The New Castro Clones, Closet Cases, and The Folsom Street Fair 2016

This is the weekend of the 2016 Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, but you’d never know it, other than the heat which is typical of this weekend.

Hola. Well, by looking at The Castro, you’d never know this is the Folsom Street Fair weekend. Mi amigo/My friend and I walked around The Castro yesterday afternoon. As is usually the case on weekends around here these days, I had expected it to be mostly “straight” with their obnoxious in-your-face make-out scenes and their babies, lots of screaming babies, baby strollers and their big dogs. But for some reason, it was mostly Queer even down in “Straightsville” (Market Street between Castro and Church Street). Some Queer boys/couples were holding hands which was nice to see for a change. I certainly noticed the saturation of conformist black and gray clothing that the majority of people were wearing, or what I now call the new Castro Clone: black jeans/gray t-shirt or black jeans/black t-shirt. It was very uncomfortably hot in the sun so I don’t know how people were able to put up with black/gray clothing in the hot sun. Their thinking appeared to be a case of “it’s better to be a black and gray conformist than to be comfortable.” “YOU MUST WEAR BLACK AND GRAY! CONFORM! OBEY!” Even if you get so hot that you have a heat stroke.

There was something called the Castro Clone during the Gay Mecca days but the Castro Clones of those years were more original than the Castro Clones of today. During that era tight Levis 501 jeans and Lacrosse alligator short sleeve shirts were what the Castro Clones wore. The shirt could be of any colour so you’d see a variety of pretty colours, compared to today’s drab and conservative Castro Clone which is limited to funeral-black, casket-gray or boring white as the third colour.

For it to be the Folsom Street Fair weekend, we saw hardly nothing that resembled that. I think we saw one guy in leather and he was on Castro Street. So it would appear that the conservative Castro has completely abandoned/divorced itself from the Folsom Street Fair event. I think I pointed that out last year when I wrote about Folsom – that most of the people who attended were from elsewhere.

Then I wanted to show mi amigo a display in one of the sex store’s windows (Rock Hard). They’re the best sex store in The Castro, in my opinion. They have been bullied a lot over the years by neighbourhood prudes (especially prudes with children) to sanitise their store window. The conservative basura don’t like seeing the sex scenes on sex video covers (GASP!) in RH’s window so RH was forced to put white stickers over the sex scenes on the video covers. Ridiculous. The conservative los pendejos in the neighbourhood have called la policía/the police on them and the cops have bullied Rock Hard into sanitising their store window to please these prudes. You might be thinking I’m making this up. I know it sounds like I’m talking about a store in Kansas instead of San Francisco’s Castro, but that’s how things have changed around here in a backwards/conservative direction with the help of the conservative prudes of the GLBTQ community, whom I can no longer relate to. Well, Rock Hard had this small teddy bear in their window and they had a small plastic pig in Rainbow Flag colours with its face in between the legs of the bear (in the bear’s crotch). I liked it. It reminded me of the days of the proudly-radical and alternative Old City (which is long gone) of the former Gay Mecca days. It was suggestive but I had a feeling some conservative prude(s) would complain about it and scream: “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!” In reality, “the children” wouldn’t think anything of it if “the children” even saw it. And I suspect if you looked in some children’s toy piles you’d see the same thing. You’d see the pig’s face just happened to land in the crotch of the bear when the child put his/her toys away and the child thought nothing of it. I never see “the children” looking in sex store windows. And even if they saw it, “the children” would likely only see the teddy bear and/or the pig and not make any sexual connection to what the pig was doing with the teddy bear. It’s the children in adult bodies — called prudish conservative parents — who have psychological issues and a problem with this. Some people should not be parents, period. Something about breeding turns many people into conservative prudes. When I took mi amigo to see this display, Rock Hard had changed it unfortunately. The pig is now next to the teddy bear and not with its face in between the legs of the bear. I started to go in and ask if they got complaints about it but I chose not to do that because I didn’t really want to know the answer to that. Of course they got complaints about it, otherwise they wouldn’t have changed it especially for Folsom Street weekend. Reminds me of one of my articles I wrote sometime back: Sexual Freedom and Revolution. In that article I talked about all the GLBTQs who fled conservative redneck places in the US decades ago when they moved to then “anything goes” San Francisco. And then decades later they have worked hard to turn The Castro and San Francisco into the same prudish hell hole they ran from decades ago. Why didn’t they stay where they were since that’s what they wanted? And that’s what has happened with The Castro. And the Folsom Street Fair has been toned down too compared to what it used to be.

Why Can’t Gay Guys Come Out Of The Closet?

As we stood at Castro & Market, we began seeing more supposed “straight” couples. What they really were were closeted gay guys with females. These are gay guys either having gone back in the closet as we’ve seen around here, or never came out the first time. Their eyes were all over the place as they were trying to quickly check out the gay guys when she wasn’t looking and without her catching him checking out guys. And then with some of these couples, the closet case gay guy felt the need to start making out with her right there to reassure needy and insecure her about their so-called “relationship.” It was about then that mi amigo looked at me and asked: “After all these decades, why can’t gay guys all over the world come out of the closet?” I said: Yes I know. And then we’ve been told by the delusional wishful-thinkers of the gay community: “Gay is now mainstream” and “gays can live anywhere.” Yeah right. And speaking of gays can live anywhere freely and openly: México: Desde la Ciudad de México/From México City: Thousands protest against same-sex marriage proposal. I thought same-gender marriage was already legal in México, but obviously I was mistaken.

Folsom Street Fair 2016

If mi amigo/my friend goes to the Folsom Street Fair, I’ll update this and let you know how it was.

UPDATE: Mi amigo went to the fair. The weather was extremely hot. He came back sweating. He said the fair is still mostly Queer but the “straight” invasion has begun. I think he said that about 20% of it is now “straight.” For the first time, he saw “straight” make-out sessions there. (Glad I missed that! Ugh. I see enough of that shit around here. They do so love to put on a show in front of Queer boys. WTF is that about? Do they see it as a form of “conversion therapy?” The thing is, I’ve never felt the need to make out in front of “straight” people but they do have this burning desire to make out in front of GLBTQs and under Rainbow Flags. Damn odd.) They’ve moved part of the fair apparently to pacify and cater to the bougi residents (Dahling) who live in the new “Luxury Designer Condos” (Dahling) in the area. Pretentious basura. I asked him about the phones. He said he must have seen one-million+ phones. People come to a fair to get on their phone. I remember him saying that last year. Sad. (That phone is so many people’s entire life and existence; what did they do with their lives before they got this new toy – this phone to play with all day and night?). He said that every time the music got blaring that the phones came back out with people saying, “I can’t hear you” when all they had to do was to walk a block away and then they would be able to hear. Why did they wait until the music started to get on that phone? Loco. Like the rest of San Francisco and especially The Castro, he said the fair has definitely been sanitised. Under the ridiculous and prudish city-wide nudity ban — authored by a gay conservative prude pendejo with body image issues and the deciding vote for the ban coming from another pendejo who no longer even lives here — nudity is allowed at this fair. But he saw no nudity at all. Two of the original naked guys were there but they were wearing cock socks so they were not naked either. He also saw very little leather. Leather used to be a major part of Folsom; I guess leather was of the Old City. He had a lot of beer spilled on him, and the “straights” have now gotten into the whipping displays and that sort of thing. The commercial booths were weird. There was a booth there for the first time for luxury cruises (Dahling), which he thought was strange seeing that there. He kept watching that booth to see how much of the Folsom Fair crowd had any interest in luxury cruising on cruise liners (which are terrible for the environment BTW). He didn’t see any interest in luxury cruising there. That’s good. And it looked like there was a bit of commercial space that didn’t get rented. That’s about all I remember from what he told me. Chau.—el barrio rosa


“Honey, I Think It Would Be Nice To Move To San Francisco”

“Queering The Castro”

4 comments on “The New Castro Clones, Closet Cases, and The Folsom Street Fair 2016

  1. Jay

    I’ve been going to Folsom Street Fair for years and this fair was definitely different . Your friend may have missed this – They had military and police recruiting booths there. Never seen that before. They tried military recruiting at Pride a couple years ago and had some protests, although not by most people. No protests at FSF. There used to be lots leather chaps there….none this year. I think we’re beginning to see the end of the Folsom Street Fair as we know it. It will either come of an end or be a straight event. There were far more females this year than ever before and more straight couples. Watch for next year, we’ll see baby strollers there.

  2. Former San Franciscan

    I remember the white stickers on the vid covers in Rock Hard’s window when I lived there. They’re still doing that! There was another store up the street towards Market that was required to do the same thing with white stickers. A couple years ago a conservative rag in SF wrote that “the Castro is not the best place for children or to take children.” I guess by that they meant that children should not see rainbow flags because from what friends tell me who still live there that’s about the only difference today between the Castro and any other part of SF. It’s okay for children to see straights making out but not gays (not that you see that often). What’s this progress that people like to talk about that we’ve made?

  3. strangetimes

    people talk about this progress that glbtq’s have made and then i read about a store in sf’s castro forced to put white stickers over sex video covers. some progress! strangetimes.

Fin. The End.