some “bears” call themselves a jock. I’ve seen that too.

Related:

The Conservative Gay Heteronormative Populace

Are gays going back in the closet?

The “Discreet” Gay Guys

The Gay Jock Fad

Is it GLBTQ or LGBT?