Hola a todos. As the Conservatory is about to reopen following the holidays, I thought I’d fill the time with this article.
A San Franciscan wrote a comment on one of my articles and then he sent me a more detailed e-mail. I thought his comment deserved more attention so I’m posting it as this article below with my minor edits. Here’s what he wrote:
I’m a San Francisco resident. I was walking down the street in Upper Market here in January 2020 and I noticed a number of baby strollers on the other side of the street. It’s a common sight in San Francisco these days. As I was watching these baby strollers going by, a bull dyke slightly ahead of me looked back at me and started talking. She said, “It’s impossible to find dykes in San Francisco anymore.” We started talking. She was an interesting person. She was dressed in Old City clothes and her hair style was that of a 1990s to early 2000 look. I told her that what few gay men there are left in San Francisco seemed to have thrown away their gayness and turned straight and started marrying chicks. She said, “Lesbians are doing the same thing.” I was surprised to hear her say that because before I started reading pink barrio I thought I was the only person to notice this back to the closet strangeness and “be straight” life style of what was once an out and proud gay community. She used a word similar to assimilating but she said, “Bull dykes no longer look like dykes, they don’t even ride motorcycles anymore and they’re marrying guys. They’re mostly blond haired now and wear lingerie clothing 24/7 out and about and dance with straight men. You’d never catch me dressing like that or dating a guy” as she spit on the sidewalk in disapproval. She said, “It’s really sad. This used to be such a fun City.” Her last words to me were, “Can you believe all the baby strollers in this City?”
I thought about our chat for awhile after. Many people assume I’m straight for some reason but her gaydar picked up on me right away as gay. Then I thought about what I wish I would have told her that I saw about a month ago in a store here in SF. It was this guy who looked right out of the Eagle Bar, one of the South of Market leather gay men’s bars in the Old City. The guy was probably in his 30s or 40s. He was very handsome, wearing leather short-shorts and a black leather vest and had a trimmed beard. I noticed him because I haven’t seen any guys wearing leather short-shorts in years in SF, since the Old City. He was with a heavy-set blond chick who looked like a lesbian. She was wearing tight white pants and had a big butt. I looked at them for a bit because he looked so gay to me and right out of the Eagle. I used to go to the Eagle. I watched him start rubbing this woman’s arm and she got closer. That’s when things started looking weird. Rather than being a gay guy and a lesbian, they were looking more like they were a couple or maybe just starting their “straight” relationship. I saw a gay guy and a bull dyke type lesbian trying to be straight. I shook my head and walked away. I’d seen enough. I glanced their direction as I went around a corner and they were about to make out in the store. Who knew that gay guys would at some point hook up with lesbians to be straight? You’re not the only one to say it, pink barrio, but we’re living in a really insane world. My coworkers say that every day.
One thing I’ve noticed with your commenters, you have no trans commenters or none who will ever touch this topic. Makes me think that most of them are in the closet too. Thanks.—Derrick
My response: Derrick, as for your last paragraph, I’ve suspected the same for some time. I’ve even heard some trans people say how they can “pass as straight.” Then, last week I saw these two trans people who are essentially a heteronormative straight couple now. (roll eyes). They’re even having a baby to be perfectly heteronormative as “him and her” in an already over-populated world. If they wanted a child, why not adopt a child? There’s no shortage of very loving children waiting to be adopted and one can love an adopted child just as much as a child with one’s own DNA. Why do some (many?) trans females think they have to become breeders? Or is it that they feel they’re not a “complete woman” until they squeeze out a baby? And some say things such as, “Give me my uterus.” Well, what’s the purpose of a uterus? I never knew that deep down so many queers wanted to be “carbon copies” of the dysfunctional breeders. That wasn’t the thinking during our GL Rights Movement. At that time, we looked down on the straights. We didn’t worship them and model our lives after them as is happening today. Loco/Crazy. But I’ve seen other trans “straight” couples just like these such as the Gay Straight Couple. Insanity. I swear, all of those corporate trash at those corporatist queer organisations at the state and national level who ordered queers to “assimilate with the straights” when gay marriage became legal in the US should be fired en masse. What stupid and useless people! Apparently they didn’t think any of this through — no critical thinking skills? — as to its very possible consequences. They are directly responsible for the state of things today. When you tell a minority group to “assimilate” with the majority group what happens? What happens is what has happened. “Assimilate” means to blend in; don’t stick out and take on the characteristics of the majority. How does one “blend in?” By going back in the closet and pretending to be “straight” and part of the majority. Duh. Any damn fool should have seen this coming. At this point, is there much need for gay marriage now? Well I guess it’s useful for the few queer couples who haven’t gone back in the closet and who want to be married. But it serves no purpose whatsoever for the — what appears to be the majority — now insane queers with their deep-rooted gay shame and internalised homophobia who are marrying the opposite gender to live a heterosexual/straight life which they could have done to begin with, years ago. Gay guys didn’t need for gay marriage to become legal so they could marry a female. What fucking idiots! Chau.—el barrio rosa
The Power And Privilege Of ‘Passing’ As Straight: “Why, for a passing moment, did I secretly feel pleased that someone might think I was straight?”