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The New Castro: The $3 Cake-Cutting Fee and the $10 Beer. WTF?!

Hola. I thought I had “seen and heard everything” until recently. I saw a picture of this double-layer Coconut Cream Cake from a Castro (San Francisco) restaurant. I’m a “dessert person” so this cake sounds very good to me. I’d like to see the ingredients’ list first to make sure it’s made with the best ingredients, organic whenever possible and maybe even vegan. I would never eat at this restaurant because of the prices, many of which are based in greed. I’ve often wondered how this restaurant was able to close one day a week — when most other restaurants in the area don’t have that luxury and are open 7 days — but I’m getting a better idea now of how they’re able to do that. I don’t care to give this bougi/expensive restaurant any promotion, so from hereon I’ll just refer to this restaurant as “GREED.” I’d have trouble eating at GREED even if someone else was paying for it. GREED is located in the area of The Castro which these days increasingly feels to me like I’m entering into Straightsville. So I typically avoid that block unless I’m on my bicycle and don’t have to look at who’s on the sidewalk since I don’t care to see tall him and short/submissive her holding hands and/or making out and nearly fucking on the sidewalk in THE GAY CASTRO. Someone who ate at GREED was going on about this Coconut Cream Cake and there was a picture of their slice, which didn’t look overly generous to me; sort of on the small side. So I went to the restaurant’s website to see if the cake was listed in their Dessert Menu. It was not, so I don’t know how often they have it. A Ginger Cake was listed instead at $11.00 a slice. $11.00 a slice for one piece of cake? Loco./Crazy. Then in small print up above on the menu it stated that there is a $3.00 cake-cutting fee per person in the restaurant. WTF? They charge $3.00 to cut a piece a cake per person? If there are four people at your table and everyone wants cake, that’s $12.00 they’re making as profit just for the cake-cutting fee alone. Well, you can fucking keep your cake. If I were to eat at GREED I would tell them this:

You know, I really don’t mean to put you out at all and I didn’t know what a bother, such a major job it was to cut a piece of cake. You see, I’ve cut many pieces of cake in my experience and it was just no big deal; it only takes a couple of seconds. But if you could kindly take me back to this Coconut Cream Cake or bring it out here to my table, I can put on some plastic gloves that you provide (presumably without a fee) and without touching anything but the cutting knife and my slice and assuming the cake is already scored (slices already marked to be cut) I will be glad to cut my own slice. Would that be possible? Can you do that? Because I’m not about to pay GREED $3.00 to have you cut a piece of cake. What the fuck is happening to The Castro and this city, assholes? I know you’re trying to make this city “A Playground For The Super-Wealthy,” because you have these techie basura here with their big/over-inflated heads and they enjoy throwing around (wasting) their money, and idiots around here keep telling these techies what supposed geniuses they are because these lobotomised smartphone stupidphone-addicted zombies were somehow able to pick up some coding skills along the way. Well, we’re not all in tech and TECH CAN FUCK OFF as far as I’m concerned. And so can your restaurant. So give me the check, assuming there’s not a fucking fee for that too. I hope you go out of business, you greed-based assholes.

Of course I wouldn’t say that to them (other than maybe in a letter) but that’s what I’d like to say to them.

But after thinking about it, I know there’s no shortage of suckers out there who have no problem with throwing their dinero/money away on anything that’s greed-based and overpriced from food, to underwhelming and ugly cookie-cutter Luxury Designer Condos (Dahling), as well as a $3.00 cake-cutting fees per person, just because they can.

I worked in one of the retail stores of Just Desserts (the original company/bakery founded in the 1970s on Church Street) and we didn’t charge any “cake-cutting fee.” We charged $2.50-3.00 for a generous slice of our high-quality cake made from scratch each day by the bakery on Carroll Avenue. Remember Just Desserts’s famous Chocolate Fudge Cake, their Fudge Brownies, and their Mocha Buttercream Cake (that was one of my favourite cakes and it did take a lot of work at the Bakery to make that because of all the steps involved)? At that time, all of our cakes were the best cakes one could buy anywhere made with the best ingredients, in my opinion. In those days, I often heard people say, “It has to be Just Desserts.” I knew the ingredients’ lists well for our desserts because customers would sometimes enquire about the ingredients of different desserts. Just Desserts was not about greed, which is what San Francisco has turned into: Rank and Ugly Greed, in part due to the Conway/Lee regime and corrupt corporate parasitic politicians of the San Francisco Oligarchy who work for their corporate/developer/real estate and Techie Oligarchy owners.

Based on the price of the Ginger Cake they had listed on GREED’s Dessert Menu at $11.00 a slice, then add to that the $3.00 cake-cutting fee per person, that brings the price of one slice of cake to $14.00 for a small slice of cake. Who would pay $14.00 for a small slice of cake? Answer: Suckers, stupid-assed people and bougi-wealthy pretentious basura who like to be seen throwing money away while there are hungry homeless people sleeping in doorways in freezing temperatures in the same block of this restaurant. It’s fucking disgraceful. What’s next at GREED? A fee for opening the fucking door to let you in the restaurant followed by the host’s fee for seating you at a table, then the fee for giving you the menu, then the fee for bringing you the salad and dinner plates (or is there a separate fee for each of those?), then the fee for clearing the table, the fee for dessert forks before the $14.00 slice of cake is brought to you, and then the fee for giving you the check? Fuck off!

If I ran a restaurant, I’d be embarrassed to charge $3.00 for a “cake-cutting fee.” To me, that’s tacky among other negative things. If they feel they need to charge an additional $3.00 for a cake slice, just include it in the price of the cake slice and don’t even mention a “cake-cutting fee.” Just raise the price of the cake slices on the menu to $14.00, and some idiots won’t have any problem paying that. From scanning the reviews, a lot of pretentious people eat at this restaurant. The way they write their reviews, they remind me of the Classical Music Snots. They try to be all philosophical and poetic, you know, and put on airs of class-ism and pretentiousness. (I can’t stand basura like that). Someone was going on about, “the poetry coming out of the kitchen (Dahling) and each dish was a work of art.” For those prices, it damn-well ought to be!

$140.00 for a 8″ Double-Layer Cake? WTF?

When I worked at Just Desserts, we sold mostly 8″ single or 8″ double layer cakes. The picture of the slice of Coconut Cream Cake from GREED looked to me like it was an 8″ double layer cake. It looked like they probably got about 10 slices out of the cake. Well:

10 slices @ $14.00 a slice = $140.00 for a 8″ double layer cake.

So they are making $140.00 on one cake? That’s outrageous. That’s insanity. That’s greed.

Just Desserts sold freshly-baked 8″ double layer cakes for around $24.00 I think it was. It wasn’t much by comparison.

The cheapest dinner on this restaurant’s menu was the Vegan Lasagna at $24.00 a plate, and that was the only (token) vegan item on the menu. Someone did complain about the lack of vegan items on the menu. The rest of the menu was/is dead-animal and decaying-fish based. With our polluted oceans and Fukushima nuclear radiation in the Pacific Ocean, people still have no problem with eating “local” sword fish? That was on the menu too. Isn’t sword fish endangered? Although the New Conservative Techie San Francisco wouldn’t give a fuck about that either! The city that cared about that is mostly gone. I noticed that someone was gushing over the “perfectly seasoned moist lightly fried rabbit (amazing).” Fried rabbit? I cannot conceive of that. You know, with some asshole like that, I’d like to take a live cuddly rabbit out to their table after they’ve ordered “fried rabbit” and have them hold the little rabbit and say to them after a few moments (pointing to the rabbit), “So you’d like this fried?” and see what their reaction is. Or if I felt like being very blunt about it I’d ask the person: “So you would like this little rabbit to give up its life so that you can have a meal?” Would they change their order after having personal contact with the live rabbit? So many people have this major disconnect from where their food comes from. If dog or cat were on the menu, would they mindlessly order that too (while their dog or cat is at home)?

The Lobotomised, Culture-less Techie Assholes

As mi amigo/my friend says (sarcastically): Thanks again lobotomised techie assholes for ruining this city! You’re about the only basura who could afford these insane, outrageous prices. We’ve all heard the stories about how you shallow and superficial trash brag about how much money you have in your “portfolio” and how much money you waste/throw away as you throw around your wealth, just because you can. You shallow trash get off on superficial status-symbols. Maybe one day you’ll mature past that. (Doubtful…that requires a much higher maturity level than the juvenile behaviour we’ve seen from these techies). We’ve all heard about the techie basura blowing a minimum of $1 MILLION USD for a 500-square foot micro condo. Insanity.

Some of us can’t wait until tech crashes and these snooty, arrogant, culture-less, techie scum are out of here because they won’t be able to afford their $1MILLION USD PLUS “Luxury Designer Condos” (Dahling) any more, or their bougi/pretentious vehicles or anything else. Fuck off!

I told mi amigo about GREED’s cake cutting fee when I saw him. He couldn’t believe it. Then he told me he had just seen a sign in The Castro for $10.00 beer. I’ve heard about that along with the $8.00 for toast and coffee. Tech can afford these insane prices so everyone else is expected to is the thinking from greed-based businesses in the New Conservative, Lobotomised and Techie San Francisco.

These days, The Castro is fully saturated with overpriced, bougi, lah-ti-dah coffee. Shallow and superficial people love to be seen standing in line every morning and/or multiple times a day waiting to buy their overpriced coffee around here — again, it’s a status-symbol thing, you know — while hunched over with their nose embedded in their stupidphone frantically texting somebody (why don’t you just call the person, idiot?). Apparently, people these days don’t know how to boil agua/water to the correct temperature or grind their own coffee beans the way I did when I drank coffee. I read the other day that there’s at least 14 new coffee places in The Castro, and that was as of 2013. That was not including the long-established restaurants and cafés that also serve coffee drinks. So there’s no shortage of coffee for the coffee and smartphone stupidphone addicts. They are the two major addictions in today’s Castro: 1) stupidphones and 2) coffee, in that order. Well, really there are five addictions if you include the nicotine, meth and alcohol/booze addiction. Chau.—el barrio rosa


Smartphones: Transforming society into a sea of stupid