Do you watch The Q?

The background wall was a drab grey with white trim. The host was sitting there in a cold-shoulders-style solid black dress as if going to or coming back from a funeral. After a few moments, I realised a studio guest was sitting there next to her wearing white pants and a drab grey sweater with a grey scarf around his neck. But at first I asked my myself: Is someone sitting next to her? I think so. Although it was hard to tell because he blended beautifully into the background since he was wearing the same coloured clothing as the background wall and trim. The Q’s continuing obsession with black, grey and white.

Hola a todos. Do you occasionally watch the shopping network? I have the shopping network on — the one that begins with a “Q” — when there’s nothing to watch monitor on the español language networks. I find “Q” to be among the least obnoxious and annoying of all programming on television.

Colour Lifts The Spirits

The first thing I noticed about “Q” is their sets. They have some very nice sets and some very elaborately built sets, but they could look so much nicer. Unfortunately, whoever came up with their colour scheme is very afraid of colour and likes living in a very cold-looking, drab, sterile-looking, depressing-dreary gray world. That’s because most of their sets are painted in various shades of industrial gray and white. Boring. Even their flooring, carpet and furniture are in shades of gray. The tables they use are white or drab gray. There’s nothing “warm” or “homey” about their sets at all. They’re very spacious, and some of them look oversized/way too big for their needs. I wouldn’t describe them as an inviting place to live and I don’t know who would find them attractive really other than the sheeple who are into this long-going shallow fad of conservative black, gray and white. Their sets remind me of some of the Luxury Designer Condos (Dahling) purchased by the young breeder Millennial basura with absolutely no taste in anything who have moved to San Francisco in recent years. The wealthy and bougi Millenials’ condos resemble the interior of a sterile corporate office rather than a home. Who raised these people with no taste? Well, the same goes for “Q” and their sets, unfortunately: a sea of shades of light/pastel gray and white. One of their large sets resembles a mortuary design with its columns and windows, although I doubt they’ve ever thought of it like that. That set is designed in a mesh-mash of various styles. Overall, various shades of casket-gray and boring white colours grace their sets. The only colour is usually with the items they’re selling. Even the clothing worn by the show hosts and most guests is usually/often all-black or monochrome black and gray as if everyone is in a depressed state of mourning. One might turn on “Q” and ask: Who died? Did someone at the network die and you’re in mourning? Is that why most people there are in all-black? Other clothing combinations I see on “Q” are black and gray or black and white. It’s as if they have a general “dress code” where they urge that most people (hosts and guests) before their cameras be in all-black, black and gray or black and white. Rather silly and it’s become so predictable looking. Either that, or there’s lot of “copy-cat” stuff going on there among show hosts and guests. Although some of the show hosts wear the clothes that they’re selling which can be of various pretty colours. They do have one set I see on occasion that is of a naranja/orange hue and that set looks much better and more full of life and they have something on the wall of a lime-yellow hue which looks very nice.

They and other corporate networks have gone so overboard to the extreme with this monochrome black/gray and white conformist obsession. There was the show host in her cold-shoulders-style black dress. The table in front of her and her guest was white. The items being sold were in three displayed colours: (Can you guess what colours they were?) Yes, they were in black, gray and white. Imagine that! The back wall was a dingy gray. The only colour on the set was the green plant in the background and the pale blue shirt (buttoned all the way up to the top very conservatively) worn by the guest. That’s another thing I’ve noticed with these corporate networks. The female host can show all the “skin” she wants or can get away with, but the male host or guest has to be (or feels the need to be) covered up like a nun. There’s definitely a double-standard.

I talked with mi amigo/my friend who is retired. In his career, he was a very successful interior designer/contractor here in San Francisco for many years. He said that the moldings on “Q’s” sets are designed for multi-colour patterns more in a Victorian-Edwardian style. But instead, they have painted everything in a drab, dreary, Navy-Gray colour. For a colour reference, navy-gray is the colour of the ocean when you’re out on a boat.

Mi amigo said that whoever designed their sets did a nice job, but the painting contractor they employed sucks. And s/he doesn’t seem capable of doing a 3-4 colour pattern that would lift the spirits. I would think that the more colour used on the set would also encourage more people to buy when they see such a beautiful, colourful set. Instead of a drab, mortuary-casket-gray and bland white-trim set. I suspect the set designers would say: “You have to have a consistent colour in the background for the clothing to show up on camera.” Well, as it is now and in case they haven’t noticed, often their gray clothing (and they have tons of that) fades beautifully into the background rather than standing-out and sometimes their cameras appear to be having trouble with their striped clothing and repetitive dark patterns. Another thing: white and off-white are the best colours for a background for most colours to be seen well. And they do have some sets with white walls, white baseboards, white window trim (white, white, white!) and of course gray floors. The tables they use for displays are usually white or gray from what I’ve seen.

But we want colour! So that’s what we’re dealing with here.

I don’t really enjoy being critical of “Q” and if they had shades of beautiful Latin colours on their sets — which that orange set I mentioned earlier is closer to — I would be writing, “they at Q have the most beautiful sets I’ve seen anywhere; what an absolute pleasure to look at.” Well maybe when they choose to repaint and buy new furniture I’ll update this and say that. Mi amigo says that he thinks colour may be “coming back in.” On some of their shows they are showing lots of colourful clothing. Yet on other shows, it’s back to conservative funeral-black or boring monochrome black and gray. It really depends upon the show and hosts/guests. Last night, both the host and the guest were wearing solid black dresses. So imaginative! [sarcasm intended].

I’ve noticed that “Q” doesn’t require their show hosts to look like models and I think that’s very good and they do have some diversity among their show hosts.

They do seem to require most of their models to look more like stereotypical models, but not in the “perfect model” sense. One doesn’t have to look anorexic to work as a model on “Q.” And their models smile — although sometimes they look like fake or forced smiles — unlike models one sees on a runway where they look like their face would break if they had to crack a smile. At least from the models I’ve seen on runways, most models look like real snots. The exception to that was the lovely runway models of Ecomoda on Yo Soy Betty, La Fea. Most of Ecomoda’s models smiled. I’ve seen some more average-build models on “Q” and they have some ethnic diversity among the models. It’s also very good to see the hosts being friendly with the models and vice versa, as opposed to, well, a host could think that s/he is superior to a model (which of course is nonsense) but that could be the attitude of some hosts, but I haven’t sensed that from anyone. And the models are really there to assist/help the host in promoting/selling their items so it’s good to see everyone working together on “Q.”

As I usually do, I was wondering if they have any out-Queer hosts? I haven’t noticed any, per se. I did notice a comment from one host which struck me as heteronormative, which annoyed me. The host was talking with two guys (they were the guests selling their items) and the host said that one of the guys was about to get married and the other guy hadn’t found “Ms Right.” Really? Now unless I missed part of their conversation before tuning in, how would this host know that this guy was looking for a “Ms Right” as opposed to a “Mr Right?” It is not wise to assume the sexuality of someone is heterosexual/a breeder especially here in 2017. It made me ask the television: Are there no Queer people in this host’s world? Although recently, Queer boy Barry Manilow as on the network for an hour. He was promoting his most recent music CD and he and the show host talked about his partner, Garry, and a little bit about their life in Palm Springs. Barry likes Palm Springs because he said it’s quiet there. Barry is a very informal, humble/modest, friendly guy. It was good to see him. During my disco days I danced to some of his music and enjoyed it.

I heard one male host make some reference to “tell them that mom and dad are going out to dinner tonight.” Why is it “mom and dad?” That’s another heteronormative statement. Are there no dad and dad or mom and mom families in this host’s world? And I would think that the same-gender parents in the audience would not appreciate that heteronormative comment.

Speaking of out-Queer personalities, they do have one Queer designer (who shall remain nameless) who 99% of the time wears conformist and conservative solid-black (head to toe), including his shoes. I have seen him on one occasion recently in black and white. I don’t know that he’s out of the closet on the network — considering a comment he recently made about one of their models — but a little bit of research online shows that he’s out of the closet. There are pictures of him and his male partner after they were married. Which is why I found it odd on one of his recent visits to “Q” that he was going on about one of the model’s “fabulous legs.” I’ve never known Queer boys to be into female’s legs whether they were “fabulous” or ordinary and his comment was very heteronormative as if he were trying to pretend to be a breeder/straight guy (when he’s not). I’m so sick and tired of Queers being heteronormative and making heteronormative comments. It was a turn-off. Or, did they tell him to make that comment about the model’s legs? Also, he designs pretty colourful clothing items for females, yet he never wears any colour himself. But should someone die during the day, he’s already to go to their funeral/memorial on a moment’s notice in his all-black clothing “uniform.”

Who eats all that food?

Mi amigo/My friend and I were wondering who eats all of the pounds and pounds of comida/food that comes through those sets at “Q” through their food demonstrations/presentations? I know “Q” has a very large staff so I suspect the employees may eat the comida from the various shows of the network.

I’ve complained a lot about the black tights and lingerie shirts that the Millennial techie basura in San Francisco and elsewhere have been/are wearing — where los muchachas look like they’re ready for a night out on the town and/or they look like a sex worker — and they wear that get-up to their job. Well, “Q” also sells that clothing. I’ve learned that they’re called “leggings” although I’ve heard some hosts and testimonial callers refer to them as “tights.”

“Chic” and “modern” seem to be two of the dominant marketing buzzwords I’ve heard show hosts use to describe the clothing they sell. And I’ve heard many hosts says, “You know I really love this. I just love it!!! It is just so chic.” Translation: You, the viewer, should love it too and order it.

They have quite a variety of things they sell on “Q.” I think it’s quite a job to be a show host because they usually have to go from one item to another and they have to know something about each item — they do have cards to glance at to help them with that — but you can’t have any “dead air” so they have to keep busy as they promote their items. At times, I sense that some show hosts are “glazing over.” By that I mean that their brain is fried and they sorta lose it and sometimes start laughing (understandably so) because there’s only so much that can be said about certain items they’re selling and they’ve said it all yet they have to keep talking about the items. It’s a lot of work. They do have the help of the studio guest there with them, so that takes some of the load off. But still, I think it’s quite a job to e a show host and I think their shifts are about 4 hours maximum, from what I can tell. And maybe I’m wrong about this, but from what I’ve noticed most of their show hosts don’t have a regularly-scheduled shift which must be hard on one’s sleep schedule.

As I was concluding this article, they were doing this demonstration for a heated hair brush. The host was dressed in all-black. The guest hair stylist was wearing — can you guess? — a black suit with a gray shirt and (of course) a black tie. And he was wearing a thick black ring on his left hand in keeping with the black, gray and white obsession on “Q” and other corporate networks. Then later, for selling a skin cream there were three women on the set: the show host in a black dress, the guest in a white dress and the woman whose face they were using for the demonstration: She was wearing black and white: black pants and a white shirt.

As I was completing this article, they were selling mattresses on “Q.” They were marketing their mattresses to breeders because all the images they showed when two people were in bed was that of young him and her. The size chart for the mattresses also showed graphics of him and her. I told mi amigo about this. He said: I completely understand your point, but this mattress company is there to make dinero/money and if they showed two guys or two females in bed whether they were touching or not they probably wouldn’t sell any mattresses. I said: But we’ve been told repeatedly by the heteronormative idiots of corporatist Brand LGBT that “gay is now mainstream and gay people can live anywhere.” Ha! He said: Oh I know all that, but you and I both know that’s not true. It’s not the reality. Also, as I was completing this article, there was lots of beautiful colour with some t-shirts they were selling the evening of el 23 de abril 2017/23 April 2017. Very pretty colours to help liven up their dull gray set.

And finally, could someone please tell Kim Gravel to stop assuming the sexuality of the models? When Kim started on the network, I enjoyed her. She was unusual with her sassy self and all of her “down home” stories. But then when she started assuming people’s sexuality without knowing anything about them, she began to turn me off a bit. It seems that in Kim’s world, all the models “need a man.” I suspect some of the models disagree with that. How many times has Kim said that? I remember when she said that to one of the models and the model shook her head in disapproval and looked a bit embarrassed. Kim dear, I suspect that not all of the models are straight so the lesbian models do not need a man, nor do they want a man nor do they appreciate you erroneously assuming their sexual orientation. Are there no gay people in your world, Kim? Not everyone in the world is straight, Kim. If you think that, you need to get out more, dear. The curious thing about Kim is that when she first started on The Q, I thought she was a lesbian despite her intentionally talking about her husband. To make the viewers think she has a husband, whether she does or not? I remember telling mi amigo/my friend about her: They’ve hired this sassy lesbian as one of the new clothing line guests. She’s quite a hoot. You never know what she’s going to say! And with Kim Gravel, that’s pretty much the case. Chau.—el barrio rosa

2 comments on “Do you watch The Q?

  1. Queer boi

    Interesting you write about this since it’s what I have playing a lot of the time. Sometimes they’re sexist and very conservative on there – major turnout. They were advertizing this fitness thing and going through the colors available. They said, “if you have a partner or significant other, and we have black for the guys ….” I have to wear black? I don’t wear black. Guess I’m not allowed to choose my own color. Don’t you just love breeders and their predetermined rules and requirements? Progressive guys wear any color they want.

    1. Ellen in Maryland

      I have it on too but with the sound down. Can’t take all the sales pitches, how cute and wonderful everything is and the hosts that talk “up”. They’re annoying and the hosts that say “I go” instead of “I said.” Speaks to our mediocre education system again.

      Think you saw the same thing I did last night. This fitness thing (looked like a watch) like you said and the colors were black, pink and orange for the wrist band. To hear the show host tell it, men aren’t supposed to wear pink or orange. LOL. Guess she’s been in the studio too much and hasn’tseen all the men out and about over the years wearing pink shirts or orange hoodies, orange shirts and pants, and all colors of watch bands and the like.

Fin. The End.