With some GLBTQ progress having been made over the past decade, one would think that gay guys would be the most “out and proud” these days that they’ve ever been. But no, that’s not the case. Instead they’re running from the word “gay” and running from their gay sexual identity as if ashamed of both and as if gay is now a “bad word.” They’re running back in the closet and continuing to describe themselves as “discreet” (the opposite of “out and proud”) and “DL” (down low or closeted). Most gay guys are now writing “bi” and/or “be bi or masculine” in their sex personal ads. Is there something in the water worldwide causing this loco behaviour?
Did you know that “bi” now means masculine, and not bisexual? Yes, that’s how most gay guys are using the term “bi” to describe themselves. Recently in my article where I asked: What’s Wrong With Gay Dick?, I wrote about the thousands of gay guys all over the US and around the world who are today labeling themselves as “bi” in their gay personal sex ads even though they’re not bi. These are gay guys calling themselves “bi” and looking to suck dick but they’re usually only looking to suck “bi” or “straight/married” dick. Can someone explain to me how “bi” or “straight” dick is any different than gay dick? These guys don’t want to suck gay dick for some reason. Gay shame? They’re very specific that they want “bi” or “straight” dick. Then there are the “bi” bottoms who are looking to get fucked. The “bi bottom” descriptor is new. I’ve not seen that until recently and it’s very curious. Since the guy is looking to get fucked, why is it important to know that he is supposedly “bi?” As a bottom, does it matter that he supposedly fucks pussy on other occasions when in this case he’s the one looking to get fucked? Why not just say, “bottom looking to get fucked” and leave off the “bi” bull shit/lie? I think it’s because he’s trying to let everyone know that he’s a masculine bottom and not a feminine bottom because “bi” is now used to mean masculine.
As I said in that article (link above), all of these guys are not bi in the original sense of the word — who do they think they’re fooling? — because human sexuality does not change this drastically and with such a large segment of the population as seen in gay sex personal ads on the site I call ClosetList. As I’ve written before, it’s as if the gay community has completely flipped out. For example, does anyone believe that most of the gay guys in the former Gay Mecca of San Francisco are now bi? Who believes that? Nobody I’ve talked with believes it. I ran this by a very experienced psychologist-sexologist amigo of mine and when I told him about this he burst out laughing and shook his head (left to right) and said, “crazy world.” If one believes the majority of men-seeking-men sex ads on ClosetList, the so-called “gay community” in San Francisco is no longer gay (WTF?), or at least the majority of guys posting on ClosetList in San Francisco as well as the Bay Area under the Men-for-Men category are not gay. I honestly think this is a case of gay shame and internalised homophobia — we’ve made so much progress, haven’t we! [sarcasm intended] — which is really quite sad because I thought most gay guys had already worked through these repressive and gay-self-hate issues over the past decades. But apparently not. The gay community has been urged to “assimilate” (translation: go back in the closet) with the “straights.” And the ironic thing about this is that despite some GLBTQ progress having been made, one would think that even more gay guys would be “out and proud” today instead of ashamed of their gay sexual orientation and hiding behind the word “bi” to appear more heteronormative when they have zero interest in women. But that seems to be what’s happened. With more supposed GLBTQ “progress” has come going back into the closet and calling yourself “bi.”
The comments had closed for my article (linked above) and a few gay guys e-mailed me about that article. One gay guy said he had hooked up with two different guys in the past six months for sex who in their ad described themselves as “bi.” He said he pretended to be bi too even though he has no interest in women when he responded to them because they only wanted to hook up with another bi guy. He told me he played what he thought was the “bi role” and talked about watching pussy porn together and asked this alleged bi guy about the last time he fucked a chick. That didn’t go anywhere he said. The supposed “bi” guy he responded to showed no interest in talking about pussy or about chicks. Instead, he kept going back to gay sex and sucking dick. At that point, he (the guy who e-mailed me) stopped pushing the “bi” script/talk because it was a dead-end topic. Interesting. Another gay guy wrote me and said he calls himself bi but all he means by that is that he’s masculine and he thought that’s what bi meant. So I wrote him back asking, “you didn’t think bi meant bisexual which is the original meaning of the word? He responded, “No, I thought bi now meant masculine because so many guys are using bi in their personals and I don’t believe that many guys are bisexual.” Oh, so he doesn’t believe it either. He said he’s not into women. Then the fourth gay guy said the bi thing in gay personal sex ads is “all bull shit just like their dick size.” He wrote, “I’m sure you’ve seen 9″cut printed in their ad but their pic looks more like 5-6.” Yes, I have seen that. I think they’re using internet inches or maybe they began measuring their dick length from their shoulder blades or somewhere. Wherever they’re measuring from, it’s way off, just like most of the lies in their profiles.
Since I wrote that article, I saw one guy’s ad that read, “Legit bi guy…” in one major US city. Oh, “legit.” Does that mean that this guy has received some flak for calling himself bi — and other guys know he isn’t — and called him on it? The curious thing about his ad was that it came across as if he was bull shitting despite the “legit bi guy” title. In his ad he wrote: My girl — “my girl” is how he referred to her which is fairly common language for these fake-bi guys’ ads — is home. I’m bored and hanging out in my hotel room looking to hook up with a good-looking dude who’s into jacking to pussy porn. I thought: Well, if you’re a legit bi guy (as you claim) and really into pussy (or is it all a fantasy?), what are you do sitting in your hotel room wanting to jack off with another dude to pussy porn and not home with your “girl” and working on your “girl’s” pussy? Or are you really not into your “girl,” OR is there really no “girl” at all? Is this just all heteronormative fantasy like all these other fake-bi guys out there with their gay shame?
To be clear, I’m not talking about the real bi guys out there. This article is not about them. I know there are some genuine bisexual guys out there. But this is about gay guys who are on some heteronormative fantasy head trip and/or they’re just copying other guy’s ads who are using the word “bi” in their ad to mean they’re “masculine” or to appear more “straight” when they’re not into “girls” at all. One line I’ve seen in many fake-bi guy ads over the months is, “my girl is away.” The guy in the hotel room I just talked about in the previous paragraph has written many ads using that “my girl is away” line. I wrote about that too here awhile back. Judging by these ads, there are busloads of “girls” out of town. Mi amigo/My friend asked: Where do they all go that they are never with these fake-bi guys on ClosetList?
And I’ve noticed that many gay jocks think they have to say they’re bi so they come off as more masculine. It’s part of the obnoxious jock personae as they pretend to be “straight” and try to be heteronormative because they are ashamed to be gay and ashamed of the word “gay.”
Just like the obnoxious supposedly gay sports bar in San Francisco is ashamed of the Rainbow Flag. The Rainbow Flag is apparently “too gay” for these conservative, obnoxious, loud-screaming (closet case?) jocks obsessed over wealthy corporate sports teams. That bar doesn’t fly the Rainbow Flag except when they want to exploit GLBTQ tourists on Corporate Pride weekend (which in San Francisco has become nothing but a corporate commercial mostly attended by breeders/”straights”). Then their Rainbow Flag goes back into the closet the following Lunes/Monday until next year. When that bar opened a number of years ago, a local Queer boy astutely wrote, “The Gay Rights’ Movement ends at this bar.” That turned out to be absolutely true. It was around that time or a little after that the Gay Rights’ Movement died especially in now soul-less, lobotomised and techie San Francisco where GLBTQ activism is dead as — what remains of — the so-called “gay community” has become conservative. And conservatives sneer at and mock protesters and protesting, except when they want to protest something. Then they get their Rent-A-Mob out and protest.
Gracias to the guys who e-mailed me with their experiences. I appreciate it.
Summing up: Most
bi gay guys are not bi. They’re merely using the word “bi” to make themselves sound more “masculine,” more jock and heteronormative with their anti-gay/DownLow/closeted feelings that they still haven’t worked through where they think there is something wrong with being gay and that one is more of a Real ManTM and masculine/macho if one deceives others and lies about one’s sexual orientation by giving the false impression that one has sex with some fictitious “girl.” As one of my commenters has said: We’re living in very strange times. Chau.—el barrio rosa